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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Anything More Adorable than Thandie Newton? Yes, Thandie Holding Her Baby! - Congrats to Thandie Newton on the birth of Booker Jombe Parker!

'The View' to Reunite all 11 Co-hosts for Barbara Walters Farewell! Just Kill Me! Video! - I can`t believe "The View" has been on the air for 17 years; I feel like killing myself.

Domino's Chicken Topped With Pizza Toppings an Abomination! Video! - Pizza toppings on a chicken nugget isn`t thinking outside the box, it`s more like crapping in a box and then having the unmitigated gall to sell the crap to the American public.

Mr. Poo Mascot Created to Reduce Public Defecation in India: Video - A country that needs to create a mascot to urge citizens not to defecate in public will never be anything more than a 3rd world cesspool.

Pharrell Williams' Happy Video Guaranteed to Make You Happy! - Pharrell we love your Happy song, you`ve earned a dispensation to wear your goofy hats, just please stay the hell away from Robin Thicke.

Journalist Wearing Google Glass Attacked by Patriot - Whose side are you on? If you don`t praise the action of the brave woman, by default you are on the side of the totalitarian state.

Wheel of Fortune Contestant Fails to Solve Puzzle Even With All the Letters Revealed - Julian Batts is black, and his "deer caught in the headlights moment", will unfortunately be interpreted as typical black ignorance by legions of racists.

KFC Chicken Corsage a Fowl Idea: Video - Dude a chicken corsage is a fowl idea, if you don`t live in the Deep South forget it!

$30 Million UFO Hotel to Open in the Middle of the Desert! Video! - There are enough UFO true believers to fill a 300 room hotel in Las Vegas, Ramallo will have no problem filling his 31 room hotel with looney birds who want to get their freak on in a UFO-themed hotel.

'Noah' Screening Canceled after Movie Theater Floods - Maybe God is a film critic, and He is exacting revenge for the filmmakers leaving Him out of movie where He deserves top billing.

UFO Mystery Solved! UFO Was... Video! - Another UFO fantasy dashed by such a mundane explanation; I`m surprised more UFO true believers don`t commit suicide.

Gas Station Taking Heat for Posting Sign with Anti-Gay Slur: Video - The saggy pants look originated in prisons where gay men let their pants slide down their butts to advertise they were sexually available.

Minnie Driver Rocks Blue Bikini! Haters Hate! What Do You Think? - Haters will hate, but there are plenty of decent folks who love Minnie and think she looks adorable in her blue bikini.

Lindsay Lohan to Attend Coachella, Promises Not to Drink! Yeah, Right! Video! - Bit** please!

Obama Revives Birther Issue at FBI Snitch Al Sharpton Rally: Video - I have to give Obama credit, he got away with the greatest deception in American history, and then he has the gall to joke about it.

Outrage: Christian School Teacher Calls Student, 12, 'Sassy Slut': Video - There should be zero tolerance for hateful language in a school (especially emanating from a teacher), regardless if it`s a private Christian school or a public school.

Billy Joel Surprises Elementary School Performing Billy Joel Tribute Concert - It gives me hope for the future that this elementary school didn`t hold a spring concert in honor of Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus -- they celebrated a true musical genius.

False Prophet John Hagee: Blood Moons Portend End Times: Video - When you witness the moon turning blood red on April 15, don`t reach for your rosary, reach for your bong and enjoy the show.

Jury Orders Man to Pay $5,001 to Coworker for Peeing in his Coffee - The jury didn`t have to include a rocket scientist or a Sherlock Holmes to deduce that Butler exhibited personal ill will and spite " towards Utz by peeing into his coffee.

Snoop Dogg Will Host 'Wellness Retreat' Concert on 4/20: Video - In a sign of harmonic convergence and spiritual bliss April 20 happens to fall on Easter this year.

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