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Will Says...

Old Ladies Crazy About Old Cowboy Who Rides a Robotic Horse

But I have to tip my hat to the Crazy Cranford Cowboy, a crazy old coot who tools around town atop a robotic horse is a pimp in my book.

Robert Paul ReyesBig Bloomers Co. Makes Panties For 600-Pound Women - A British company known for making the world's largest panties announced the new 'super-super size' range, for women with waistlines up to 105 inches.
Robert Paul ReyesGhana To Ban Sales Of Second-Hand Undies - Ghana plans to enforce a ban on the sale of second-hand underwear beginning in February, an official said on Monday, citing the health risks involved in the hawking of the garments by street vendors.
Robert Paul ReyesBurglar Bakes Brownies, Surfs Net, And Leaves - A burglar invaded a house in Florida while the owners were away for Thanksgiving, baked brownies and used a computer to look at porn sites, police said.
Robert Paul ReyesRobber And Accomplice Flashing Her Boobs Rob Gas Station - Police in Missouri said a man who allegedly used a female accomplice's breasts to distract clerks during a robbery was arrested after returning to the scene.
Robert Paul ReyesLady, 100, Enrolled At A Community College! You Go Myrtle! - A Maryland woman who marked her 100th birthday says she intends to continue taking classes at the local community college.
Robert Paul ReyesGerman Dude Seeks To Repossess His Ex-Girlfriend's Fake Boobs - A German woman who splashed out on breast implants with a loan from her then boyfriend now fears her assets could be re-possessed after she failed to fully reimburse him, the 20-year-old woman told Bild newspaper.
Robert Paul ReyesDuck Farmer To Cop: Marijuana Was For The Ducks - A French duck farmer who claims cannabis is an effective de-wormer was fined $669 and given a suspended jail sentence for possession of the plant.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Calls Cops To Lodge Complaint Against Prostitutes! Wanted Money Back! - The next time Ryan McNames wants to lodge a consumer complaint, he'll know better than to call the Columbia Police Department.
Robert Paul ReyesCanadian Industrial Minister's Slip Of The Tongue: We Need More Sex Stories - A small but significant slip of the tongue had Canada's industry minister pleading for 'more Canadian sex stories' on Monday, although he quickly insisted he was actually talking about success.
Robert Paul ReyesPolice Officers Arrest Dudes For Playing Chess In Park - Seven New York men said they were issued desk-appearance tickets for playing chess in an area of a park designated for kids.
Robert Paul ReyesCoffee Shop Offering Porn In A Cup: 10 Shots Of Espresso In A Cup - A New York coffee shop is offering a 20-ounce beverage with 10 shots of espresso billed as 'coffee porn in a cup.'
Robert Paul ReyesFlorida Prisoner Accusing Sheriff Of Torture By Repeatedly Playing Same Movies - A Florida jail inmate awaiting trial is accusing the sheriff of "torture" by repeatedly showing the same movies.
Robert Paul ReyesCreep Gets Life Sentence For Scaring Old Lady To Death - A bank robbery suspect whom authorities accused of scaring an elderly woman to death after hiding in her home has been sentenced to life in prison.
Robert Paul ReyesGiant Pink Plastic Snails Take Over Miami - Gigantic pink plastic snails -- some up to 8 feet tall -- will begin appearing in public places in Miami with an environmental message, their creators say.
Robert Paul ReyesA Tale About A Lawn Mower, Two Drunk Guys, And A Dude Who Ate His Beard - A Kentucky man says when the dust settled after a drunken fight, he was spitting out chunks of his own beard.
Robert Paul ReyesWould You Dine At A Pitch-Black Restaurant Staffed By Blind Waiters? - At Dans le Noir? New York, blind waiters will serve French cuisine in a windowless space with no light.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Gets Shot In His Groin, Finishes Sandwich, Then Seeks Treatment - Connecticut police said a man who heard gunshots while exiting a deli went home and ate his sandwich before seeking treatment for shots to the groin and thigh.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Who Robbed Delivery Driver Arrested After Visiting The Restaurant - Police in Massachusetts said a man who robbed a delivery driver was arrested after apparently gaining a taste for the food and visiting the restaurant.
Robert Paul ReyesHappy Father-To-Be Celebrates By Smoking A Joint, In The Hospital! - A Pennsylvania man celebrated his baby's birth by lighting up a joint in the hospital smoking area, police said.
Robert Paul ReyesGoldfish Will Protect World Leaders At G20 Summit - In addition to thousands of heavily-armed police and troops, six goldfish will put their lives on the line to safeguard world leaders at this week's G20 summit in the South Korean capital.
Robert Paul ReyesCharming Young Lady Flashes Cop To Avoid Trouble - Heather Angel Fiore, 31, was charged under a Fort Pierce city ordinance against indecent exposure Saturday night after an officer reported she lifted her shirt to flash a breast at him.
Robert Paul ReyesMom Kills 10-Day-Old Baby In Washing Machine - A mother of three suspected of using crystal meth was charged with second-degree manslaughter after police found her 10-day-old baby dead inside a washing machine.
Robert Paul ReyesIs Your Laptop Damaging Your Family Jewels? - LAPTOP computers really should not be kept in our laps as they may have something to do with male infertility, research has found.
Robert Paul ReyesSaggy Pants Bank Robber Trips And Drops Bag Of Money - The FBI said an Ohio bank robber was slowed by his saggy pants and prevented from stealing money by an exploding dye pack.
Robert Paul ReyesCourt Rules: Girl, 4, Can Be Sued For Running Over Old Lady With Bike - A girl can be sued over accusations she ran over an elderly woman with her training bicycle when she was 4 years old, a New York Supreme Court justice has ruled.
Robert Paul ReyesMiracle: Baby Survives 7-Floor Fall Without A Scratch! - An 18-month-old boy survived after falling seven floors and bouncing off a Paris cafe awning into the arms of a passer-by, witnesses said Tuesday.
Robert Paul ReyesCops Throw The Book At Bookworm - Police threw the book at a bad driver for reading while navigating Canada's busiest highway, southwest of Toronto, authorities said Friday.
Robert Paul ReyesGirl Named Boo! Has Google-Friendly And Halloween-Friendly Name - The parents of an 8-year-old New York girl say they named her Boo! because she was due on Halloween.
Robert Paul ReyesPumpkin Roll Causes Many Minor Injuries - Hundreds of Ohio students rolled pumpkins down a hill in the wee hours Thursday morning as part of a tradition stretching back to 1969.
Robert Paul ReyesFool Mistakes A Halloween Decoration For Bloody Human Foot - Police in Kansas called out to investigate a report of a bloody foot hanging from the trunk of a car determined it was a Halloween decoration, authorities said.
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