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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Meth Head Burglar Found Hiding in a Box of Stuffed Animals - Washington police officers found a man crammed into a giant box of stuffed animals when they responded to a burglary alarm at a Tacoma thrift store.

Climate Change Will Eradicate Ginger Kids from the Face of the Earth! Video! - I will gladly live in a world that`s hotter than hell, if it means that I will no longer be terrorized by Ginger Kids.

Sheep-Abducting UFOs Terrorize Wales: Video! - An alert about alien SHEEP abduction was among the calls about UFOs received by one force over the past four years.

Crack-Smoking Mayor Rob Ford Can't Promise He Won't Smoke Crack Again - Crack-smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford said Friday that he won`t guarantee he will stay sober if he`s reelected, telling a radio show that people will just have to trust him.

UFO Symbols Appearing on Cattle Crossing Signs - Strange UFO symbols have appeared on dozens of cattle crossing signs.

CIA's Latest Tweet Debunks UFO Conspiracy: Video - Only a moron would believe that extraterrestrial visit our little blue planet on a regular basis, and only a fool would risk having his life turned upside down by castings aspersions on the CIA.

Waitress Fired for Facebook Rant - Anybody foolish enough to vent about their job online deserves to be fired. I have no sympathy for Kelly, I hope she lands a job in McDonald`s; she needs to learn what it feels like to work like a dog without getting any tips.

Joan Rivers Calls Barack Obama 'Gay' and Michelle Obama a 'Tranny': Video - Joan Rivers calling Michelle Obama a tranny is no more outrageous than comparing her to Jacqueline Kennedy.

Outrage: University Offers Female Students Extra Credit for Not Shaving Their Armpits - Female Arizona State University students can receive extra credit for defying social norms and refusing to shave for 10 weeks during the semester.

Creep Punches Girlfriend's Pet Rabbit After Argument About Women's Rights - The poor rabbit was severely injured, but he`s expected to survive, the woman suffered a few bruises but was otherwise uninjured, and Wertz is walking bowl-legged behind bars.

Homeless Stalker Threatens to Kill Michael Strahan - A deranged homeless man told police he wanted to kill the Good Morning America host after he was arrested with a knife outside outside ABC Studios Tuesday morning.

Lindsay Lohan Sues 'Grand Theft Auto' Maker for Alleged Use of her Likeness! Video! - The degenerate starlet must be back to her old ways of smoking crack if she thinks she has a prayer of winning the lawsuit.

July 2 is World UFO Day! Hug an Alien Today! Video! - The truth is out there, at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels, I think I will spend "World UFO Day" getting my drink on.

Adorable Bear Cub Gets Head Stuck in Jar of Animal Crackers: Video - A 6-month-old black bear cub in Ringwood, N.J., had to be rescued on Friday night, after he was caught up a tree with his head stuck in a jar."

Oxford University Researchers Prove Bigfoot is a Myth! Video! - If you have a sample of Bigfoot DNA flush it down the damn toilet, and stop wasting the time of the Oxford scientists.

Brit Brazenly Poops in Barclays Bank Branch Before Beating It: Video - Is this a gentleman with a vendetta against banking institutions, a performance artist, or a poor soul afflicted with diarrhea? What do you think?

Woman, 56, Attacks Man, 25, for Turning Down Her Sexual Advances - Moral of this story: If an elderly woman asks a twenty-something man over her house for drinks, it can only mean that she wants to get her freak on.

Viral Video! Chipmunk Goes Kung Fu on Cat! - The fearless little chipmunk got the best of the predator, or to put it less diplomatically, the chipmunk made the cat his bit**!

Chinese Dude's Heart Ripped From His Chest: Fight Over Cup of Noodles - A man has been killed after his still beating heart was pulled out of his chest and bit into by his attacker after a furious row over a bowl of noodles.

Kelly Osbourne Debuts Head Tattoo! What a Moron! Video - When you weigh as much as a baby hippo you don`t really need to sport a purple Mohawk or tattoo your head to call attention to yourself.

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