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Will Says...

Dude Eats Scrambled Eggs in Middle of Busy Street

Death to all performance artists.

Robert Paul ReyesKid Hid In Trash Bin, Wanted To See Inside Garbage Truck: Video - Connor`s parents should fire the babysitter, give Connor a spanking he won`t soon forget, and thank the gods that their son wasn`t seriously hurt.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Six Flags Great America Gives 100 Millionth Guest A Free Pizza - I will never set foot inside a Six Flags amusement park again, I`d rather spend all my money at a carnival where all the games are rigged, and all the carny employees are inbred rednecks.
Robert Paul ReyesBurger King Employee Hides Robbers' Getaway Car: Video - Hey idiots do you want fries with that, or are you content with egg on your face?
Robert Paul Reyes'Thong Cape Scooter Man', 56, Despised By Civilized Society: Video - What can you do? It`s not against the law to be an obtuse and obese moron!
Robert Paul ReyesSmashburger Offers Free Burgers To Folks Named 'Burger': Video - What a lousy promotion, how many people have the surname "Burger"?
Robert Paul ReyesGerman Cafe Charges Customers By The Hour - Charging customers for the amount of time they spend in a café might just work.
Robert Paul ReyesMarathon Runner Chases Down Purse Snatcher - The mugger was arrested and charged, and the marathon runner is being proclaimed a hero.
Robert Paul ReyesUFO Mothership Photographed Over Historical Edgemoor Barn: Video - Did Henry take a pic of a flying saucer or just a really cool old barn? You be the judge!
Robert Paul ReyesWise Mom Has Evil Son Arrested For Stealing Her Pop-Tart: Video - It`s a slippery slope my friends, if the mother looks the other way when her good-for-nothing son steals her Pop-Tart, soon he will steal her jewelry and sell it on eBay.
Robert Paul ReyesTwisted Woman Conks Man Over The Head With Garden Gnome: Video - A garden gnome is a small humanoid creature, usually wearing a jaunty pointy hat, intended for the purpose of ornamentation and protection from evil spirits.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Teacher Suspended For Sleeping During Class - Shame on the students for getting their hardworking teacher in trouble!
Robert Paul ReyesDude's Arm Takes 6 Years To Heal, Breaks Day After Final Treatment - The day after his final treatment Blackburn tripped over his pooch, tumbled down stairs, and shattered his arm.
Robert Paul ReyesBicycle Messenger Makes Rounds With Cat Perched On His Shoulder: Video - Commuters find it difficult not to smile when they see bike messenger Rudi Salida make his appointed rounds with his cat, Mary Jane, precariously perched on his shoulder.
Robert Paul ReyesDetroit Mower Gang Mowing Abandoned Playgrounds: Video - I applaud the Detroit Mower Gang for their good intentions, but they remind me of rearranging chairs on the deck of the Titanic.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Wore Ankle Monitor During 20+ Break-ins - Throw away the key and the ankle monitor and lock up this oxygen thief for the rest of his miserable life.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: City Orders Homeowner To Take Down Christmas Decorations - This incident isn`t an example of the so-called War on Christmas ", it`s a prosecution of an aesthetic crime.
Robert Paul ReyesFailed Bank Robber Robs Drugstore Across The Street - The defining characteristic of this moron is laziness, not stupidity.
Robert Paul ReyesGirl Bully Learns Lessons From Thrift Shop Clothes! Macklemore Video! - If you are innately cool you can buy your wardrobe at a thrift store and rock the hell out of second-hand duds.
Robert Paul ReyesFrisco Restaurant 'Bacon, Bacon' Forced To Close Because Of Bacon Smell, Video - I would pay to live next to an eatery where the delicious aroma of bacon envelopes the neighborhood.
Robert Paul ReyesMoron Car Burlgars Accidentally Butt Dial 911 - A Smartphone can be a dangerous instrument in the hands of a butthead.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Couple Change Baby's Diapers At Their Seat At Starbucks - The cops should have hauled away the offending couple, and their damn baby to jail.
Robert Paul ReyesOld Hag's Claim Gang Of Blacks Robbed Her Of Jewelry:FALSE - This old woman is a one-person crime wave, and the cops should at the very least charge her with filing a false police report.
Robert Paul ReyesTheater Critic Smashes Audience Member's Smartphone - Bravo! Mr. Williamson, you are a scholar and a gentleman.
Robert Paul ReyesBurglar Shot After Victim Forced into Closet with Gun - Fortunately, the deadliest weapon in the closet wasn`t a pair of stiletto heels.
Robert Paul ReyesCouple See Image of Jesus Christ in Newspaper Ink Blob - That same ink blob would look like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton or Angelina Jolie to yours truly.
Robert Paul ReyesMayoral Candidate Claims Endorsement From Jesus Christ - WWJD? I seriously doubt Jesus would vote, let alone endorse, a candidate who accused her opponent of using voodoo sorcery against her.
Robert Paul ReyesLady In A Pickle: She Beat Employee Who Added Too Many PicklesTo Her Sandwich - Don`t expect a fast food restaurant to get every item on the menu right, just be grateful if their specialty is usually delicious.
Robert Paul ReyesPlane Passenger Ejected For Non-Stop Singing Of Whitney Houston: Videos - If there is a God in heaven this woman`s cellmate will be a jailbird who can`t stop singing Justin Bieber songs.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Completes Handwritten Bible After 7 Years: Video - I must give Patterson credit for seeing his arduous project through to completion. Too many of us start an ambitious project, writing a novel or whatever, and then give up in frustration.
Robert Paul ReyesAustralian Restaurant Offers $120 Bacon and Egg Sandwich: Video - If I was starving and Jehovah rained down manna from heaven, I would demand bacon instead.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World audio podcast.
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