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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Dude Eats Scrambled Eggs in Middle of Busy Street - Death to all performance artists.

Outrage: Sarah Silverman Attacked Donald Trump Because He Asked If Her Boobs Were Real - When Silverman first started out in comedy she had that nerdy Jewish girl thing going for her, and she was adorable if not very funny.

Donald Trump Gets Behind the Wheel of a Big Rig and the Internet Goes Nuts - Trump was making funny faces while pretending to drive the semi truck, we're all making funny faces while Trump pretends to govern the country.

Donald Trump Jr Blasts London Mayor After Terrorist Attack - The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Donald Trump Jr. shares his father's obsession with posting misleading and controversial tweets.

Japanese Town Offering Discount Funerals for Seniors Who Give Up Driving - In a perfect world our highways and byways would be senior citizen free zones.

Pussy Riot's Nadya Hates Putin and Trump - Americans are worse off under Trump than Russians are under Putin, and we must resist Trump by any means necessary.

For the Good of the Country Twitter Should Ban Donald Trump - Napolitano was suspended by Fox News for impugning the integrity of a British spy agency, I wish Twitter would suspend Trump for spreading lies.

Permissive Parents Allow Toddlers From Hell to Engage in Unholy Tomfoolery - I would have made the toddlers clean their room, spanked the hell out of them, and believe me they would have bit their lips and gone to sleep.

Congratulations On Your Weight Loss Lena Dunham! - Lena Dunham finally looks decent.

Angela Merkel's Bewilderment at the Entity Known as Donald Trump - Angela Merkel's facial expressions illustrate global bewilderment at Trump.

Epic Las Vegas Street Fight Between Dude Wearing Eeyore Onesie and a Guitarist - A shocking brawl between a man holding a guitar and another man dressed in a Eeyore onesie was captured on video

Donald Trump Wants to Kill Meals on Wheels - Trump is building up the military to compensate for his micropenis; he should get a penis transplant and leave the poor and elderly the hell alone.

Billboard Depicts Donald Trump, Nazi-like Symbols! Masterpiece! - The dollar signs created with typography imitating Nazi swastikas are a stroke of brilliance that perfectly captures Trump's unholy amalgamation of Nationalist fascism, unbridled capitalism and unchecked power.

Grandmothers Knit Sweaters for Chickens - Let's pray and hope that this grandmas knitting sweaters for chickens thing catches on, and henceforth they will only knit sweaters for critters that appreciate their handiwork.

McDonald's Twitter Account Mocks Donald Trump's Tiny Hands - Maybe Trump will get revenge by attacking McDonald's on Twitter and by doing a commercial for White Castle, he shouldn't have any problems holding a White Castle slider with his diminutive hands.

Donald Trump Condemns Snoop Dogg Satirical Video - I knew that it was only a matter of time before Donald Trump would express his outrage on Twitter at Snoop Dogg for his anti-Trump video.

Rachel Maddow: Most Epic Fail in Cable News History - Maddow's butch lesbian vibe and didactic presentation aren't my cup of tea -- not that there's anything wrong with butch lesbians or ponderous speakers. But even I was waiting with bated breath for the big reveal.

Marco Rubio Slams Snoop Dogg Over Music Video Depicting Mock Trump Assassination - Little Marco needs the chill the hell out, smoke a big blunt and give Snoop Dogg his well-deserved props.

Snoop Dogg Shoots 'Evil Clown' Donald Trump In New Video - America is one nation under a groove, Crip walking to the musical stylings of the Doggfather.

Kellyanne Conway (Inspector Gadget) is Bonkers - Trying to decipher what a Donald Trump tweet means makes as much sense as trying to explain what a Trump wet fart means in a geopolitical sense.

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