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Will Says...

Old Ladies Crazy About Old Cowboy Who Rides a Robotic Horse

But I have to tip my hat to the Crazy Cranford Cowboy, a crazy old coot who tools around town atop a robotic horse is a pimp in my book.

Robert Paul ReyesLady Stabs Her Man With A Sea Shell Four Times! - This dude will be the laughingstock of his neighborhood for years to come.
Robert Paul ReyesMan Sues Physicians For Chopping Off His Manhood! Ouch! - Milla should have opted for Cialis, one of the side effects of this drug is a four-hour erection. I`d rather "suffer" a four-hour erection, than have my manhood cut off.
Robert Paul ReyesTeen Finds A Finger In An Arby's Sandwich! - The couple has already obtained a lawyer, and you can be sure they won`t just give Arby`s the finger and walk away.
Robert Paul ReyesInsanity: Old Man Falls Down A Ravine Chasing A Giant Snake! - A normal red-blooded American male will run away crying like a schoolgirl when he sees a giant snake.
Robert Paul ReyesAustralian School Official Hands Out Provocatively Shaped Candies To Children - The school official who handed out the provocatively shaped candies has resigned; I hope he is charged with contributing to the delinquency of children.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Arrest Naked Unicyclist - I often complain about my regular 9 to 5 job, but at least my job description doesn`t read: May have to arrest naked unicyclist.
Robert Paul ReyesFake Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officer Tries To Steal ATM! - When the fake Mountie and his cohort realized that the ATM was bolted to the floor, they left in frustration. Did the morons think that the ATM would be on rollers?
Robert Paul ReyesNon-Story Of The Week: Motorcyclist Flees Cops Until He Runs Out Of Gas! - This UPI article has all the ingredients for a thrilling story, except a fiery climax.
Robert Paul ReyesSwedish Ladies Live In Fear Of Flatulence During Intimate Moments - It is not a dude`s stomach but another part of his anatomy that dictates whether or not he will engage in sex.
Robert Paul ReyesMiracle Of Birth Takes Place In A Restaurant - The restaurant should name a sandwich or at least an appetizer after baby Azauria.
Robert Paul ReyesSome Folks See Naked Woman On Face Of New Plastic Canadian $20 Bill - I wouldn't complain if they introduced a dollar bill with a picture of a naked woman, it would be an improvement of images of dead white guys.
Ron G AnselmFailed Attempt to Rob a London Liquor Stores Leaves Knife-Wielding Underwear Man Exposed - A London man by the name of Tazviona Maluge Bhebe or should we even use the term `man` maybe replace it with moron decided he was a little down on his luck and short on cash decided to...
Robert Paul ReyesDude Loses Control Of Motorized Bar Stool! - James' wife should remove the engine from the bar stool, and nail the bar stool to the floor.
Robert Paul ReyesShoplifter Waves Samurai Sword At Security Guard - A samurai sword is a very intimidating weapon, and brandishing the sword will stop a security guard dead in his tracks.
Robert Paul ReyesRedneck Couple Gets Married At The Hog Waller Mud Bog & ATV Mud Pit - Kodie and Carina are good stewards of their finances, the typical couple who spends around $25,000 for a wedding are morons.
Robert Paul ReyesLady Finds Grasshopper In 'President's Choice' Can Of Beans! Obama Would Have Dumped Beans And Eaten Grasshopper! - At least the can of beans was properly labeled "President`s Choice", in his memoir President Barack Obama admitted that as a child in Indonesia he ate grasshoppers, dogs and snakes.
Robert Paul ReyesMan Sues BMW: Riding Bike Gave Him 20-Month Erection! Hard Case For Judge To Solve! - At first blush a 20-months and counting erection might seem like a good thing, but the man finds it very hard to deal with his condition.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Buys Weed Online From Guy He Met Playing At XboxLive.Com - I might trust buying weed from a physics professor I met at a String Theory chat room, but I wouldn't purchase jack from some dude in a video playing site.
Robert Paul ReyesPolish Rapper's Sculpture Is Real Crappy - I know this article is kind of crappy, but you can't expect Pulitzer-worthy material every day.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Files Complaint With Police: Flight Attendant Woke Me Up By Tapping My Knee - Did he expect the flight attendant to gently wake him up with a song: Wake up my sweet baby, we are at the gate. Open your sweet little eyes, you don't want to be late.
Robert Paul ReyesMan Faces 5 Years For Stealing Cup Of Soda From McDonald's! He Ain't Loving It! - Three strikes, and you're out! Due to previous petty theft convictions, this joker was charged with a felony instead of a petty theft charge.
Robert Paul ReyesFoolish Woman Loses Wedding Ring Worth $55,825 - I don't feel this woman's pain, when your wedding ring costs a small fortune, you don't take it off your finger -- period!
Robert Paul ReyesDude Steals Gas From Police Cruiser, Posts Pic Of Crime On Facebook - Baker claims the incident was supposed to be a joke, but the police aren`t laughing, they had to outfit all their cruisers with locking gas caps.
Robert Paul Reyes92-Year-Old Man Still Working For US Postal Service - Cook is a good symbol for the US Postal Service: A man who is as old as dirt, but still works hard at a useless job.
Robert Paul ReyesHow Do You Get Rid Of Six Frozen Cows Stuck In Cabin? Oprah Knows! - Drop Rosie O`Donnell, Oprah Winfrey, Sally Sruthhers, Nicky Minaj, and Jessica Simpson to the cabin, give them knives, forks and bibs and let them have a go at those cows.
Robert Paul ReyesCanadian Female Cop Gets The Finger, Literally - Cops, especially those handing out speeding tickets, are used to getting the finger, but this police woman really got the finger.
Robert Paul ReyesBig Broad Named Fellony Booked On A Felony After Bloody Bar Brawl - Fellony has too many felonies on her record; she should never be released from prison.
Robert Paul ReyesBeautiful Lady Arrested For Stealing Car And Pooping On Side Of Road - I would make an awful cop, Melissa is so drop-dead gorgeous that if I found her in such a comprising situation, I would get her some toilet paper and wish her Godspeed.
Robert Paul ReyesDumbbell Drops Dumbbell On Bullet, Dings Self - It's more plausible that this man was working out with the lonely widow next door, and when his wife found out she shot him and hid the gun.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Armed With Toilet Plunger Tries To Rob A New York Bank - The hapless robber should be sentenced to three months of community service cleaning toilets in a retirement home or a hospital.
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