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Will Says...

Old Ladies Crazy About Old Cowboy Who Rides a Robotic Horse

But I have to tip my hat to the Crazy Cranford Cowboy, a crazy old coot who tools around town atop a robotic horse is a pimp in my book.

Robert Paul ReyesOne- Legged Dude Hid Cocaine In His Behind, Couldn't Outrun Cops - Wyman is intelligent and resourceful, he hid his cocaine in the crack of his behind, knowing full well that cops will think twice before searching a big fat ugly man's nether regions.
Robert Paul ReyesEx-Mayor Steals Gigantic Mixer To Mix Pizza Dough For Party At His House - I doubt if Guidi would be elected dogcatcher of Hawthorne at this point.
Robert Paul ReyesTheft Of Frozen Fetus Leads To Gang Fight Of Epic Proportions - The gang bangers were members of the notorious Black Power Gang, they would seem more frightening if they called themselves The Frozen Fetus Gang.
Robert Paul ReyesCorpse Sits Among Gamers In Internet Cafe: Nobody Notices Or Cares! - A dude playing a video game looks like a dead man, as he sits mesmerized before the video screen with only his fingers moving at warp speed.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Collar Naked Kentucky Hillbilly Burglar Covered In Peanut Butter & Chocolate - Chocolate and peanut butter go great together, but I'm thinking more in the lines of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup; I may never eat my favorite candy again.
Robert Paul ReyesMadness In LA: 'Catwoman' Clobbers 'Jack Sparrow' - I'm not surprised Catwoman got the best of Jack Sparrow, Cinderella would probably be able to beat the daylights out of the fey pirate.
Robert Paul ReyesMom Had 13 Baggies Of Coke, 22 Ecstasy Pills, 48 Xanax Pills And 1 Toddler In Car - Maybe she will turn over a new leaf behind bars, keep her eyes open, and learn to be a good mother. And maybe pigs will fly out of her behind, while she's passed on drugs with her eyes closed.
Robert Paul ReyesCrazy Old Coot Moves Ambulance: It Was Blocking His Vehicle - We all know a grumpy old man like Melamed, you know the old coot who yells at the kids to get off his lawn, and leaves junk on the street in front of his house so nobody can park there.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Spots His Girlfriend's Stolen Car While Riding A Bus - The thieves said that the stolen car was unlocked, and the keys were inside. They mght as well have left a few bucks inside the car to help out the thieves with gas money.
Robert Paul ReyesShould Eating Be Banned In New York City Subways? - There are yahoos who eat fried chicken and fries and leave the bones on the subway floor, splatter ketchup all over the place, clean their greasy hands on the seats, and let out a loud fart for good measure.
Robert Paul ReyesWaterless Urinals In High School Spring Leaks (Not Water) - There is a special place in hell reserved for environmentalists who come up with environmentally-safe contraptions that don't work and make our lives miserable.
Robert Paul ReyesBoxes Of Moonshine Leads To Evacuation Of Florida Post Office - We are a nation of wimps, a dozen cowards stand around the box, before somebody finally decides to examine the contents.
Robert Paul ReyesThief Snatched Purse From Victim When She Was In Toilet - She should have clutched her purse with one hand, and wiped her bottom with the other.
Robert Paul ReyesTeen Florida Girl Calls 911 On Her Mom For Having Loud Sex - The dude was probably so traumatized by having his lovemaking interrupted by the cops, that he may never see the woman again.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Old Man Kicked Out Of English Pub For Speaking In German - The old guy makes a good point; it's not as if he was plotting something. At his advanced age the only thing he would plot, is the quickest route to the restroom.
Robert Paul ReyesFat Convict Sues: Forced To Wear Same Set Of Sweaty Sweats For 8 Months - If Diaz commits anothe crime, I hope he's sentenced to jail and a couple of months in a fat farm.
Robert Paul ReyesSchool Board: High School Can't Be Known As 'The Cougars'! Name Too Racy - What would be wrong anyway with a high school named after women who are on the prowl for much younger men? Cougars (the human ones) deserve respect like any other minority.
Robert Paul ReyesTwo Escapees Take Car For Test Drive, And Don't Come Back - Were the men wearing matching orange jumpsuits, and the salesmen thought they were just making a unique fashion statement?
Robert Paul ReyesMoron Fires Gun At Busy Bubbles Laundromat's Change Machine - Ever hear of a crowbar?
Robert Paul ReyesWorld Gone Crazy! Lady Offers Sex For McDonald's Chicken McNuggets - Any woman who pulls a stunt like this is more likely to look like Rosie O'Donnell than Angelina Jolie.
Robert Paul ReyesYou Won't Believe This Lady's Rare Medical Condition - I commend Hazel (doesn`t sound like a name of a woman with such an exotic medical condition) for celebrating her difference, you go girl!
Dr. Annabelle R. CharbitTen Ways to Spot a Sociopath (aka con-artist) on Your First Date - With Valentine Day around the corner, most of us are thinking about love and romance. But whilst we all desire to fall in love, no one wants to fall prey to a sociopath.
Robert Paul ReyesDude With Weird Name (Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop) Arrested - Who knows what inspired him to change his name, maybe he was high on drugs or it could be he saw Rosie O'Donnell in a string bikini.
Robert Paul ReyesMorons Steal Beer, Return To Ask For Surveillance Tape, Busted By Cops! - These intellectually-challenged misfits will never enjoy champagne dreams, they are destined to have beer in the fridge, and a broken-down car in the driveway.
Robert Paul ReyesJudge Finds Hapless Felon Not Guilty Of Shooting Himself Twice In His Manhood - I'm not disappointed by the judge's ruling, this dude has suffered enough already.. Lockett doesn't have much of a brain, and he's blown away his genitals to Kingdom Come.
Robert Paul ReyesJapanese Twits Shut Down Twitter By Setting Record For Most Tweets Per Second - The Japanese twits sent a record 16, 197 tweets per second after midnight on New Year's Day.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Not Amused By Couple's Naked Drive-Through Stunt At McDonald's - I wonder what the drive-through clerk said to them: Do you want fries with that, or a towel?
Robert Paul ReyesBusted: DUI Suspect Had Receipt For $140 Bar Tab In His Pocket! - Alcoholics don't just lie to police, they also lie to their friends and family, even when it's obvious they have a problem.
Robert Paul ReyesDog Barks, Dude Shoots Himself With Gun Under Pillow - Ebberts shot himself in the left forearm with a .410 shotshell. He was taken to a hospital by ambulance for treatment. I
Robert Paul ReyesSwedish Woman Finds Her Lost Wedding Ring After 16 Years - Lena's ring will have to be re-sized, because in the last few years her finger has grown larger. Let's hope that the love that these lovebirds share has also grown larger.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World audio podcast.
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