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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Bruce Jenner the Transgender Woman is a Dead Ringer for Sarah Palin! - Just man up you publicity-obsessed freak!

Uber Offers Kitten Delivery Service for One Day in Australia! Purr-fect Idea! - I commend Uber for thinking outside the litter box, and conceiving this unusual and delightful promotion.

Pope Franics: It's OK for Parents to Smack Children for Bad Behavior! Amen! - Corporal punishment doesn`t need a theological basis; it`s just frigging common sense!

Ferguson Police to Test Non-Lethal Weapon! The World Has Officially Gone Nuts! - Welcome to the madhouse, it`s now politically-incorrect to kill criminals, even when they lunge for an officer`s gun.

Home Movie Shows Chicago Cubs' Wrigley Field in 1930s - A black-and-white home video shot at Wrigley Field in the 1930s shows a crowd of Chicago Cubs fans at a game during the early days stadium`s iconic ivy.

Barber Offers 'Benjamin Button' Old Man Cuts for Misbehaving Brats - If you don`t embarrass your unruly son to correct his evil ways, when he grows up he will embarrass you every time his mug shot appears on the Internet.

Plus-size Ashley Graham Graces Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue -- In an Ad - It`s not just rappers who like "thick" women, many men prefer curvy women. Heroin chic females aren`t my cup of tea; I`ll take a voluptuous Kate Upton over a thin as a rail Kate Moss any day of the week.

Sidney Poitier a Legend, Bill Cosby a Disgrace! - Legendary actor Sidney Poitier is terribly disgusted with embattled comedian Bill Cosby.

Pandas Are Adorable Escape Artists! Video! - A panda cam at China's Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding captured a hungry bear squeezing between iron bars to raid a neighbor's bowl of milk.

Seahawks WR Doug Baldwin Mimics Pooping During Super Bowl Touchdown Celebration - Doug Baldwin is ratchet to the core!

Punxsutawney Phil is a Pimp! - Punxsutawney Phil, the world`s most adorable seasonal prognosticator, saw his shadow on Monday morning, portending six more weeks of winter.

Jimmy Fallon's Epic 'Fresh Prince' Skit! Video! - The most epic video ever?

Chic to Release New Album! Good Times Are Eternal! - Chic is timeless!

Bill Cosby Uses Decoy to Avoid Hecklers and Media: Video - The tour situation for Bill Cosby continued to deteriorate last week, with the embattled comedian reportedly having used a decoy to avoid hecklers and reporters when leaving his Friday show in Sandusky, Ohio.

Horse-Shaped UFO Spotted Hovering Over Volcano: Video - A webcam captured an unidentified flying object resembling a horse hovering near the erupting Colima volcano in Mexico.

Nile Rodgers & Chic Sign New Deal! Good Times Are Here Again? - Freak out! Nile Rodgers and Chic are back, officially.

Trucker Pulls Tooth, Creates Monster Traffic Jam - An Alabama man flipped his tractor trailer after he took his hands from the wheel to pull a loose tooth from his mouth, causing a traffic jam and closure of parts of an interstate for hours.

Giant 'Cow Art' Smiley Face an Abomination! God Help Us! Video! - Smiley faces and drones are ubiquitous and a blight upon our great nation, and a work of art that incorporates smiley faces, drones and cows is destined to be bullcrap!

Weather Map Goes Crazy Live on KSAZ-TV! Cory McCloskey Rocks! Video! - McCloskey of KSAZ-TV rocks!

Dachshund/Pit Bull Mix Goes Viral! Rami Rocks! - There may not be a puppy as unique as Rami at your local animal shelter, but there are dozens of cute puppies waiting for a kind soul to take them home.

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