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Will Says...

Donald Trump is Like a Divorced Dad Who Lets the Kids Watch Pornhub Videos and Smoke Weed

We come from a broken family, we are a little unsettled. Sometimes you spend the weekend with divorced dad. That feels like fun but then you get sick. That is what America is going through. We are living with divorced dad.

Robert Paul ReyesUnder-attack Pope Francis Calls for 'Silence and Prayer'! Are You Freaking Kidding Me? - Prayers? Really? Are you freaking kidding me? With all due respect to His Holiness, the Pope can stuff his prayers up his ass. What the millions of victims of pedophile priests need are repentance, financial compensation and the prosecution of the reprobate priests, not thoughts and prayers.
Robert Paul ReyesGeorge Bush Gives Michelle Obama Candy and Harmonic Convergence Breaks Out - A hooker can always be counted on to have a condom or two in her hoe bag, and a senior citizen will always have peppermint candy in her purse.
Robert Paul ReyesDoes Mike Pence Resemble a Ken Doll or a Bobblehead Doll? - Mike Pence, with his precision-cut hairstyle, looks like a receptionist at a gay bathhouse. Pence probably prays to Jesus every night that He would make him as penis-less as Ken so he wouldn't be attracted to men.
Robert Paul ReyesFatal Attraction in the Digital Age - A woman (Jacqueline Ades) is accused of breaking into a Paradise Valley home, bathing in the homeowner's bathtub, and sending tens of thousands of disturbing text messages to the man's phone after the pair went on one date.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Aretha Franklin's Outfit Changed Every Day for Public Viewing - Another day, another outfit change for late diva Aretha Franklin.
Robert Paul ReyesRacist Joe Arpaio's Hero is Racist Donald Trump! What a Surprise! - Joe Arpaio, the longtime county sheriff seeking a U.S. Senate seat in Arizona on Tuesday, said during a television interview it took him 75 years to find a hero in his life. That person: Donald Trump.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Vs a Speaker Phone: Video - Trump attempted to put Mexican president Enrique Pena Nieto on speaker phone in front of a group of reporters assembled in the Oval Office. The goal, apparently, was to talk about a new trade agreement between the U.S. and Mexico, but the outcome was an unforgettable clip that will forever be etched in our brains.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Thinks the American Flag Has a Blue Stripe - Donald Trump has been photographed colouring in an American flag wrong.
Robert Paul ReyesAll the President's Men Are Flipping on Donald Trump - Cohen knows where all the bodies are buried, Weisselberg knows where all the money is hidden, and Pecker has all the stories and tapes documenting Trump's numerous affairs locked in his safe. Trump is screwed.
Robert Paul ReyesHours After Manafort and Cohen Blows Trump Supporters Chant 'Lock Her Up' - These morons are enthralled by Trump and the scales will never fall from their eyes, at least not until they die and the Almighty casts these white evangelical fuc*ers to hell.
Robert Paul ReyesMadonna's Godawful Tribute to Aretha Franklin - Who was Madonnas tribute for, anyway?
Robert Paul ReyesSerena Williams Handles a Stupid and Racist Tennis Reporter With Style and Dignity - Even though sports isn't my forte I may write another essay about Williams, but I guarantee I won't ever mention Simons again.
Robert Paul ReyesIn Trump's America Racists Feel Emboldened to Call Blacks the N-word - A white woman was hospitalized following an altercation where she called a group of people the N-word on the X2 Metrobus.
Robert Paul ReyesRemembering Aretha Franklin's Mini-Me Johanna Colon - Hundreds of singers from the divas that top the Billboard charts to cruise ship warblers have cited Aretha Franklin as their inspiration and motivation for becoming entertainers.
Robert Paul ReyesRespect the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin - The Queen of Soul has passed on to the other side, and she's now singing in the heavenly choir, but her music transcended generations and will continue to be enjoyed and appreciated for generations to come.
Robert Paul ReyesTop Ten List of Secret Service Code Names for Mike Pence - Pepe
Robert Paul ReyesIf the Donald Trump 'N-Word' Tape is Released Will it Bring Down His Presidency? - White House Press Secretary is the Queen of Liars, she would proclaim that she's seen the presidential penis and can confirm that it's thicker, longer and stronger than a tactical flashlight, if requested to do so by her pathological liar boss.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump's Base is an Evangelical Cult - Impeach Trump.
Robert Paul ReyesOmarosa Claims Trump Wanted to Get Sworn in on 'The Art of the Deal' Instead of the Bible at his Inauguration - Omarosa convinced her erstwhile reality buddy to follow convention and use the Bible. If Trump had used his memoir or a Penthouse Magazine his fervent white evangelical supporters would still have worshipped him as the Messiah.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Vs the Press: Whose Side Are You On? - At this critical juncture in the history of our democracy, I have made it crystal clear where I stand on this issue. How about you, will you stand with the press, or will you continue to enable an autocratic racist moron?
Robert Paul ReyesMadonna Thinks all Modern Music Sounds the Same - Why does almost every artist, especially in the hip hop genre, feel compelled to include 20 guest artists and a dozen producers in their albums? This insanity makes it almost impossible for a singular voice to rise to the top, and revolutionize the music industry.
Robert Paul ReyesWoman Tells Cops She Shouldn't be Arrested Because She's a Clean White Girl - A 32-year-old Bluffton woman tried to talk police out of arresting her Saturday by telling them she was a very clean, thoroughbred, white girl, a sorority sister and a cheerleader who is dating a cop.
Robert Paul ReyesJoe Arpaio Tells Sacha Baron Cohen He Would Accept Oral Sex From Donald Trump - Sacha Baron Cohen has the easiest gig on television, making fools out of Republican conservatives the likes of Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and Judge Roy Moore.
Robert Paul ReyesFirst Lady Melania Trump Praises LeBron James - First lady Melania Trump praised LeBron James less than a day after President Donald Trump lashed out at the NBA star on Twitter.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Attacks LeBron James on Twitter! - Tweeters erupted in anger after President Donald Trump trashed NBA superstar LeBron James on Friday night.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Doesn't Know England From the UK From a Hole in the Ground - President Donald Trump was schooled on Twitter after making a geography-themed gaffe at a political rally.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Says Americans Need a Photo ID to Go Grocery Shopping! Wanker! - US President Donald Trump has been accused of being out of touch with voters after saying Americans need identification to go shopping.
Robert Paul ReyesTrump Will Be Brought Down by Financial Crimes, Not by a Pee Tape - According to a Quinnipiac University poll published last week, the majority of American voters now believe the President of Russia has compromising information on the President of the United States. In other words, they believe Trump is being blackmailed.
Robert Paul ReyesKevin Durant Says That 'Donald Trump Doesn't Have a Soul'! Amen! - Kevin Durants distaste for President Donald Trump is well documented, and on Wednesday, the Warriors star stated that the president doesn't have a soul.
Robert Paul ReyesJimmy Fallon Raps Donald Trump's Tweets - Jimmy gets help from Tarik Trotter and The Roots to transform Donald Trump's Twitter rants from the week into a recap rap.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Opinion feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Opinion audio podcast.
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