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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Bacon Rage: Woman Shoots Up Drive-thru Window Over Missing Bacon - A jury today found a Michigan woman guilty of firing a shot into a McDonald`s drive-thru window after employees failed to put bacon on a cheeseburger she ordered.

Driver Spotted With Cat Leashed To Hood: Video - The driver had a smile on her face, seemingly oblivious to the terror her cat was experiencing. Not to mention uncaring that she might have caused a distracted driver to crash.

Michelle Obama's 'Bald Appearance' on Jeopardy Scares Bejesus Out of Viewers - I`m not going to blame the camera angle or lighting for Michelle`s freakish appearance, damn Michelle to hell for scaring the Bejesus out of the American public.

Uncle Dressed in Princess Gown to Take Niece, 4, to 'Cinderella' - Let`s get real what little girl wouldn`t be creeped out by going to see Cinderella with her uncle dressed in drag. Nagby is being hailed as the greatest uncle in the world, but methinks he`s the most clues bastard in the world.

Human Torch Runs 645 Feet While on Fire: Video - An Austrian stunt man ran 645 feet while on fire to break the world record for longest distance run during a full body burn.

USPS Driver Throws Package, Runs Lap Around Van - U.S. Postal Service officials said they have identified a mail carrier caught on camera throwing a valuable package in Oklahoma City.

George Zimmerman Blames Barack Hussein Obama for Stirring Racial Tensions: Video - When asked by his attorney who brought the highest level of unfairness to his case, Zimmerman named the president. Obama said if he had a son, he would look like Trayvon Martin.

Girl, 12, Tried to Kill Her Mom Twice for Taking Away Her iPhone - A 12-year-old girl was accused Friday of trying to poison her mother two different times after the woman took away the girl`s iPhone.

Man Releases Pet Rat to Avoid Paying Restaurant Bill: Video - It`s too bad the UK doesn`t have the death penalty!

Outrage: Small-breasted Gal Gadot to Play Wonder Woman! - Having Gadot play Wonder Woman is an affront to the Almighty, an insult to the legacy of Wonder Woman and an abomination that simply can`t be tolerated.

South American Catfish Named After Star Wars Character 'Greedo': Video - I hope none of my readers has a nightmare about a mermaid that looks like O`Donnell wanting to get jiggy with them.

UFO: Video Depicts Extraterrestrial Being Flying Over Peruvian City! - Holy Flying Alien Being!

Suge Knight Collapses in Courtroom After Bail is Set at $25 million! Tough Guy is a Pussy ...Cat! - Suge is a straight up wimp coward!

World Gone Mad: Children Trudge Through Snow to Hear Pharrell Williams Lecture on Global Warming! - Young children trudging through the latest snow storm to hear a pop singer babble about global warming is a perfect metaphor for global warming hysteria.

Iowa Lawmaker Goes Viral After He's Caught Reading 'Sex After Sixty' On State House Floor - Iowa state Rep. Ross Paustian, R-Walcott, is gaining Internet fame after being photographed on the House floor reading a book titled Sex After Sixty.

Supermoon, Total Eclipse of the Sun, Large Hadron Collider Powering Up, and UFO in Russia: One Crazy Week! - I`m too worried that the Large Hadron Collider will unleash a baby black hole that will swallow the Earth, and I don`t have time for any UFO tomfoolery.

C-SPAN Prank Caller Recites 'Fresh Prince' Theme Song: Video - A C-SPAN caller claiming to have an opinion on Congress` role in Iran negotiations instead paraphrased the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Mr. T to Host Home Renovation Series 'I Pity the Tool' - Each episode of the series will see Mr. T and his team including HGTV Design Star winner and interior designer Tiffany Brooks break down walls and tear out old rooms to give a family a home makeover.

Dog Overjoyed at Seeing Army Dad for First Time in 7 Months: Video - Army Sergeant Paul DiPaolo's family was very excited for him to return home following a seven-month deployment in Afghanistan. Yet, his dog, Simba, may have been the most excited.

Purple UFO Terrorizes Peru: Video - Silver UFOs are a dime a dozen, but a purple flying saucer really takes your breath away.

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