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Will Says...

Old Ladies Crazy About Old Cowboy Who Rides a Robotic Horse

But I have to tip my hat to the Crazy Cranford Cowboy, a crazy old coot who tools around town atop a robotic horse is a pimp in my book.

Robert Paul ReyesObese Man Gets Time Off Jail Sentence For Losing Weight - McCovery was released in time for Thanksgiving -- bad move by the correctional authorities. It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a fitness guru to figure out that McCovery is going to gain back those 25 pounds over the holiday.
Robert Paul ReyesCreepy Criminal Steals Cute Bunny From Church Daycare Center - If there is a hell Benner will be locked away for all eternity in a cage with a giant demon rabbit who has a fetish of pulling eyelashes and pulling teeth.
Robert Paul ReyesWoman Beats Sister To Bloody Pulp: Mad She Used Her Bread To Make Toast - Upon witnessing her sister making toast with her bread, Maria went bonkers. She struck her younger sibling upside the head with a cooking pot, pulled her hair and for good measure slammed her head into the ground.
Robert Paul ReyesSmiley Face Oyster Will Be Family's Guest Of Honor At Their Thanksgiving Meal - Eva has been keeping the oyster in a bowl of water in the fridge, and she plans on making him the guest of honor for the Thanksgiving meal.
Robert Paul Reyes64 Drivers Cited For Failing To Yield To Cop Dressed As A Turkey! - Getting a ticket from a police officer is a humiliating experience; I can only imagine how embarrassing it is to be issued a traffic citation by a cop in a turkey costume.
Robert Paul ReyesBurglar Left Himself Logged Into Facebook On Victim's Computer! Oxygen Thief! - After been forced to leave his car behind at White's house Trevor should have realized that he can't pull off a successful caper with the rotting cabbage that he calls his brain.
Robert Paul ReyesMadness Down Under: Aussie Pooch Drives A Mobile Home - In the Land Down Under it's not unusual for a Dingo to steal a baby, a man to wrestle a crocodile, or a kangaroo to go bonkers in a supermarket.
Robert Paul ReyesMan Gets 80 Years For Using Fake Cash To Buy Hot Dog At A Movie Theatre - I can't afford to buy a hot dog at a movie theatre, printing money to be able to afford taking your family to the movies is not so nuts.
Robert Paul ReyesDrunk Dude In Porsche Chases Two Ladies Of Dubious Virtue In Pink Hummer - I don't know what's the most deplorable aspect of this incident! A drunk man getting behind the wheel of a Porsche? The two women stealing a drunk guy's money? Or painting a Hummer pink?
Robert Paul Reyes'Santa Claus Burglar' Stuck In Chimney - This burglar may have been trying to emulate Santa Claus, but he was planning on taking stuff instead of leaving gifts behind.
Robert Paul ReyesSometimes Good Things Happen: Thief Run Over By Her Partner In Crime - Karma bit the lady in her rear end, I'm just sorry the getaway driver wasn't behind the wheel of a Mack truck.
Robert Paul ReyesLady Upset McDonald's Switched To Breakfast Menu, Beats Up Boyfriend - The young woman with discriminating tastes in fine cuisine was charged with disorderly conduct.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Runs Out Of Toilet Paper, Goes Bonkers Trashes Hotel Room - The next time MacDonald checks into a hotel room, I pray that the maid won't forget to put a mint on his pillow. God only knows what he might do in retaliation.
Robert Paul ReyesNot A Chick Magnet: 'Neo' Motorcycle Runs On Sewage And Is Part Toilet - Only a nerd would be flush with pride riding this crappy bike.
Robert Paul ReyesLove Story: Dude Wades Through Dump To Find Wife's Expensive Ring - This incident is a beautiful example of what a man will do for the good woman he loves.
Robert Paul Reyes18-Year-Old Arrested: Mom Calls Cops When She Finds Pot In His Room - Mom did the right thing by calling The Man to remove the marijuana plants form her son's bedroom. While the son is in jail, she should put all his belongings out on the street, change the locks, and let him fend for himself.
Robert Paul ReyesBaba Suwe, Famous Nigerian Comic, Suspected Of Smuggling Cocaine In His Stomach - Babatunde Omidina, better known by his stage name Baba Suwe, was arrested at the Lagos Airport when an airport scanner discovered what appeared to be bags of cocaine in his stomach.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Armed Robbers Snatch 13-Year-Old Boy's Meatball Sandwich - Police found the uneaten sandwich in the suspect's vehicle. These dimwits will spend years behind bars over a stolen sandwich, which they didn't even get a chance to eat.
Robert Paul ReyesOMG! Lady In Labor Passes Driving Test! - I'm not too surprised Emma took the test in her condition, women are excellent at multitasking. Emma was probably dealing with contractions, taking the driving test and playing Farmville on her Smartphone.
Robert Paul ReyesVideo: Gentleman, 80, Falls into Sinkhole Outside His Home - The last thing a senior citizen wants is to walk outside his front door to pick up his newspaper, and fall into a sinkhole.
Robert Paul ReyesTwo Teen Girls Go Joyriding In Shopping Cart, End Up Stuck, Call Cops! - Joyriding in a shopping cart? That's just wrong, really really wrong!
Robert Paul ReyesDunce Waits 2 Months To Get Permission To Kill Pesky Squirrel - It's mind boggling that a bureaucracy has taken two months to decide the weighty issue of whether a resident can kill a mischievous squirrel.
Robert Paul ReyesYikes! Homeless Dude Severs His Arm With Home-Made Guillotine - An individual this mentally unstable is capable of hurting not only himself, but others as well. Thank goodness that with only one arm it will be difficult for this unfortunate soul to hurt anyone.
Robert Paul ReyesHapless Couple Lost In Apple Orchard, Calls 911! - Who the hell picks apples in an apple orchard, other than hobos and hillbillies?
Robert Paul ReyesDude Firebombs Taco Bell: Outraged Chalupa Didn't Have Enough Meat - Taco Bell has been accused of allegedly fixing tacos that contained only 30 percent real meat, even if his chalupas weighed a pound each he'd be lucky if they contained an ounce of real meat.
Robert Paul Reyes'Spider-Man' Tries To Hold Up Convenience Store! Clerks Beat Him Silly! - Donning the Spider-Man mask probably made Foughty feel a little bit heroic, but he sure didn't feel like a super hero after the two clerks were done teaching him a lesson.
Robert Paul ReyesOld Woman Loves Sliders So Much She Makes White Castle Hall Of Fame - Constance celebrated by eating one slider; I guess at her age a tiny White Castle slider is as big as a Burger King Big Whopper.
Donna CavanaghCheater Spells Trouble for Scrabble Tournament - The World Championship of Scrabble was rocked by scandal recently. What made the news was not the cheating itself, but the request from a contestant playing in the match.
Robert Paul Reyes70-Year-Old Dude Leads Expedition To Find Bigfoot - Greene said that the monster doesn't have a neck, maybe it was Rosie O'Donnell munching berries in the forest!
Robert Paul ReyesCatapulting Pumpkins: Clean Manly Fun! - Men are little boys at heart, and I'm sure I'm not the only dude who would love to wreak havoc by catapulting pumpkins.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World audio podcast.
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