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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Walmart's Ice Cream Sandwiches Won't Melt in the Sun! Boycott Walmart! Video! - Walmart ice cream sandwiches are a perfect treat for souls burning in hell, but I would strongly urge parents not to give them to their vulnerable children.

Viral Video: Selfish Cat Refuses to Share Her Yogurt - Cats are cute, cuddly and selfish and territorial as hell, as this video proves.

Megadeth Drummer Nick Menza Films UFO - The drummer from American thrash metal band Megadeth has filmed a UFO in the sky above his house in California.

Man Goes in for Circumcision, Wakes Up to Discover Penis Missing! Video! - An Alabama man has filed a lawsuit alleging that a hospital amputated his penis instead of giving him a circumcision.

Black Postal Worker Goes Postal: Stylist Took Too Long to Untangle Her Ratty Weave! - A female African American postal worker walked into a beauty salon with the unrealistic expectation that the hair stylists could un-knot her tangled weave during her break from work. It would take less time to solve a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle or to prepare your taxes.

551-Pound Man Wants House Arrest Sentence Reduced Because He Can't Leave Anyway - A Florida man who weighs 551 pounds asked a judge to nullify the rest of his 30-month house arrest sentence because he can`t leave his home anyway.

Was Joseph Rudolph Wood's Execution Botched? Hell No, the Animal Died! - Many newspapers have described Wood`s execution as a botched execution,the only botched execution is one where the low-life scum who richly deserves to be put to death survives.

Outrage: Twitter Staff 3% Hispanic, 2% Black, 30% Female! - Twitter and other social media giant corporations don`t mind if minorities access their sites, but they are loathe to welcome us as employees.

Sarah Palin Blames Speeding Ticket on Sammy Hagar: Video - Sarah Palin was jamming out to some classic rock while driving in Alaska and it apparently got her motor running a little too fast.

Snoop Dogg Smoked Weed at the White House! Did Obama Join Him? Video! - Snoop Dogg hosted Jimmy Kimmel as a guest on his Internet talk show and told Kimmel that he once smoked weed in a White House bathroom.

Viral Video! Old Man Throws Away Canes, Drops it Like it's Hot! Dancing Machine! - A video starring an old dude dancing has temporarily eclipsed all the cat videos on the Internet.

North Korea Dictator Kim Jong-un Has Panties in a Twist Over Video - Fight tyranny and oppression and like this YouTube video!

Friend Claims Hillary Clinton Was A Pothead! - I wouldn`t trust a presidential candidate who claims she`s never smoked pot. If Hillary is elected President of the United States we will all be smoking pot to try to forget we elected the bit**.

Bill Clinton's Mistress Given Code Name 'Energizer' by Secret Service: Video - For God`s sake America wake up, don`t elect these narcissistic low-life one-percenters back to the White House.

Sheriff Gets Rid of Orange Jumpsuits Because They are too 'Cool' - All-orange jumpsuits are cool and a real turn-on but if I made a pass at Red, or even Piper or Soso they would tear me a new a-hole. But if a nerdy girl dons an orange jumpsuit, I will be all over her like white on rice.

Man, 97, Booted From Retirement Home For Playing Ukulele - I can`t stand anyone playing the freaking ukulele, but when you are almost a century old, you should be allowed to play the ukulele wearing only your diapers, if such is your desire.

Woman Shoplifts Vibrator, Hides it in Child's Stroller! - Obama has blessed the poor and needy with Obama Phones, he needs to give poor and horny women Obama Vibrators.

Huge Purple UFO Scares Bejesus Out of Kid! - A Big Purple Mothership was the last thing Lenny expected to see when he went out four-wheeling.

Selfie Toaster, Best Thing Since Sliced Bread: Video - Camera phone selfies are so five minutes ago. It's no longer enough just to take a picture of yourself. Now you can eat an image of your own face with the help of a selfie toaster.

Viral Video! Crying Toddler Begs Her Dad to Retun Her Nose - Some things are as plain as the nose on your face...

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