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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

America Demands a Mariah Carey Ronda Rousey Pay-per-view Death Match - My money would be on Mariah, her huge butt has major-league buoyancy and it would be difficult, if not impossible, to drown her.

Mariah Carey's Epic New Year Eve's Fail: The Aftermath - The reverberations of Mariah Carey's disastrous New Year's Eve performance didn't end at the stroke of midnight, indeed they are just beginning. Let's just hope that this doesn't mean that the epic horribleness of 2016 is going to linger into 2017.

Mariah Carey's Horrible New Year's Eve Performance! Video! - For the love of God, Mariah don't ever get up on stage again.

My New Year's Wishes for 2017 - Mr. T beats Colin Kaepernick to a bloody pulp.

My Death Wish List for 2017 - The Grim Reaper was busy in 2016 culling the best and brightest from the realms of entertainment, sports and politics. The death of icons like Muhammad Ali, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher and John Glenn left a void in our culture.

Court Ruling: Cop Can Shoot a Dog if it Barks or Moves When He Enters a Home - A police officer can shoot a dog if it barks or moves when the officer enters a home, under a new federal court ruling issued this month.

John Kerry's Forked Tongue: Video - During his anti-Israel speech John Kerry's forked tongue darted in and out of his mouth dozens of times, it was like watching Satan himself delivering a speech.

What Would a Third Obama Term Look Like? - Arguing that Americans still subscribe to his vision of progressive change, President Barack Obama asserted in an interview recently he could have succeeded in this year's election if he was eligible to run.

Joe Biden: Hillary Clinton Lost Because She Had No Vision - Biden is an ass, but sometimes the Almighty speaks through an ass, and Democrats would be well-advised to listen to him.

Outrage: Donald Trump Receives Standing Ovation at Christian Church! Video! - But for Trump to be greeted with a raucous cheers and a standing ovation at a Christian church is an abomination and an affront to the Almighty.

Seal Terrorizes Australian Town on Christmas - An Australian couple woke up Christmas morning to find a fur seal doing its best impression of a hood ornament on their car, but residents of the town say this is not the first time a seal has tried to move in to the neighborhood.

Deconstructing Donald Trump's Christmas Twitter Message - This Christmas tweet from Trump infuriates me, I hope Santa shovels coal up his ass, I pray Jesus smites him with lightning turning his orange face black, and I hope and pray Krampus bites off his disgusting tiny hand.

The Naked Truth About Donald Trump - The naked facts about the Donald.

Abomination: Kilt-wearing Santa Rides a Unicycle: Video - An Oregon man was filmed doing his part to keep Portland weird by dressing up as a Scottish Santa and playing flaming bagpipes while riding a unicycle.

Putin is a Patriot and a Statesman and Obama is a Traitor and a Weakling! - Even a clueless clown like Donald Trump on his worst day will do a better job than Obama on his best day.

Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin: A Love Story for the Ages - In a perfect world Hillary would embrace her lesbian identity and devote the rest of her life, with Huma by her side, advocating for gay and lesbian rights. But in the real world, the old hag will pretend she's heterosexual until the Grim Reaper drags her to hell.

My New Year's Resolutions - Make a determined effort to love people as much as I love animals.

Chinese Truck Driver Covers His Vehicle With His Own Poetry - A Chinese truck driver classed out his work vehicle by covering it in a high-brow form of decoration -- poetry.

Elephant Farts on Friend's Face: Video - Now that's what I call revenge!

Autopsy of Hillary Clinton's Campaign - Trump wasn't the best candidate we have seen, but arguably Hillary was the worst candidate in modern political history.

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