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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Facebook Renames 'Feeling Fat' Emoji Amid Protests - When I eat a pizza in one sitting, I feel fat and nothing represents my current status quite like a double-chinned emoji. I`m not dissing the horizontally-challenged community if I select the double-chinned emoji to represent how I feel, so you chubby creeps can pound sand or eat a pound cake.

Time-lapse Video Shows Hillary Clinton Aging From Teen Years to Present! - An unusual time-lapse video made by a Washington, D.C. nonprofit fundraiser and his friends shows former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton aging from her teen years to the present.

Spanish Politician Poses Nude for Campaign Poster - A candidate for local office in Spain`s Basque region is campaigning by baring her body on a poster reading: Politicians have left us stark naked.

Russian Magazine Puts Putin Being Licked by Bear on Cover - Obama, on the other hand is such an ineffectual and effeminate leader, that I`m surprised an American publication hasn`t put a photograph of a bear with Hillary`s face tinkling on Obama.

Viral Video: Buffalo Gets All Up in Girl's Grill - Visitors to a Washington state game farm captured video of a buffalo enthusiastically shoving its face into their car window to feed on scraps of bread.

300 Odd Ducks Wade in Pool With 6,000 Rubber Ducks for Charity - Organizers of Florida`s Duck Derby said some 300 people waded into a pool filled with 6,000 rubber ducks for the chance to win prizes worth up to $5,000.

Man, 95, Breaks 200-meter Sprint Record: Video - A 95-year-old retired dentist in Britain ran 200 meters -- 656 feet -- in 55.48 seconds to set a new world record for runners 95 and older.

Video Features Pajama-clad Bill Cosby Chatting on Rotary Phone! Can You Say 'Sick and Evil'? - Hey, hey, hey, you`re a loathsome serial rapist.

Man Walks on Frozen Lake to Escape Detroit! Wouldn't You? - This dude isn`t nuts, he`s just desperate, I would crawl on my knees, in the middle of winter, in a frozen lake, to escape the execrable city of Detroit.

Indiana Farmer Uses Hot Tub to Save Baby Cow: Video - Who knew farmers had hot tubs? You`d think a farmer would just fill the bed of his truck with water!

Carly Rae Jepsen is the Most Adorable Pop Star in the World! Her Video 'I Really Like You' Rocks! - We really like you Carly!

Vigilantes Correct Punctuation on Ecuador Graffiti - A group of grammar-minded graffiti vigilantes in Ecuador are using red paint and the cover of night to correct punctuation on the streets of the capital.

I'm an American Patriot and I Despise Obama and Admire Putin: Video - A video going viral in Russia shows a motorist getting a salute from traffic police by showing off the picture of President Vladimir Putin on his hood.

Germany Fights Public Urination With Walls That Pee Back: Video - Leaders in the party district of St. Pauli in Hamburg, Germany, are discouraging public urination by covering walls in paint that pees back.

Ben & Jerry's Considering Marijuana-infused Ice Cream - Marijuana-infused ice cream is a marriage made in heaven.

Viral Video: Lion Opens Car Door at Safari Park - A family taking video at a South African safari park learned a lesson about locking their doors when a female lion used her mouth to open their car door.

Dude Burned by Fajitas While Praying Can't Sue Applebee's - Moral of this story: Nobody like a sanctimonious idiot, not even God!

US Airman: UFO Encounter Gave Me Heart Failure - An American airman has won a legal bid to force military health chiefs to pay for the treatment of an illness allegedly caused by a UFO encounter in Suffolk.

UFO Fascination Says More About Humans Than About Aliens - UFO Fascination says more about humans than about aliens, it says that we are a foolish and ignorant species that will be lucky to ever develop the technology for intergalactic travel.

Rosie, 6-Month-Old Baby Loves Taylor Swift: Video - Even if you hate Swift`s music, you will love this video because Rosie is so cute.

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