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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Woman Wearing Flip-Flops Plunges to Death Over Cliff in Catskills - Flip-flops are aesthetically hideous open-toed sandals worn by denizens of trailer parks, Walmart shoppers, rednecks frolicking on the beach, and other assorted riff-raff.

Lindsay Lohan's Side Boob Pics Will Render You Comatose: Video - Imagine Casper the Friendly Ghost, after a sex-change operation, rocking a one-piece bathing suit with his flaccid side boob hanging down all the way to his belly button.

625 Pound Perp Says He is Too Fat to Make Court Appearance - Klein`s sob story doesn`t move me, he deserves to die in a jail cell. Being grotesquely overweight shouldn`t be a "get out of jail free card."

Babies Effectively Banned at 'Old Fisherman's Grotto' Restaurant in Monterey - Nothing ruins the ambience at a fine restaurant quite like a baby crying, uttering nonsensical words, and pooping or slobbering all over himself.

Dude Tells Cops The Only Guns in His Home Are His Biceps - I`m surprised the police officers didn`t` charge the man with making a terroristic threat when he flexed his biceps.

Little Girl Cries Because She Doesn't Want Her 3-Month Brother to Grow Up: Video - "I don`t want him to grow up, he`s so cute", the little girls pleads with her mother.

Golden Retriever Wiggles and Cries When Soldier Owner Returns Home: Video - This pooch named Izzy has obviously missed her owner, who`s been deployed for nine months.

Outrage: Growing Demand for Cat Meat in Vietnam: Video - Despite an official ban on eating cats, restaurants in Vietnam still offer the forbidden meat on their menus. In fact, the consumption of felines appears to be rising, prompting cat owners to fear for their pets` safety.

Outrage: Obama Declares 'Muslims Built the Fabric of our Nation' - I can`t wait until Barack Hussein Obama retires to his homeland of Kenya.

Rockies Give Away 15,000 Jerseys with Troy Tulowitzki`s Name Misspelled - As high as everyone is in the Mile High City, I`m surprised anyone noticed the typo.

Viral Video: Overjoyed Pooch Passes Out During Reunion With Owner - If you want someone who will love you unreservedly and unconditionally, adopt a dog from your local animal shelter today!

Samsung Phone Caught Fire Under Sleeping Girl`s Pillow: Video - If I had a 13-year-old daughter I would be more worried if she slept with a cell phone under her pillow, than if she slept next to her boyfriend.

Viral Video: Puppy Snuggles With Round Head Charlie Brown-Type Baby - It`s axiomatic that cats rule the Internet, but this cute baby and adorable puppy are doing their best to wrest control of cyberspace from felines.

Pit Bull Saves Chihuahua's Life, Now They're Inseparable: Video - A pit bull with a heart of gold carried around her Chihuahua friend on the streets of Savannah after the little guy was stricken with a severe eye infection.

Redneck Lady Calls Cops to Complain Her Meth Was 'Laced' - An Oklahoma woman wasn`t satisfied with the purity of her methamphetamine, so she decided to do something about it.

Megan Fox: I Want to Join Expedition to Find Bigfoot - If the History Channel produced a show about an expedition to find Bigfoot starring Megan Fox it would draw blockbuster ratings. Of course it wouldn`t hurt if Megan donned a camouflage hat, camouflage string bikini, and high heels instead of hiking boots.

2009 Underwear Bomber Plot Failed Because He Wore Same Drawers for 2 Weeks! - Nigeria is a hellhole populated by scammers, drug traffickers, Islamic militants with a penchant for kidnapping young girls, and underwear bombers with poor personal hygiene.

Walmart's Ice Cream Sandwiches Won't Melt in the Sun! Boycott Walmart! Video! - Walmart ice cream sandwiches are a perfect treat for souls burning in hell, but I would strongly urge parents not to give them to their vulnerable children.

Viral Video: Selfish Cat Refuses to Share Her Yogurt - Cats are cute, cuddly and selfish and territorial as hell, as this video proves.

Megadeth Drummer Nick Menza Films UFO - The drummer from American thrash metal band Megadeth has filmed a UFO in the sky above his house in California.


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