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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Amanda Bynes Tweets Bikini Pics! Bikini so Wholesome a Nun Could Wear it! Video! - Amanda Bynes celebrated her 28th birthday in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, while on spring-break vacation from the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.

Deer Lord! Deer Cam Captures UFOs! Video! - Evidently these UFOs were on a mission to discover intelligent life in Mississippi, and deer are the closest thing that resembles intelligent life in the deep South.

Ypsilanti Police Searching for Serial Pooper - When I first read this article my first thought was: You`ve got to be shi***g me, but I guess there are some real turds out there.

Dude Wearing 'Drunk as Shi*' T-Shirt Arrested for DUI - This moron is smiling from ear-to-ear in his mugshot, evidently being photographed by the police wearing his Drunk as Shi* " T-shirt is the highlight of his life.

International Hero Vladimir Putin Banned from all Mighty Taco Locations - Putin doesn`t suffer fools gladly, Obama would be well-advised to get out of his grill, and Mighty Taco would be well-advised to end their silly promotion.

Rapper Trick Daddy Arrested for Cocaine Possession! Homeboy Keeps it Real! - Rapper Trick Daddy was arrested Thursday in Miami for possession of cocaine and a handgun.

5-Year-Old Hacker Exposes Microsoft Xbox Security Flaw: Video - A 5-year-old boy who wanted to play video games that he wasn`t supposed to figured out a way around his dad`s password and discovered a major security flaw in Microsoft`s Xbox Live service in the process.

Quinton Aaron, 'Blind Side' Star, Booted Off Flight for Being Way too Fat! - Quinton Aaron is a scholar, a gentleman, a gifted thespian and a good egg.

Man Stages Burglary to Avoid Going to Work: Video - A Florida man may have gotten out of going to work after staging a fake burglary at his home, but the place he ended up is probably worse -- jail.

Reporter Attacked by Anti-Obama Protester During Live Report - If the anti-Obama protestor wants to express his political views he can write a letter to the editor or write a blog, viewers don`t want their newscast to be interrupted by a jerk.

Lady Falls Into Well During Sex, Gentleman Flees! Can You Say 'Awkward'? Video! - Spanish police are hoping to speak to a man who left 21-year-old Edelia Aponte at the bottom of a well after she fell in while they were having sex.

There's Something Rotten in Denmark... - Archaeologists excavating in the town of Odense, Denmark,unearthed some medieval barrels that were being used in the town`s old toilet area.

Woman Poops in Courthouse Elevator! - A Florida woman was arrested last month on the charge of 'nuisance injurious to health` after she allegedly defecated in an elevator at a courthouse in Fort Pierce.

Bill Clinton Talks UFOs, Roswell & Area 51 with Jimmy Kimmel: Video - Captain James Kirk bedded more than a few alien females, if there were extraterrestrials deep in the bowels of Area 51, Clinton would have given birth to children with green skin and huge eyes

Texas Rangers Apologize for Trash Surrounding Memorial Statue: Video - The Texas Rangers apologized for fans leaving trash around a memorial statue for a fan that died during a 2011 game.

Evil Priest Charged with DUI, Drug and Weapons Charges - A cop wouldn`t be surprised to pull over a vehicle with a priest with underage boys as passengers. But it`s not every day that a police officer pulls over a drunk priest who`s armed to the teeth, and holding a bag of weed.

The Case of the Horny Old Man, Beautiful Masseuse & the Missing Rolex Watch - A legitimate massage doesn`t cost $300, the old man may have been a bit senile but he knew he was dealing with a prostitute. The horny old bastard didn`t deserve to get his watch back.

Justin Bieber Booed in Canada: Video - Admitting you`re a belieber, must be as hard as confessing you`re a bed-wetter.

Lorde Shares Un-Retouched Acne Photo on Twitter: Video - Lorde may be a worldwide pop sensation, but she`s still a teen, and teens get acne. Props to the Kiwi singing sensation for sharing photographs of herself on social media that hadn`t edited away her acne.

Town in Germany Builds Landing Pad for UFOs! Roswell: Get with the Program! - Roswell needs to get with the program, and become the first city in the United States to build a landing pad for flying saucers. Roswell could invite the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto, and the cracked-in-the-head Vice President Joe Biden to participate in the opening festivities.

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