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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Maxi Pad Bandit Caught! - A man was arrested and booked for burglary after surveillance video showed him stealing items from a business while wearing a feminine hygiene product on his face in Apple Valley.

Lena Dunham Leaves Twitter Citing Abuse! Vile Coward! Video! - Comedian Lena Dunham is leaving Twitter following repeated incidents of verbal abuse from other users, the comedian said this week.

Dog Left Alone in Truck Drives it Into Lake - Police say a dog had to be rescued after it drove a pickup truck into a lake in Maine.

Burger King's Black Halloween Whopper an Abomination! - Burger King is taking Halloween too far, only the devil and his minions will buy the evil black Whooper. Burger King made a whopper of a mistake, and there will be hell to pay.

Justice Demands That Georgia Execute Kelly Renee Gissendaner Without Further Delay! - Georgia`s parole board declined Tuesday to commute the death sentence of Kelly Renee Gissendaner, even after Pope Francis called for a halt to her execution.

Tuesday is National Coffee Day! Have Another Cup of Coffee! - Go ahead, have another cup of coffee. This week`s mug runneth over with days devoted to the beverage that wakes up nations and keeps industries humming.

Cat Who Stands Like a Human Being Looks Like a Stoner! - If cats could stand like human beings you`d expect them to look as debonair as Fred Astaire leaning on a walking stick. But take a gander at this Japanese kitty standing like a human being, he looks like a stoner!

Stephanie Moore Arrested for Riding Sea Turtle on Florida Beach - A woman has been arrested for riding a sea turtle in Florida.

Japanese With Only One Finger Abandons Everest Climb - Kuriki lost nine fingers to frostbite in a previous Everest attempt, l hope he still has his middle finger so he can flip the bird at fate and his haters.

'Sexy' Donald Trump Halloween Costume for Sale: Video - Yandy.com is selling a limited-edition outfit called the `Donna T. Rumpshaker,` for $69.95. That price includes a white sleeveless collared shirt, red tie, royal blue faux blazer and matching booty shorts.

Climber With Only One Finger Nears Everest Summit - A man who lost all of his fingers to frostbite is set to be the first climber to scale Mount Everest since the deadly earthquake in April.

NASA's Huge Mars Announcement: Top 5 Possibilities - NASA is tantalizing the world with big Mars news.

Holy Outrage: Rep. Bob Brady Steals the Pope's Glass of Water! - The reprobate congressman carried the glass of water to his office; he took a sip out of it and shared the rest with his wife and staffers. They acted like teenagers sharing a huge blunt that had been blessed by the patron saint of weed, Snoop Dogg.

Did Adorable Little Girl Catch 20-inch Bass With Barbie Fishing Pole? video! - A proud papa shared video of his enthusiastic young daughter reeling in an approximately 20-inch bass with her Barbie fishing pole.

Cat's Death Stare Ends Puppy's Barking: Video - Hail the new King of the Internet: Greyscale!

Janet Jackson Missy Elliot Collaboration BURNITUP! a Wretched Mess: Listen! - Jackson`s style of dance pop and Elliot`s brand of rap are outdated and unlistenable. What the hell are these ladies doing releasing new music?

Should a Professional Stone Skipper Be Stoned to Death? Video! - For a grown man to devote his time to setting records for stone skipping is ludicrous and a sure sign that the End of the World is nigh!

Tractor-pulled Dog Train Big Hit in Fort Worth: Video - Eugene is proof that life doesn`t end at retirement; this kindly old gentleman has devoted his golden years to adopting shelter dogs, and entertaining his neighbors.

Pizzeria's Pontiff Picture Pie Praises Pope: Piety or Profits? - At Bleeker Street Pizza, chefs are now transforming pies into portraits of his holiness.

Puppy Gives Himself a Bath, Towels Off & Takes a Nap: Video - Brady, a 4 month old Golden Retriever, takes daily showers and baths entirely on his own. He climbs into the shower on his own, plays in the water, gets out, dries himself with a towel, and then takes a nap.

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