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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Girl, 12, Tried to Kill Her Mom Twice for Taking Away Her iPhone - A 12-year-old girl was accused Friday of trying to poison her mother two different times after the woman took away the girl`s iPhone.

Man Releases Pet Rat to Avoid Paying Restaurant Bill: Video - It`s too bad the UK doesn`t have the death penalty!

Outrage: Small-breasted Gal Gadot to Play Wonder Woman! - Having Gadot play Wonder Woman is an affront to the Almighty, an insult to the legacy of Wonder Woman and an abomination that simply can`t be tolerated.

South American Catfish Named After Star Wars Character 'Greedo': Video - I hope none of my readers has a nightmare about a mermaid that looks like O`Donnell wanting to get jiggy with them.

UFO: Video Depicts Extraterrestrial Being Flying Over Peruvian City! - Holy Flying Alien Being!

Suge Knight Collapses in Courtroom After Bail is Set at $25 million! Tough Guy is a Pussy ...Cat! - Suge is a straight up wimp coward!

World Gone Mad: Children Trudge Through Snow to Hear Pharrell Williams Lecture on Global Warming! - Young children trudging through the latest snow storm to hear a pop singer babble about global warming is a perfect metaphor for global warming hysteria.

Iowa Lawmaker Goes Viral After He's Caught Reading 'Sex After Sixty' On State House Floor - Iowa state Rep. Ross Paustian, R-Walcott, is gaining Internet fame after being photographed on the House floor reading a book titled Sex After Sixty.

Supermoon, Total Eclipse of the Sun, Large Hadron Collider Powering Up, and UFO in Russia: One Crazy Week! - I`m too worried that the Large Hadron Collider will unleash a baby black hole that will swallow the Earth, and I don`t have time for any UFO tomfoolery.

C-SPAN Prank Caller Recites 'Fresh Prince' Theme Song: Video - A C-SPAN caller claiming to have an opinion on Congress` role in Iran negotiations instead paraphrased the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Mr. T to Host Home Renovation Series 'I Pity the Tool' - Each episode of the series will see Mr. T and his team including HGTV Design Star winner and interior designer Tiffany Brooks break down walls and tear out old rooms to give a family a home makeover.

Dog Overjoyed at Seeing Army Dad for First Time in 7 Months: Video - Army Sergeant Paul DiPaolo's family was very excited for him to return home following a seven-month deployment in Afghanistan. Yet, his dog, Simba, may have been the most excited.

Purple UFO Terrorizes Peru: Video - Silver UFOs are a dime a dozen, but a purple flying saucer really takes your breath away.

San Francisco Saint Mary`s Cathedral Drenches Homeless With Water To Keep Them Away - Saint Mary`s Cathedral, the principal church of the Archdiocese of San Francisco, has installed a watering system to keep the homeless from sleeping in the cathedral`s doorways.

Medical Marijuana for Dogs and Cats? - "Legislation introduced in the state Senate (Nevada) on Tuesday would allow pets to use pot under a veterinarian`s supervision.

Satirical Sculpture Depicts Tutu-Wearing Obama Tickling Putin's Private Parts - A leering Barack Obama dressed as a ballerina, complete with leotards and a white tutu, daintily bends his leg back to tickle Putin`s private parts.

Adorable White Lion Cub Rejected by Mother: Video - A rare white lion cub was recently born at a zoo in southern Brazil.

Outrage: 9-month-old Baby Takes a Ride on Dad's Surfboard - If a see an irresponsible jerk surfing with his baby, I`ll call 911 and have the cops waiting to arrest him when he returns to the beach.

Firefighters Resuscitate Two Cats - Firefighters in Oregon used oxygen delivery kits to resuscitate two cats rescued from a house fire.

Woman,100, Shark Dives After Skydiving - A South African great-grandmother who went skydiving to celebrate her 100th birthday followed up her feat by going cage diving with great white sharks.


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