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World

Cocky Criminals Caught Trying to Carry Off Cops' Cocks

A couple of bird brains broke into barn housing chickens confiscated in a massive raid on upstate cockfighting ring this week and tried to bust the roosters out of the joint - only to find themselves behind bars.

Robert Paul ReyesTopless Alcoholic Babysitter From Hell Found Sleeping In Hotel Parking Lot - This topless babysitter won`t be starring in any adult movie, but you are liable to see her lying half-naked in a gutter.
Robert Paul ReyesEnglish Town Of Shitterton Takes A Lot Of Crap For Its Unique Name - To make matters worse, Shitterton lies in the Piddle Valley. England is a miserable place, with the fog and the never-ending rain, but it doesn't deserve such wretched names for its cities and villages.
Robert Paul ReyesLawyer, 76, Dumps Judge Girlfriend, 55, To Shack Up With Paralegal, 25 - I hope the paralegal doesn't have a young daughter; she may be the next one this old Romeo hits on.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Inflitrates Classical Music Station, Changes Playlist To Rap - Davis should face the music, that is to say his punishment should be to listen to classical music for 24 straight hours.
Robert Paul ReyesTeen Tells Cop: Her Booty Looked So Good, Couldn't Resist Touching It - Aaron Morris, 18, is treating this despicable act as a joke; he doesn`t seem to realize the gravity of violating a woman in this crude manner.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Find Naked Dude In School: Claims He Thought He Was In A Motel - There is no truth to the rumor that the naked guy was Tim Pawlenty, on a bender because Mitt Romney didn`t select him as his running mate.
Robert Paul ReyesRoadkill Raccoon Becomes Internet Sensation - Do I need to post a pic of me eating a dead raccoon sandwich on Facebook to become famous?
Robert Paul ReyesHot Lady Attacks Boyfriend With Pink Stripper Pole & Hot Cooking Oil - Sarah is a very attractive woman, and her heart seems to be in the right place, every woman should keep a pink steel stripper pole in her home to entertain her man.
Judyth Piazza CEO (Editor)Horny Bull Mounts Hapless Man in Arkansas - A bull in Arkansas was looking for love in all the wrong places when it 'tried to mate' with a Good Samaritan who was trying to lead the amorous creature to pasture.
Robert Paul ReyesScandal In Seattle: Tourist Complains That Bathroom Stall Doors Are Too Low - It wasn`t an NBA basketball player who complained that the bathroom doors are too low, it was Shahrukh Pestoni, a 5-foot-7 tourist from Toronto.
Robert Paul ReyesBoob Posts Video On YouTube Begging For Money For Boob Job - Lane looked perfectly fine before her plastic surgery; she didn't need bigger boobs, just more self-esteem.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Waits On Hold For 15 Hours To Confirm His Flight With Qantas - Kahn your mission is accomplished: The world knows not to book a flight on Qantas, but they also know that your elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
Robert Paul ReyesRepentant Burglar Returns Loot, Along With Letter Of Apology - Times are hard and we all make mistakes; there but for the grace of God go I.
Robert Paul ReyesPolice Officer Delivers Baby, Mom Didn't Know She Was Pregnant - If a woman who had no idea she was pregnant goes into labor, she needs to call Jenny Craig before she calls 911.
Robert Paul ReyesEngland: Zombie Takes A Bite Out Of Leather Bus Seat - A bus is a perfect place for a zombie to hang out; he fits in with the homeless, thugs, mashers, and other weirdoes who rely on public transportation.
Robert Paul ReyesMan Put Screaming Daughter In Trunk Of Car In Front Of Witnesses - Nguyen was arrested on child abuse charges, his daughter should be permanently taken away from him.
Robert Paul ReyesDumb Criminal Identified By Tattoo On His Forehead - The police found Jesus cowering in an alley, he had his victim's business checks in his possession. This sorry excuse for a human being was charged with a felony count of armed robbery.
Robert Paul ReyesLady, 89, Scares Away Burglars With Gun! - When the cowardly burglars saw the old woman with her gun pointing at them, they took off running like schoolgirls who had just witnessed Mike Tyson eating Justin Bieber's ear.
Robert Paul ReyesBurglar Hits Homeowner Upside His Head With Toilet Bowl Lid - Maybe getting conked on the head with a toilet bowl lid knocked some sense into the homeowner, and he will buy a firearm post haste.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Spots Man Riding His $1,500 Stolen Trek 7500 Bicycle - Joseph Joseph should change his name to "Moron Moron", he confessed to buying stolen property which is a crime.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Leaves Boring Party, Gets Lost In The Woods, & Is Terrorized By Bear - Moral of this story: When you go to Sweden stay away from bears and the people as well. In fact, forget about taking your vacation in Sweden.
Robert Paul ReyesGentlemen Horrified By Women Exposing Wrinkled Cleavage - Guys witness lots of horrible things in their lifetimes, we shouldn't be needlessly subjected to the spectacle of a middle-aged lady wearing a low-cut dress that exposes her wrinkled breasts.
Robert Paul ReyesRedneck Dad Shoots Son: Ashamed Of His Singing At Karaoke Hoedown - Ollie Sr. is 70-freaking-years-old, he should learn to chill out; I hope his son plays the song they were arguing over at his funeral.
Robert Paul ReyesNightmare In Tulsa: Library Infested With Bedbugs - The Internet is making libraries obsolete and permissive librarians are speeding up the process by allowing anyone to enter.
Robert Paul ReyesStop The Insanity: Shoplifting Boob Flees Store Topless! - The saddest aspect of this story is that apparently this oxygen thief has a baby, it's almost pre-ordained that her offspring will be a criminal
Robert Paul ReyesFelon Tests Gun, Blows Away His Nuts To Kingdom Come! - A wag asked the pertinent question: Will this moron be sent to a women's prison?
Robert Paul ReyesAre Homeowner's Associations Communist Or Satanic? - I'm certain that there's a homeowner's association in every zone in hell: A homeowner's association devil will fine you or gouge your eyes out if you don't keep your home appropriately hot.
Robert Paul ReyesStop The Insanity! Dude Paints Grass To Keep It Green! - Tim can do whatever he wants, but Mandy and I prefer natural grass even if it gets a little bit brown during dry periods.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Goes Zombie On His Old Lady Because She Broke His Beloved Bong! - The herb lover denied the allegations, but the Man still arrested him and charged him with domestic battery.
Robert Paul ReyesStop The Insanity! Neighbors Fight Over Fake Gonads - I've heard of neighbors fighting our property lines, loud music and barking dogs, but this is just nuts.
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Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World audio podcast.
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