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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Earthquake Hits Los Angeles Area: KTLA Anchors Dive for Cover! Video! - KTLA should fire these drama queens immediately; they are an embarrassment to their profession.

Three-Year-Old Brainiac Saves Pregnant Mom's Life: Video - This brainiac tot cracked her Mom`s password, searched the address book, found her Auntie`s number, and left a coherent message on the voice mail: Mommy is sick, and we need you to call an ambulance.

Dude Googles His Name, Finds His Mugshot, Turns Himself In: Video - Let`s face it, we all Google our own names, for many reasons, but primarily out of vanity.

Are UFO Experts Being Killed by the Government? Video! - There is no Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus, and there is no conspiracy to assassinate UFO experts.

Saudi Arabia Issues List of 50 Banned Names - Oh the joys of living in a theocracy, first a Saudi cleric issues a fatwa against eating all-you-can-eat buffets, and then the interior minister bans 50 children`s names.

Dude Brings 40 Bags of Heroin to Court Hearing - Let`s not judge this gentleman too harshly; doesn`t everyone attend a court hearing reeking of marijuana, carrying 43 bags of heroin, and with their posse in tow?

Model Sues Playboy for Letting Golfer Drive Ball off Tee in her Butt - This model/skank agreed to lie with her fat ass exposed so that Klein could hit off the tee in her butt, and she has the audacity to sue because he missed the tee and struck her on the buttocks?

Cher Devastated Over Split With Costume Designer Bob Mackie - If Cher is so heartbroken over the split with her costume designer, God only knows what she will do if she has a falling out with her plastic surgeon.

Muslim Cleric Issues Fatwa Against All-You-Can-Eat Buffets - How do you parody or mock a religion that issues a fatwa against all-you-can-eat buffets? Not to put too fine a point on it, put Islam is a joke.

Rock Immortal Jimi Hendrix To Be Honored With Forever Stamp: Video - Hendrix had more talent in his guitar picking thumb than the likes of Justin Bieber has in his entire body. Expand your mind; check out his video on YouTube!

Bobbi Kristina Brown Looks Like Anorexic Crackhead: Video - Is Bobbi Kristina Brown too skinny, you be the judge!

Hundreds of Pilgrims (Morons) Flock to Glowing Virgin Mary Statue - If the statue of the Virgin Mary twerked like Miley Cyrus then I would fall on my face, praise God, and pledge my undying allegiance to the Catholic Church.

Louisiana Lingerie Shop Accepts EBT Cards - Some lingerie shops sell edible panties, but I doubt that a dad will buy edible panties so that he child can eat them with his breakfast cereal.

UFO Insanity! Over 1,000 UFOs Spotted in Canada Last Year! Video! - UFO sightings in Canada are sky high, hitting a total only seen once before in the past 25 years.

Jeopardy Villain Arthur Chu Finally Loses! There is a God! Video! - Horrific news: Arthur Chu will return for the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions!

Target's Epic Photoshop Fail! Boycott Target! Video - Target has apologized and removed the offensive images from their Web site, but it`s too little too late. If you don`t want your identity to be stolen, and your young daughter`s fragile psyche to be irreparably harmed: Boycott Target!

Wrestler Submits When Opponent Farts in his Face: Video - A wrestler should be prepared for any eventuality; he shouldn`t expect the sweet scent of cologne to emanate from his opponent`s fat a**.

Lux the Ferocious Cat Will Undergo Therapy: Video - Move over Grumpy Cat, Lil Bub, Hamilton the Hipster Cat, Snoopy the Cat and Colonel Meow, Lux the Cat is the new Superstar Cat of the Internet.

Chris Matthews Humiliates Himself on Live TV: Video - Matthews famously proclaimed that he felt a tingle radiating all the way up his groin when he heard Obama give a speech, I bet he ain`t gonna feel a tingle when he sees his humiliating moment on YouTube.

Tiny Pooch Confronts SWAT Team: Video - This doggie is protesting the militarization of the police; even small town police departments are equipped with tanks, armored vehicles and machine guns.

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