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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Outrage! $200 Million Suicide-Prevention Net Being Built at Golden Gate Bridge - To desecrate San Francisco's most beloved and well-known landmark, spending $200 million in the process, to save a few wretched souls is the epitome of the pussification of America.

How Should Donald Trump Relieve Stress? - Donald Trump is the Leader of the Free World, the President of the United States, the Commander-in-Chief of the mightiest army in history, but he's the most insecure man in the world.

Epic Encounter Between Red Panda and a Rock Rocks the Internet: Video - This epic encounter between the panda and the rock is a prime example why we love the Internet.

Moron Asks Deputies to Check Home, They Find Marijuana Plants - This joker failed Dealing 101 Rule 1: If you have product in your house, don't call the cops if you fear you've been burglarized.

Dad Kills Son Over Who Would Walk the Dog - A family argument over who would walk the dog turned deadly when a dad shot and killed his son during a wild shootout Sunday in Chicago.

Every Cat is a Therapy Cat - A Cambridge University library has come up with a novel way for students to relieve exam stress - with the help of a friendly ginger cat.

Arkansas Plans Seven Executions in 11 Days!Thank You Jesus! - If every state executed seven death row inmates in 11 days, the crime rate would drop precipitously.

Twitter User Seeks 18 Million Retweets for Free Wendy's Nuggets - Wendy's challenged a Twitter user to accumulate 18 million retweets on a single tweet to earn a year of free chicken nuggets.

Talking to Your Pet is a Sign of Intelligence - I talk to my cats and my dog every day, and I always feel better after after chatting with them, a marked contrast to my social interactions with most people.

Donald Trump Shouldn't Intervene Militarily in Syria - In Syria there are many competing factions, and each one commits atrocities on a regular basis to achieve their objectives. What difference does it make if civilians are butchered by chemical attacks, bombs dropped by fighter jets or car bombs?

Barry Manilow Comes Out as Gay! Top Ten Reactions - Duh!

Chimp at Zoo Throws Poo in Grandma's Face to the Delight of the Crowd: Video - A grandma left a Michigan zoo with an unexpected souvenir after being struck in the face by a ball of poop.

Why Are Black Women Ashamed of Wearing Their Hair Natural? Michelle Obama Rocks the Natural Look! - Michelle Obama looks marvelous in her natural hair.

Adorable Cats Ring Bell to Order Food: Video - Two hungry cats gorged themselves on snacks by ringing a pair of call bells to have their owner produce treats.

White House Releases First Official Portrait of Melania Trump - It is perhaps no surprise that first lady Melania Trump's first official portrait is a glamour shot.

Donald Trump Still Tweeting About Hillary Clinton! Get Over It! You Won! - If the world plunges into a Nuclear Armageddon, the conflagration is going to start in the Middle East or the Korean peninsula, this week Trump should focus on these two international hot spots.

Bone Bone: Latest Adorable Kitty to Go Viral - If youve been skulking around the strange bits of the internet recently, youve probably seen him: a giant, fluffy cat wearing a backpack and clinging to his owner

Donald Trump Mocks Chuck Todd's 'Sleepy Eyes' - Donald Trump is a disgrace.

April Fools' Day Every Day: Donald Trump is President of the United States - Today for April Fools' Day I could post an article alleging that Trump pulled out his tiny penis and challenged Chinese President Xi Jinping to do the same, confident that even he would be more well-endowed than any Asian. Tomorrow a video of Trump and Jinping comparing their tiny pricks might be the most popular video on YouTube.

1 in 3 Voters Give President Trump an 'F' - Orange Clown gets an F

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