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Space Cadet Donald Trump Orders Creation of Space Command

President Donald Trump ordered the creation of Space Command on Tuesday, a move the administration is labeling a precursor to creating a US Space Force.

Robert Paul ReyesAwkward: Donald Trump Massages Mike Pence's Thigh During Billy Graham Memorial Service - Pence is a devout evangelical and perhaps Trump was only trying to console his Vice President on the death of the evangelical icon, or maybe he was just screwing with him. But one thing is sure: Those were the longest moments in the life of the noted homophobe.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Attempts to Rob 7-Eleven By Pointing Finger at Clerk - Authorities are looking for help identifying a man they say pointed a finger at a 7-Eleven clerk and demanded cash early Wednesday before leaving empty handed.
Robert Paul ReyesJon McNaughton's Painting of Donald Trump is Crap - Jon McNaughton recently unveiled the latest painting in his Americana series, it depicts Donald Trump standing on a football field clutching a shredded, trampled and grass-stained American flag.
Robert Paul ReyesParkland School Shooting: Would Donald Trump Really Have Run In? - US President Donald Trump has said he would have run in to the Florida high school where 17 people were shot dead this month even if he was not armed.
Robert Paul ReyesMike Pence Has a Penchant for Planting Holy Kisses on Donald Trump's Butt - Dictionary.com has absolutely zero tolerance for Mike Pence kissing Donald Trumps ass.
Robert Paul ReyesOprah Winfrey Donald Trump Death Match: Hopefully They Would Kill Each Other - I would pay anything to watch a pay-per-view death match between Winfrey and Trump that resulted in the death of both of these gasbags.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: 288-Pound Woman Runs Marathon - How about finishing a 50-yard dash in under five minutes before tackling a marathon?
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Humiliates Racist Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions Once Again - Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III (a moniker befitting a Southern racist), was a United States Senator from Alabama from 1997 to 2017.
Robert Paul ReyesDid Melania Trump Hire Exorcist to Cleanse White House of Obama and Clinton Demons? - A hoax circulating on Facebook claims that first lady Melania Trump hired a professional exorcist to cleanse the White House of past demons from the Barack Obama and Bill Clinton years.
Robert Paul ReyesBanish Fergie From America for Destroying National Anthem! America Will Never Forgive or Forget! - In 2005, the Black Eyes Peas featuring Fergie were performing Let's Get It Started in San Diego when she got things started by peeing all over herself. There was urine running down her legs and a massive urine stain on her crotch that could be seen by her fans in the nosebleed seats.
Robert Paul ReyesTiny Flying Saucer Rediscovered at London Science Museum After 59 Years - Fragments of a miniature flying saucer from an incident known as the British Roswell have been rediscovered in a cigarette box at London's Science Museum.
Robert Paul Reyes'Thoughts and Prayers' My Ass, We Need to Take Action on Gun Violence - A student from the Florida high school that was the scene of a mass shooting Wednesday called out U.S. President Donald Trump over his offering of prayers and condolences.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump is an Abomination and We Must Get Rid of Him by Any Means Necessary - Donald Trump is a Pathological liar. Serial philanderer. Alleged child rapist. Admitted pussy-grabber. Insecure narcissist. Chicken hawk draft dodger. Twitter troll. Sphincter-face insult king. Bankrupt billionaire. Short-fingered vulgarian. Porn star-chasing pig. Limelight-loving loser.
Robert Paul ReyesNative Americans and All Minorities Despise Elizabeth Warren - Sen. Elizabeth Warren says President Donald Trump disrespects Native Americans by referring to her as Pocahontas, and she says that while shes not enrolled in any tribe, I never used my family tree to get a break or ... advance my career.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Jr.'s Wife Taken to Hospital After Opening Letter Containing White Powder - An envelope with suspicious powder sent to one of President Donald Trumps sons also included a threatening note, senior law enforcement officials told NBC News.
Robert Paul ReyesMichelle Obama's Official Portrait an Abomination! Artist Amy Sherald Deserves to Burn in Hell! - I have trouble coloring within the lines in a coloring book, but I could have rendered a more realistic portrait of Michelle with a painting brush sticking out of my ass.
Robert Paul ReyesOpenly Gay Olympics Figure Skater Adam Rippon Refuses to Meet Anti-Gay Mike Pence - Vice President Mike Pence is the most anti-gay Republican leader, he supports anti-gay conversion therapy, and he declared that resources for a federal HIV/AIDS program should be directed only toward institutions that provide assistance to those seeking to change their sexual behavior.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Panties in a Twist Over Video That Exposed Him as a Bald Freak - The vain moron was livid when the video exposed him as a bald-faced liar and a bald orangutan.
Robert Paul ReyesRedneck Attacks Roommate Over Stale Cap'n Crunch - An Alabama man allegedly beat his roommate after discovering that the victim had failed to properly seal a box of Cap'n Crunch cereal, which had gone stale, police report.
Robert Paul ReyesLike Every Other Dictator Donald Trump Wants a Military Parade - Dictators muzzle the free press, ridicule their political opponents, constrain an independent judiciary, and they love military parades.
Robert Paul ReyesShock Video Proves Donald Trump's Scalp is as Smooth and Bald as Baby's Butt - A video shows the president climbing the stairs to Air Force One last Friday when a sudden gust of wind catches his combover.
Robert Paul ReyesJustin Trudeau is an Embarrassment to Canada, Feminists and Mankind - Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is facing a backlash for correcting a woman who used the term 'mankind'.
Robert Paul ReyesJustin Timberlake's Super Bowl Halftime Show an Abomination! Revoke His Black Pass - Justin Timberlake has embraced a black music genre (R&B) and enjoyed superstardom as a solo artist for almost two decades, but for the life of me I dont understand why hes been given a black pass by the African American community.
Robert Paul ReyesPiers Morgan Blasts BBC For Airing Homophobic Cartoon of Him and Donald Trump - Piers Morgan launched a blistering on the BBC after it aired a homophobic cartoon depicting the British journalist with his nose up President Trump's backside.
Robert Paul ReyesDonald Trump Claims Orrin Hatch Said He Was the Greatest President in History - It's no surprise to anyone that President Donald Trump loves to boast about how great he is. But he seemed to take things to a new level on Thursday when he suggested that some people are saying he's the best president in American history. He attributed that extreme bit of praise to Orrin Hatch, the longest-serving Republican senator.
Robert Paul ReyesTrump Boasted His State of the Union Was Most Watched in History! It Wasn't! - President Donald Trump touted the ratings from his State of the Union Thursday morning, tweeting that the numbers were record-breaking. But they actually werent.
Robert Paul ReyesIvanka Trump Tweaks Twitter Bio - Ivanka tweaks Twitter bio to keep things real.
Robert Paul ReyesMusic World Stunned! Ed Sheeran's 'Shape of You' Wins Grammy for Pop Solo Performance - In the most disappointing result in the 60 years of the Grammys, Ed Sheerans Shape of You won the 2018 Grammy Award for pop solo performance.
Robert Paul ReyesHillary Clinton Gives a Shout-out to 'Activist Bitches'! - The former presidential candidate and secretary of state sent out a video message directed to activist bitches supporting bitches, as she put it, via Twitter Friday night
Robert Paul ReyesThe Ten Commandments Rewritten for Donald Trump - Thou shalt not covet thou neighbors wife, but thou will be forgiven if thou grabs her by the pussy.
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