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Will Says...

Dude Sues Date for Texting During 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vo. 2'

The lawsuit alleges the woman opened her phone to read and send text messages 10 to 20 times during the film.

Robert Paul ReyesWoman Caught Smuggling Weed Tells Court: I Thought It Was Real Grass - A woman who told a Swedish court she thought the 15 pounds of marijuana she smuggled into the country was grass for the lawn was sentenced to jail.
Robert Paul ReyesUnto Us a Monster Child is Born - The bouncing (not sure this monster baby can bounce) baby boy is doing just fine, and mom is hoping he will turn out to be a football player.
Robert Paul ReyesBill Gates Invests In Urine-Powered Mobile Phones: Video - It`s not an inalienable human right to own a cell phone; people who live in 3rd world hell holes can send messages using smoke signals or carrier pigeons.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Santa Claus Robs Bank! Video! - Ain`t nothing new under the sun, there are dozens of videos on YouTube of evil Santas robbing banks and convenience stores.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Hillbilly Judge Rules Possum Drop Can Take Place New Year's Eve: Video - I hope PETA supporters show up en masse and disrupt this hillbilly abomination. Just say No to hillbilly tomfoolery!
Robert Paul Reyes'Prancing Elites' Black Drag Queens Cause Uproar At Christmas Parade: Video - Christmas is a time for everybody to prance around and have a good time; Merry Christmas to all my readers.
Robert Paul ReyesTerrified Airline Pilot Ducks As He Sees UFO Heading Straight To Cockpit! - The captain claims he saw a flying object shaped like a cigar, methinks the good captain has Freudian issues.
Robert Paul ReyesMystery Santa Causes Panic By Waving To Schoolchildren - I`ve had enough of this overabundance of caution " bullcrap; everybody just needs to chill the hell out.
Robert Paul ReyesKnife-Wielding Moron Tries To Rob Off-Duty Cop - Chicago police said they arrested a man accused of trying to rob an off-duty police officer at knifepoint on the street.
Robert Paul ReyesMan Attacks Mother In Christmas Ornament Dispute - Atwood, who was drunk at the time, was charged with misdemeanor domestic assault. Let`s hope he spends Christmas behind bars, and that his cellmate beats the holy hell out of him.
Robert Paul ReyesKrampus-Themed Christmas Display Sparks Outrage: Video - May Krampus make mincemeat out of all the nasty children this Christmas!
Robert Paul ReyesNews Anchor Fired After Dropping F-Bomb During Newscast: Video - You don`t have to be a news anchor legend like Ron Burgundy, to know that you always assume that the microphone is on.
Robert Paul ReyesDude in Christmas Elf Costume Arrested for DUI: Video! - Nothing good ever happens at 3 AM, especially when you are drunk as a skunk and dressed as the elf character portrayed by Will Ferrell in the 2003 movie " Elf."
Robert Paul Reyes'Living Nativity` Scene Depicts Santa Bowing to Baby Jesus - It`s good to know that in a living nativity scene in a Baptist Church, Santa is paying homage to Jesus, and the self-sacrifice, and good will that he represents.
Robert Paul ReyesUFO Turns Out To Be Trash Bags Filled With Helium: Video - A UFO described as a big black blob was photographed over the town of Ellensburg, Washington. The witness says it 'expanded and contracted like some kind of jagged, geometric puffer fish
Robert Paul ReyesSantapocalypse: Santas Have Epic Deathmatch In New York City: Video - God damn these Santas straight to hell!
Robert Paul ReyesTeacher Tells Black Student Who Wore Santa Claus Outfit: Santa's White! Video! - Some folks can`t abide the idea of a black youngster wearing a Santa Claus outfit, in what planet they argue does a black young man break into a house to leave presents behind?
Robert Paul ReyesAirport Security Guard's Amazing Dive To Catch Falling Toddler: Video - Paczek`s heroics didn`t go unnoticed, he received and undisclosed sum as a Christmas bonus.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Arrest Driver Named Jesus Who Was Hauling Weed in Christmas Wrapped Packages - A man named Jesus is driving around Surfside, Fla. with weed in boxes wrapped as Christmas presents. The cops should have presented this Jesus/Santa dude with a key to the city of Surfside instead of arresting him.
Robert Paul ReyesProstitute Sues Colorado For Not Letting Her Open Medical Marijuana Store - Let Kenyon open a medical marijuana store. She can call it: Ho-listic Heavenly Herb!
Robert Paul ReyesLayaway Santa Pays Off $20,000 in Layaway Accounts At Walmart: Video - Paraday is a good egg, let`s follow his example and get busy performing random acts of kindness this Christmas season.
Robert Paul ReyesLA Black Santa Most Popular Santa In The World: Video - I don`t care if Santa is purple as long as he leaves some presents under my Christmas tree this year.
Robert Paul ReyesWalmart Employee Shoots Co-Worker's Car Over Employee of the Month Award: Video - Mitchell may win an inmate of the month award, but I doubt he will ever win an employee of the month award.
Robert Paul ReyesSwedish Grinch Steals Christmas Mailbox Full of Christmas Cards - The Swedish postal service has a quaint custom of installing red mailboxes during Christmas; wide-eyed children drop their letters to Santa and blue-haired old ladies with weak eyes drop Xmas cards to their grandkids in these festive mailboxes.
Robert Paul ReyesPerfect Christmas Gift For UFO Nuts: UFO Detector! Video! - If you have a weird uncle who`s into yoga, collecting butterflies and UFO`s, buy him a UFO Detector for Christmas. This contraption beeps when it detects a magnetic anomaly usually associated with flying saucers.
Robert Paul ReyesCanada Post Apologizes for Santa Letter Returned to 6-year-old for Misspelling 'North Pole' - I`m surprised Santa`s letter with the postal code "hohoho" wasn`t mailed to Miley Cyrus.
Robert Paul ReyesTSA Confiscates 2-Inch Gun From Sock Monkey: Video - I can sleep peacefully at night knowing that the TSA goons are diligently working to make sure that the Friendly Skies are free from sword-wielding terrorists and gun-brandishing sock monkeys.
Robert Paul ReyesMcDonald's Employees Assaulted over Missing Hash Browns: Video - Police have charged an Arizona couple with assault and disorderly conduct after they called 911 and threw food at McDonald's employees because their breakfast order was missing hash browns.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Brandishes Sword & Demands 6 Free Tacos: Video - Adam Kramer is accused of attempting to score himself six free tacos by using a sword to threaten a server at the Bexar County Mexican restaurant in San Antonio, Texas.
Robert Paul ReyesMexican Girl, 17, Injects Krokodil Into Genitals: Vagina Rotting! Video! - We`re all familiar with the classic "this is brain on drugs" commercial, perhaps this fine young lady can star in 2013 update "this is your vagina on drugs " public service ad.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World audio podcast.
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