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Will Says...

Old Ladies Crazy About Old Cowboy Who Rides a Robotic Horse

But I have to tip my hat to the Crazy Cranford Cowboy, a crazy old coot who tools around town atop a robotic horse is a pimp in my book.

Robert Paul ReyesMan Eats 28 Raw Eggs On A Dare, And Dies! Does He Deserve Sympathy? - This guy's friends weren't exactly good eggs, they waiting too long to call for an ambulance.
Robert Paul ReyesAussie Driver Photographed With Feet Out The Window - This idiot, who is a new driver, should be forced to enroll in a driving education school, and obligated to perform community service in a morgue.
Robert Paul ReyesGerman Tax Collectors Suggest Truck Drivers Keep Toilet Logs - The only paperwork that the German truck drivers should send to the tax authorities should be soiled toilet paper.
Robert Paul ReyesEgghead Professor: Santa's Reindeer Are Really Caribou! Humbug! - We don`t need any scatter-brained professors ruining Christmas for children from one to ninety-one.
Robert Paul ReyesPair Of British Elves Beat Up Two Blokes - Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Robert Paul ReyesSanta Claus Robs Safe In Australian Mall! Go Santa! Go Santa! - Nice Going Santa, have a Merry Christmas!
Robert Paul ReyesMensa Apologizes For Calling Hypothetical 60 IQ Person A 'Carrot' - Carrots won`t be reading this article, but if I`ve offended any morons: Get a grip!
Robert Paul ReyesMadness: New Zealand Bus Shelter Converted To Comfy Lounge! - Whether in Brooklyn, New York or Brooklyn, New Zealand, a bus shelter is one of the scuzziest places on Earth.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Lady Accused Of Using Human Bone As Sex Toy - I have a bone to pick with this lady, she should buy vibrators from the Internet like most respectable women.
Robert Paul ReyesBirdbrain Chicago Alderman Proposes $1,000 Fine For Feeding Pigeons - Cappelman`s proposed law is for the birds, the voters of Chicago should kick this birdbrain to the curb.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Arrested For Speeding With 2nd Man On Hood - Maybe Honey Boo Boo threw one of the drunkards on the hood of the car, and told the other one to get the hell out of Dodge.
Robert Paul ReyesHow To Set A Record For A Zombie Gathering - I`m ready for the Zombie Apocalypse. I have plenty of beer, a shotgun, and the complete first season on DVD of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."
Robert Paul ReyesDude Tried To Drown Wife In Dog Bowl Over Undercooked Pizza - I can understand the man slamming his plate against the front door, but trying to kill his wife over an undercooked pizza is taking things a bit too far.
Robert Paul ReyesTeen Burglar Steals 4 Gallons Of Honey! Why, Dear God, Why? - I can understand the typical Russian household having gallons of vodka, but who on Earth would keep gallons of honey in his home?
Robert Paul ReyesJudge Orders Dude To Pay $28,109.60 Strip Club Tab! Loser! - The law can`t protect a dude from letting his genitals do all the thinking for him.
Robert Paul ReyesPolish Dude Mistakes Hot Iron For Phone: Burns His Face! - I promise no "Dumb Pollack" jokes!
Robert Paul ReyesWonderful Sight: 50-foot Rubber Ducky Floats Down River Thames - A rubber ducky is a totemic object that is cherished by tots and adults.
Robert Paul ReyesVideo: Fake TV Designed To Fool Stupid Burglars - Buy a real German Shepherd, his barking will deter any burglars prowling around your neighborhood.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Builds Nativity Scene Made Out Of Potato Chips - A nativity scene that's good enough to eat.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Kind Lady Fined For Renting Garden Shed To Homeless Couple - Instead of being fined, this compassionate woman should be awarded a key to the city.
Robert Paul ReyesVideo: Underwear Maker Bjorn Borg Pixelated Privates Undies A Big Hit - As for a pretty woman wearing pixelated privates panties, I would pull them off; pixelated images give me a headache.
Robert Paul ReyesCreep, 67, Accused Of Dumping Soiled Adult Diapers On Road - The judge should throw the book or a bunch of soiled adult diapers at this scofflaw.
Robert Paul ReyesMiracle: Stolen Baby Jesus Returns To Church A Year Later - I imagine there will be a lot of "Buffys" who will make a pilgrimage to the church to worship the Baby Jesus.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Shoots Girlfriend: She Didn't Believe In Zombie Apocalypse - Jessica is the crazy person, how could she miss all the signs pointing to a zombie apocalypse?
Robert Paul ReyesCitizens Who Aren't Polite Will Be Ejected From French Town Hall - You can`t legislate morality or etiquette; I hope the good people of Lheraule curse the mayor for his stupidity.
Robert Paul ReyesTown Hires Security Guards To Protect Evil 4-Story Straw Goat - I plead with the solid citizens of Gavle, Sweden to burn the straw monstrosity to the ground.
Robert Paul ReyesStudy: Ladies More Likely Than Men To Check Women Out - Women are so busy taking mental notes of other women that sometimes they fail to take notice of studs, like yours truly.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: 400-Pound Metal Gorilla Stolen From Hotel Pool - There must have been at least one hotel quest who exclaimed: I must have downed too many shots of whiskey, I don't see the giant gorilla!
Robert Paul ReyesTwo Dudes Shoplift 300 Pairs of Victoria's Secret Panties - Victoria`s Secret seems to operate on the principle that the less material they use on a pair of panties, the more they will charge.
Robert Paul ReyesLady Beats Boyfriend With Foam-Rubber Bat, Then Switches To Aluminum Bat - If a man comes home before the rooster crows, his lady should spread rose petals from the front door to the bedroom.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World audio podcast.
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