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Will Says...

Old Ladies Crazy About Old Cowboy Who Rides a Robotic Horse

But I have to tip my hat to the Crazy Cranford Cowboy, a crazy old coot who tools around town atop a robotic horse is a pimp in my book.

Robert Paul ReyesTurkish Plastic Surgeon Performs 60 Mustache Implants Every Month! Turkeys! - The surgeon performs 60 of the procedures each month, I hope he makes these losers look like Groucho Marx.
Robert Paul ReyesHapless Fisherman Leaves Tub Of Scallop Organs In Wrong Car - I would not post a "lost and found" ad on Craigslist or create a Facebook page for the tub of scallop organs.
Robert Paul ReyesWannabe Rapper Steals School Bus To Drive To Detroit To Pursue Rapping Career - No rapper would be caught dead driving around in a school bus; homeboy should have stolen a Cadillac Escalade or carjacked a Hummer.
Robert Paul ReyesBigfoot DNA Evidence? Yeah, Right, And I Have Tooth Fairy DNA! - I have a hair that came out of my arse, I will mail it to the doctor, she might conclude that aliens have invaded our little blue planet.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Find 2 Gators, Ton of Weed, Brass Pole & Exotic Dancer At Shooting Scene - No word as to who went home with the lovey exotic dancer, but I`m sure the cops are going to be grooving to Bob Marley and smoking a lot of weed.
Robert Paul Reyes'Cleaning Fairy' Burglar Sentenced To 20 Hours Of Community Service - It`s not like Warren was cleaning up, as in making a lot of money, in her criminal career.
Robert Paul ReyesWiseguy Burlgar Leaves Note Behind, Claiming 'Inside Job' - Not even Octomom and her brood need that many television sets.
Robert Paul ReyesFirst Date Ends With Lady Assaulting Dude: She Wanted Him To Call Her His Girlfriend - It usually takes a few dates for a lady to go Fatal Attraction on a guy, at least Molina didn`t spend a lot of time and money on this woman before he realized that she was nuts.
Robert Paul ReyesFake Dentist Kissed Lady In Her Tush - This dude went to a lot of expense and trouble to fulfill his weird sexual fantasy, if only he would expend similar energy to learning a trade.
Robert Paul ReyesMom Accused Of Providing Strippers For Her Son's Birthday Party - This mom from hell is teaching her son that women are sexual objects for the gratification and entertainment of men.
Robert Paul ReyesGod Orders Lady To Speed, While Honking Horn And Sticking Her Arm Out Window - God can be a real wise guy, he may have told her to speed, but I doubt he provided her with bail money.
Robert Paul ReyesSanta Gets Stuck By Beard, Left Dangling 15 Feet Off The Ground, Kids Horrified! - Rescuers were able to cut Santa`s beard out of the rope, and he made it safely down amidst cheers from the children.
Robert Paul ReyesKid, 17, Steals Toys From Walmart! Wanted To Play Santa For Girlfriend's Kids - At least Sparks was shoplifting and not actually buying toys from the truly evil Walmart Corporation, where all of the toys are made in sweat shops in China, and not by elves in the North Pole.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Dressed As Giraffe Performs Random Acts Of Kindness - You don`t have to dress as a giraffe or a bumblebee to volunteer at a soap kitchen or perform a random act of kindness.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Use Stun Gun On Naked Gentleman - The cop should have aimed the stun gun at the moron`s testicles, giving a new definition to "numbnuts."
Robert Paul Reyes'Spiderman' Cooling His Heels In Jail After Snatching Lady's Purse - I hope this moron is allowed to wear his costume in jail; the other jailbirds will love him to death.
Robert Paul ReyesNigerian Teen Girls Create Urine-Powered Generator - The girls don`t have a pot to p*** on, imagine what they could accomplish if they had access to a lab.
Robert Paul ReyesCanadian Lady, 96, Loses Photo ID, Physicians Refuse To Treat Her - It should be against the law for a person in Canada or America to leave home without a photo ID.
Robert Paul ReyesThief Steals Chinese-Food Delivery Truck, Makes Deliveries, Keeps Money! - A true stoner, who doesn`t mess with other drugs, may have stolen a couple of fortune cookies from the delivery truck, but he wouldn`t have stolen the vehicle.
Robert Paul ReyesPedestrian Hit By Police Car, Evil Cops Bill Him For Repairs To Cruiser - The cops should do the right thing, and give this dude a keg of beer, before he sues them.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Takes Pregnancy Test As A Joke, Discovers He Has Testicular Cancer! - I don`t recommend that men take a pregnancy test to determine if they have testicular cancer, but Dr. Reyes recommends that you check out your family jewels when you are taking a shower.
Robert Paul ReyesEvil Kid, 9, Steals Parents' Savings, Buys $4,000 Worth Of Candy! - On the bright side the boy shared his candy with his friends, but if I were the dad I still would have beat the hell out of him.
Robert Paul ReyesMail Carrier Mistakes Corpse On Porch For Halloween Decoration! You Buy His Story? - My condolences to the Porch family, but don`t take out your grief on the mailman, he did nothing wrong.
Robert Paul ReyesStudy: Folks Who Live Close To A Bar Drink More! Ya Think? - At least this time it wasn`t American taxpayer money that funded research to validate the obvious.
Robert Paul ReyesPriest, 85, Rappels Down Side Of Cathedral To Challenge Negative Stereotypes Of Seniors - Rappelling down the side of a 131-foot-tall bell tower will only reinforce negative stereotypes of seniors, only a kook would attempt that feat at the age of 85.
Robert Paul ReyesFirefighters Discover 'Fire' Was Fireplace DVD - The firefighters quickly realized it was only a DVD of a fireplace.
Robert Paul Reyes'Dead Woman' Was Passed Out Drunk Dressed As Pregnant Zombie - The woman`s face was covered in fake blood; it`s easy to understand why she was mistaken for a shooting victim.
Robert Paul ReyesLady Flees In High Heels After Crashing Truck Into The Dayzee Dukes Saloon - A cop said she could be charged with fleeing the scene of an accident. No sh** Sherlock!
Robert Paul ReyesNude Female Shoplifter Arrested At A Big Lots Store - This shoplifter is obviously demented, no shoplifter worth his salt steals from Big Lots, everything they sell is remanufactured.
Robert Paul ReyesThief Hides Grumpy The Gila Monster Under His Shirt - Let`s pray that Grumpy the Gila monster is in grumpy mood, and that he will bite the dastardly dolt who stole him.
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