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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

World's Dirtiest Man Hasn't Bathed In 60 Years! Video! - Haji lives like a hermit, he sleeps in a hole in the ground, eats rotten porcupine meat, smokes animal dung, and he hasn`t bathed in six decades.

Outrage: Lindsay Lohan Demands Cops Escort Her On 10-Foot Stroll! Video! - The only time the cops should escort Lohan is when she`s doing a perp walk to her latest stint in jail.

Dude Charged $1,666.61 for $16.51 Waffle House Meal: Video - Restaurant chain Waffle House apologized to a South Carolina man who was charged $1,666.61 for a $16.51 breakfast.

Demon Baby Scares Bejesus Out of New Yorkers! Scary Video! - Enjoy this video as this robotic demon baby scares the Bejesus out of innocent New Yorkers.

Outrage: Couple Bring Infant To Upscale Restaurant - I don`t want to overreact, but God damn this selfish and inconsiderate couple straight to hell for bringing their infant to an upscale restaurant.

Outrage: Christine McVie Rejoins Fleetwood Mac: Video - The age and drug and alcohol ravaged faces of the Rolling Stones add poignancy and gravitas to their performances, but it`s not a pleasant experience to witness women who were beautiful and lithesome in their prime shake their creaky butts on stage.

UFO Paranoia Down Under: Video - There is no UFO activity "Down Under" or up in the sky: Just say No to UFO tomfoolery!

Puppy Rescued From Heating Duct: Video - A mother will take pains to baby-proof her home, but too many owners of kittens and puppies fail to pet-proof their homes.

420 Mile Marker Changed to 419.99 to Prevent Thefts: Video - For Philistines who don`t know the significance of " 420", dudes you need to blast some Cypress Hill and get with the program.

Outrage: Snowplow Drivers Film UFO Instead of Clearing Parking Lots: Video - The video was shot in Joliet at about 11:30 p.m. Jan. 5, 2014 by two snowplow drivers who were clearing parking lots near Louis Joliet Mall.

Swiss Cheese Pervert Terrorizing Philadelphia: Video - After reading this story you may never again eat Swiss cheese "

Let's Trade Canada Chris Christie for Rob Ford! Video! - Why is Ford better than Christie? Let`s count the ways!

Trumpeter's Rendition of Star-Spangled Banner at Carolina Panthers San Francisco 49ers Game Wows Crowd! Video! - Jesse McGuire should be hired to play the national anthem before every Super Bowl, and before every World Series and NBA finals game.

Pooch Tests Positive For Cocaine & Weed! - This pooch doesn`t belong to Snoop Dogg or any other rapper with an affinity for weed, he belongs to Arlene Saiz a clueless woman who claims she has no idea how the hapless animal consumed the drugs.

Doctor Removes Huge Cockroach From Man's Ear: Video - One more thing to keep me up at night! From now on I`ll be sleeping with ear plugs and with a can of insecticide under my bed.

David Cassidy Arrested For Drunk Driving! Again! Video! - Maybe Danny Bonaduce, another Partridge Family graduate who`s survived hard times, can talk some sense to Cassidy.

Dude Drove Station Wagon Into Store, Stole A Banana - The most interesting part about this offbeat story is that the thief was driving a station wagon, who the hell drives a station wagon these days?

Dude Stabs Girlfriend For Bringing Him Pizza Instead Of Chicken Sandwich - Corsey stabbed, choked and struck his girlfriend for having the temerity to bring home a pizza instead of a chicken sandwich, thereby proving he`s a refined gentleman with a discriminating palate.

Bridgegate Has Destroyed Chris Christie's Presidential Aspirations! Fat Bully Is Toast! - New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is a fat bully, who likes throwing his weight around, literally and figuratively.

Dude Arrested For DUI Tells Cops He's An Owl - I hope this dude had fun hooting like an owl in a tree, because now he`ll be a jailbird for a few months.

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