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Will Says...

Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders Better Not Run for President in 2020

Of the nine candidates officially running in the Democratic presidential primary, only one is a heterosexual white man.

Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Jr.'s Wife Taken to Hospital After Opening Letter Containing White Powder - An envelope with suspicious powder sent to one of President Donald Trumps sons also included a threatening note, senior law enforcement officials told NBC News.
Robert Paul ReyesMichelle Obama's Official Portrait an Abomination! Artist Amy Sherald Deserves to Burn in Hell! - I have trouble coloring within the lines in a coloring book, but I could have rendered a more realistic portrait of Michelle with a painting brush sticking out of my ass.
Robert Paul ReyesOpenly Gay Olympics Figure Skater Adam Rippon Refuses to Meet Anti-Gay Mike Pence - Vice President Mike Pence is the most anti-gay Republican leader, he supports anti-gay conversion therapy, and he declared that resources for a federal HIV/AIDS program should be directed only toward institutions that provide assistance to those seeking to change their sexual behavior.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Panties in a Twist Over Video That Exposed Him as a Bald Freak - The vain moron was livid when the video exposed him as a bald-faced liar and a bald orangutan.
Robert Paul ReyesRedneck Attacks Roommate Over Stale Cap'n Crunch - An Alabama man allegedly beat his roommate after discovering that the victim had failed to properly seal a box of Cap'n Crunch cereal, which had gone stale, police report.
Robert Paul ReyesLike Every Other Dictator Donald Trump Wants a Military Parade - Dictators muzzle the free press, ridicule their political opponents, constrain an independent judiciary, and they love military parades.
Robert Paul ReyesShock Video Proves Donald Trump's Scalp is as Smooth and Bald as Baby's Butt - A video shows the president climbing the stairs to Air Force One last Friday when a sudden gust of wind catches his combover.
Robert Paul ReyesJustin Trudeau is an Embarrassment to Canada, Feminists and Mankind - Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is facing a backlash for correcting a woman who used the term 'mankind'.
Robert Paul ReyesJustin Timberlake's Super Bowl Halftime Show an Abomination! Revoke His Black Pass - Justin Timberlake has embraced a black music genre (R&B) and enjoyed superstardom as a solo artist for almost two decades, but for the life of me I dont understand why hes been given a black pass by the African American community.
Robert Paul ReyesPiers Morgan Blasts BBC For Airing Homophobic Cartoon of Him and Donald Trump - Piers Morgan launched a blistering on the BBC after it aired a homophobic cartoon depicting the British journalist with his nose up President Trump's backside.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Claims Orrin Hatch Said He Was the Greatest President in History - It's no surprise to anyone that President Donald Trump loves to boast about how great he is. But he seemed to take things to a new level on Thursday when he suggested that some people are saying he's the best president in American history. He attributed that extreme bit of praise to Orrin Hatch, the longest-serving Republican senator.
Robert Paul ReyesTrump Boasted His State of the Union Was Most Watched in History! It Wasn't! - President Donald Trump touted the ratings from his State of the Union Thursday morning, tweeting that the numbers were record-breaking. But they actually werent.
Robert Paul ReyesIvanka Trump Tweaks Twitter Bio - Ivanka tweaks Twitter bio to keep things real.
Robert Paul ReyesMusic World Stunned! Ed Sheeran's 'Shape of You' Wins Grammy for Pop Solo Performance - In the most disappointing result in the 60 years of the Grammys, Ed Sheerans Shape of You won the 2018 Grammy Award for pop solo performance.
Robert Paul ReyesHillary Clinton Gives a Shout-out to 'Activist Bitches'! - The former presidential candidate and secretary of state sent out a video message directed to activist bitches supporting bitches, as she put it, via Twitter Friday night
Robert Paul ReyesThe Ten Commandments Rewritten for Donald Trump - Thou shalt not covet thou neighbors wife, but thou will be forgiven if thou grabs her by the pussy.
Robert Paul ReyesWho's the Most Dysfunctional Couple: Bill and Hillary Clinton or Donald and Melania Trump? - Melania Trump won't be attending the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, and some are speculating that her cancellation is a subliminal message to her husband, Donald Trump.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Suzanne Somers Praises Donald Trump to High Heaven - Suzanne Somers is saying it loud and proud ... she's a huge fan of President Trump, and she also believes shes committing career suicide by saying that.
Robert Paul ReyesPorn Star Stormy Daniels Claims Donald Trump is Terrified of Sharks - TOUGH-talking Donald Trump is absolutely terrified of sharks and hopes they all die, according to a porn star he is said to have bedded.
Robert Paul ReyesFranklin Graham Dismisses Donald Trump's Alleged Affair With Porn Star Stormy Daniels - I would argue that Trump could rape a 13-year-old girl in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any support from evangelicals. Evangelicals would claim that the little harlot tempted him, and that he repented anyway immediately after closing his zipper.
Robert Paul ReyesMoundville Country Bumpkins Epic Fight Over Cheesecake - When a hillbilly is brandishing a butcher knife that he used to cut a piece of cheesecake into two portions, common sense dictates that you don't complain that your portion is smaller.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump is a Clown With Tiny Hands Instead of Giant Feet - I may be tilting at windmills but I will never accept Trump as my president, and I will continue to write essays exposing his buffoonery until Congress does the right thing and impeaches the clown.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Had Porn Star Stormy Daniels Spank Him With a Forbes Magazine - To have a porn star spank you may be every guys fantasy, but to have the hoe spank you with a magazine that features your family on the cover is wrong, horribly wrong.
Robert Paul ReyesBritish Supermarket Chain B&M Seeks 'Chicken Nugget Connoisseur' - B&M, one of Britains largest variety store chains, announced on its website that it is seeking a chicken nugget connoisseur to taste-taste the chicken nuggets for its new line of store-brand frozen and fresh foods.
Robert Paul ReyesHappy Birthday Betty White! America Loves You! - Betty has the sweet face of a grandma who welcomes family and strangers to her home with a cookie and warm glass of milk, but who tells naughty jokes with a twinkle in her eye.
Robert Paul ReyesRev. Maurice Watson Denounces Trump's Racist Comments with Red-faced Mike Pence in Pews - White evangelical churches have a long history of not just tolerating racism, but practicing racism, and a racist charlatan like Trump is as welcome as a snake oil televangelist.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump and Melania Trump Are an Affront to the Memory of Martin Luther King Jr. - If Melania really wanted to honor the memory of MLK she would poison her hubbys covfefe.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Must be Removed From Office by Any Means Necessary - After a year of living under the Trump regime I am simply exhausted, Trump is like a category five hurricane that never runs of of steam because it's powered by Satan's infernal farts.
Robert Paul ReyesMerriam-Webster Rebukes Shithole President Donald Trump - There are a dozen reasons why Trump should be impeached, not the least of which is his bigotry and racism.
Robert Paul ReyesShithole President Makes Shithole Racist Statement - We must never accept the fact that Trump is a racist, we most condemn him every time he makes a racist comment. Trumps racist remarks lead to racist policies which leads to violence against people of color.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Opinion feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Opinion audio podcast.
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