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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Quinton Aaron, 'Blind Side' Star, Booted Off Flight for Being Way too Fat! - Quinton Aaron is a scholar, a gentleman, a gifted thespian and a good egg.

Man Stages Burglary to Avoid Going to Work: Video - A Florida man may have gotten out of going to work after staging a fake burglary at his home, but the place he ended up is probably worse -- jail.

Reporter Attacked by Anti-Obama Protester During Live Report - If the anti-Obama protestor wants to express his political views he can write a letter to the editor or write a blog, viewers don`t want their newscast to be interrupted by a jerk.

Lady Falls Into Well During Sex, Gentleman Flees! Can You Say 'Awkward'? Video! - Spanish police are hoping to speak to a man who left 21-year-old Edelia Aponte at the bottom of a well after she fell in while they were having sex.

There's Something Rotten in Denmark... - Archaeologists excavating in the town of Odense, Denmark,unearthed some medieval barrels that were being used in the town`s old toilet area.

Woman Poops in Courthouse Elevator! - A Florida woman was arrested last month on the charge of 'nuisance injurious to health` after she allegedly defecated in an elevator at a courthouse in Fort Pierce.

Bill Clinton Talks UFOs, Roswell & Area 51 with Jimmy Kimmel: Video - Captain James Kirk bedded more than a few alien females, if there were extraterrestrials deep in the bowels of Area 51, Clinton would have given birth to children with green skin and huge eyes

Texas Rangers Apologize for Trash Surrounding Memorial Statue: Video - The Texas Rangers apologized for fans leaving trash around a memorial statue for a fan that died during a 2011 game.

Evil Priest Charged with DUI, Drug and Weapons Charges - A cop wouldn`t be surprised to pull over a vehicle with a priest with underage boys as passengers. But it`s not every day that a police officer pulls over a drunk priest who`s armed to the teeth, and holding a bag of weed.

The Case of the Horny Old Man, Beautiful Masseuse & the Missing Rolex Watch - A legitimate massage doesn`t cost $300, the old man may have been a bit senile but he knew he was dealing with a prostitute. The horny old bastard didn`t deserve to get his watch back.

Justin Bieber Booed in Canada: Video - Admitting you`re a belieber, must be as hard as confessing you`re a bed-wetter.

Lorde Shares Un-Retouched Acne Photo on Twitter: Video - Lorde may be a worldwide pop sensation, but she`s still a teen, and teens get acne. Props to the Kiwi singing sensation for sharing photographs of herself on social media that hadn`t edited away her acne.

Town in Germany Builds Landing Pad for UFOs! Roswell: Get with the Program! - Roswell needs to get with the program, and become the first city in the United States to build a landing pad for flying saucers. Roswell could invite the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto, and the cracked-in-the-head Vice President Joe Biden to participate in the opening festivities.

Pepsi Max Pranks Brits into Thinking UFOs Attacking London! Bloody Brilliant! Video! - Pepsi Max set up an augmented reality billboard at a London bus top. Passengers were fooled thinking they were seeing unbelievable things happen through the screen. Mutant tentacles would snatch pedestrians, and giant robots or UFOs would attack the city.

Dude Cares for Baby Porcupine after Mom Becomes Roadkill: Video - A Maine man who was looking for a mineral found something even more valuable when he cut open the stomach of a dead porcupine on the side of the road in Minot.

Dude Wins $650K in Lottery Day After Wife Dies from Heart Attack: Video - McDaniel`s is one lucky dude, he wins a small fortune and there`s no wife to nag him to spend his money wisely and cautiously.

British Bloke Pretends to be Mayor, Bamboozles Burg! - A man fooled a town in England into think he was their mayor by setting up a fake Twitter account.

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370: Orange Object Turns Out to be Dead Jellyfish - If we can land a man on the moon, and if an NSA satellite orbiting the Earth can read a license plate, why can`t we find out what happened to the plane?

UFO Mothership That Looks Like Giant Jellyfish Spotted Hovering Over Hong Kong! Video! - Did Waring really see a UFO that looks like a jellyfish in Hong Kong? I don`t know, but just to play it safe, I ain`t planning on vacationing in Hong Kong anytime soon.

Instant Karma: Redneck Driver Flips Bird, Crashes Seconds Later! Beautiful! Video! - This video is as close as perfection gets this side of heaven. A perfect ending would have entailed the truck catching on fire, the redneck burnt to a crisp, and the female driver stopping to roast a wiener by the flames of the crash.

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