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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Being Happy in Iran Will Get You Arrested! 'Happy' Dancers Freed! Video! - The young people were wrong, it`s impossible to be free and to enjoy life in a totalitarian theocracy. The Iranian religious authorities aren`t happy unless everyone is glum, depressed and under their collective thumb.

UFO's Crash in China! Huge Ball of Fire! UFO Invasion? - Residents of villages in the Heilongjiang province of China reported three UFOs fell from the sky on Friday morning, according to the China News Service.

Drinkable Sunscreen! Do You Think it Works? Video - For all the people who are sick and tired of rubbing themselves with sunscreen to prevent getting burned, now there`s an alternative -- drinkable sunscreen.

Hottie Arrested After Stashing Pot in Vagina - Jessica Johnston confessed to having a bag containing 2.6 grams of marijuana in her vagina after being told that she would face a felony charge if she was caught bringing contraband into the jail.

Evil Woman Forces 3-year-old to Eat Feces as Punishment - An Arizona woman was arrested Saturday on child abuse charges after she allegedly forced a 3-year-old girl to eat her own feces as punishment after she went to the bathroom in the bathtub.

Funnel Cloud Caught on Videotape Will Scare Bejesus Out of You! - This massive funnel cloud looks like the snout of an evil monster that`s just dying to suck up houses, trees, human beings, and dogs and cats.

Dog Treats From China Killing Dogs! For God's Sake Don't Buy Anything From China! Video! - As of May 1, more than 1,000 dogs have died as a result of the toxic treats.

Facebook's New 'Ask' Feature: Creepier Than Hell! Video! - I can understand why this update was unannounced; it`s creepier than sneaking into Rosie O`Donnell`s bedroom to spy on her as she makes out with an inflatable doll.

24-Year-Old Poppy is World's Oldest Cat - Congratulations to Poppy and her owners Marguerite Corner and her daughter Jacqui. Twenty-four feline years in equivalent to 114 human years.

Hot Girl Named Peyton Manning Arrested for Drugs in Tennessee - It wasn`t a super Sunday for a Tennessee woman, who has the same name as Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning, after she was arrested on felony drug charges following a traffic stop in Nashville.

Viral Video: EMT Jams to Rihanna Song While Driving an Ambulance - A New Jersey paramedic who was caught on camera voguing to a Rihanna song while driving an ambulance may have delighted the Internet, but didn`t entertain his bosses.

Hillary Clinton: Too Old, Too Corrupt, Too Sickly to Run for President! - Now is the time to speak out against the so-called inevitability of a Hillary run for president. Our democracy cannot survive another Clinton, or another Bush for that matter, in the White House.

Meteorologist Rescues Kitten from Tornado Rubble: Video - Rarely does a TV weatherman have the opportunity to be a hero, but Cedarville meteorologist Rich Wirdzek is the toast of the town after he rescued a kitten from an area devastated by a tornado.

Mom Upset McDonald's Played 'Color Me Badd' in Children's Play Area - A mom was filled with disgust instead of nostalgia when she went to a local McDonald`s with her children and heard Color Me Badd`s 1991 hit `I Wanna Sex You Up` booming through the speakers.

Woman Threatens to Shoot Up Burger King Over Stale Cinnamon Roll - Just because the Burger King mascot is a king it doesn`t mean you are going to be treated like royalty. If you want good service dine at a classy restaurant, fast food means cheap grub served quickly with negligible service.

Prospective Pastor Stabs Wife Following Marriage Counseling Session - A Florida man is facing charges after allegedly stabbing wife following a marriage counseling session with their family pastor.

Dude Treats Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound to Head with Neosporin - Duct tape will repair almost any mechanical problem, and Neosporin will heal almost any bruise, cut or abrasion, but I don`t think the instructions include: Gently apply to the gaping gunshot hole in your head.

Hero Cat That Saved Boy From Dog Attack Will Throw Out First Pitch At Baseball Game: Video - The California cat that saved her young owner during a dog attack, and became an Internet star in the process, will now be starring in a different role minor league baseball pitcher.

Sign Warns San Francisco Drivers of 'Godzilla Attack': Video - Tip for the day: See Godzilla this weekend, vacation in San Francisco this year.

Stockton Yokels Mistake Cloud for UFO Mothership: Video - It`s a cloud people, a freaking cloud, go back to your meth and stop polluting Twitter and Instagram with your tomfoolery.

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