| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Dude Robs Convenience Store, Gets Away With Two Bucks - The crook should have left his gun at home, armed robbery is a felony, and when he's caught he will end up doing hard time over two bucks.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Fat Dude Wearing Tutu And Purple Tights Burglarizes A Church - At one point Baker jumped a chain link fence -- not a wise thing to do when your genitals are exposed.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | New Yorker Sues: Finds Animal Toe In Package Of Artichoke Spinach Dip - This is far from a frivolous lawsuit; I hope Brodsky wins enough money to hire a psychiatrist and a chef.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Two Female Thieves Steal 34K Worth Of Bras And Panties From Victoria's Secret - No woman in Florida may ever again purchase any Victoria's Secret underwear, knowing that the garments that these women stole may have been put back on the shelf.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Video: Monster Van Crushes Toyota Corolla At The Redneck Yacht Club - The words "redneck" and "yacht club" just don't go together. I wonder if they serve caviar and chitlins at the Redneck Yacht Club?
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Unbelievable! Dude Leaves Store Wtih 19-Inch TV In His Pants - The logistics of cramming a 19-inch (needless to say it was a flat-screen) TV in your pants and being able to walk out of the store are mind-boggling.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | 13-Year-Old Boy: I Stole AK-47 Because I'm Sure My Mom Won't Buy Me One - Somebody needs to put the fear of God into that kid, because I'm pretty sure his mother never will.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Would You Buy A Chicken McNugget That Looks Like George Washington? - I don't think the McNugget looks like George Washingtion anymore than it looks like Flavor Flav, but what the heck the money is going to a good cause.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Naked Burglar Steals Bottle Of Rum, Homeowner Gives Him Underwear - I'm also interested why Kluesener stole a bottle of Captain Morgan rum, you'd think he would have stolen underpants first.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Lady Shoplifts Crest Whitestrips And Places Them In Mouth - Stovall stole cosmetics and torch oil, if the cosmetics failed to improve her looks was she planning on setting herself on fire?
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Stop The Insanity: Dude Tries To Rob A Gas Station With Finger - Dude, next time don a hockey mask, instead of putting a plastic bag over your head. A hockey mask elicits fear, a plastic bag ridicule.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Dude Brandishing A Light Bulb Tries To Rob Gas Station - Watt the heck was he thinking?
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Did Teen Really Lift Buick To Free Grandpa? - Smith credits adrenaline for the miracle, he should credit chutzpah. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Gaffe Machine Joe Biden To Visit 'Road Island' - Biden is no Rhodes Scholar, but he does know that it's Rhode Island, right?
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Survey: 35 Percent Of Adult Brits Sleep With A Teddy Bear - Men need to come out of the closet, don't hide your teddy bear when your girlfriend comes over to spend the night. In these perilous times, we all need a teddy bear to make it through the night.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Dude Without A Stitch Of Clothing Goes Shoplifting At Walmart - In a sane world it would have been a supermodel sashaying around in a Walmart sans clothing.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Outrage: Two Ladies Offer To Flash Their Boobs For A Beer - I`ve seen their mugshots; I would have bought them a keg of beer to keep their tops on.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Silly Boy Steals Wal-mart $5 Tomato Plant, Thought It Was Pot Plant - If you steal a "pot plant" and it turns out to be a $5 tomato plant, from Wal-Mart for God's sake, you'll never make it as a burglar.
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| Dr. Annabelle R. Charbit |  | Is Your Pregnancy Making You Go Bonkers? - Some women sail through their pregnancies with nary a misfiring neuron, but if you have ever felt the churning anger that splashes the backs of your eyes and temporarily blinds you, or the black futility of depression, where the mere thought of rising from you bed fills you with horror, then you know what it feels like to have pregnancy psychosis. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Stop The Insanity: Couple Gets Married At Walmart - Walmart is one of the most evil corporations in the world, I will never set foot inside the store, not even to attend a friend's wedding.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | What's Valentine's Day Without A Little Bondage Role-Playing? - I hope all of my readers had as much fun as this couple on Valentine's Day.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Valentine's Day Kissing Marathon In Thailand - The winners will receive a diamond ring,and a voucher for a stay in a hospital. They should receive a crate of Chapstick as well.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | I Have No Love For Postal Service And Valentine's Day - Valentine's Day is as outdated a concept as the postal service. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Moron Fugitive Gives His Location Away On Facebook, Cops Nab Him - Michele is now in prison in Rome, he won't have to update his Facebook page as to his current location, everybody knows where he is cooped up.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Surprise! A Buddhist Monk Is The Inventor Of 5-Hour-Energy Drink - Energy drinks are anathema to folks like me, "laid back" is my default mode. A non-energy drink with a name like "Supreme Dank" or "Marvelous Mary Jane", that's my cup of tea.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Stop The Insanity: Company Tattoos Hair Onto Bald Men - Smart chicks love bald-headed gentleman, rock that bald head, ladies will follow you like you are the Pied Piper of Cool.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | One- Legged Dude Hid Cocaine In His Behind, Couldn't Outrun Cops - Wyman is intelligent and resourceful, he hid his cocaine in the crack of his behind, knowing full well that cops will think twice before searching a big fat ugly man's nether regions.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Ex-Mayor Steals Gigantic Mixer To Mix Pizza Dough For Party At His House - I doubt if Guidi would be elected dogcatcher of Hawthorne at this point.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Theft Of Frozen Fetus Leads To Gang Fight Of Epic Proportions - The gang bangers were members of the notorious Black Power Gang, they would seem more frightening if they called themselves The Frozen Fetus Gang.
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| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Corpse Sits Among Gamers In Internet Cafe: Nobody Notices Or Cares! - A dude playing a video game looks like a dead man, as he sits mesmerized before the video screen with only his fingers moving at warp speed.
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