 | Is Bigfoot Terrorizing Indian Reservation? - The ungodly sounds are probably emanating from the van of a dude with a bumper sticker that reads: If this van is rocking, don`t bother knocking. |
 | Video: Super-Hot MMA Star Ronda Rousey Stars In Honey Boo Boo Parody - Honey Boo Boo is played out, The Learning Channel should produce a reality show based on Ronda Rousey! |
 | Runaway Lemur Attacks 2-Year-Old Girl - I ain`t afraid of no lemur, if the thing came after me I would make a sweater out of the thing before you could say "Holy Cow." |
 | Two Strippers, Including A Pregnant One, Fight On Stage Over Dollar Bill! - I might attend a Jerry Springer show, but I have too much integrity to ever darken the door of a strip club. |
 | Video: Morons Gawk At DeLorean Hovercraft In San Francisco - The natural beauty of the Golden Gate and the architectural magnificence of the Golden Gate Bridge is enough to take your breath away. |
 | Sick With The Flu? Try The Influenza Sorbet! - The special sorbet contains a healthy dose of bourbon whiskey, hmm, when it comes to dealing with the flu, just give me the whiskey straight. |
 | Moscow Officials Ban Drunks From Participating In Epiphany Baths - This isn`t an obscure religious ritual, more than 120,880 Muscovites participated in 2012. |
 | Insanity: French Lady Late For Her Own Funeral! - A mistake is putting the wrong tie on the corpse, delivering the body hours late is a colossal blunder. |
 | Video: Ice Cubes Will Alert You When You're Drunk - Sounds like a cool I idea, but upon further review it sucks! |
 | Girl, 5, Suspended For Threatening To Shoot Girl With Pink Hello Kitty Gun That Shoots Bubbles! - Only a mindless bureaucrat, a crazed terrorist, or a hardline Communist would take offense at a 5-year-old girl threatening to shoot bubbles at another girl with her Hello Kitty toy gun. |
 | Canadian Lady Refuses To Give Up Bimbo Her Pet Deer - My guess is that this woman doesn`t have a significant other in her life, homegirl needs to get rid of the deer and join an online dating club. |
 | Kids Win Bet By Getting Million 'Likes' On Facebook, Parents Buy them Puppy - Incredibly, the page received more than 1.2 million likes in less than 24 hours. I guess I shouldn`t be too surprised, who doesn`t like little kids and puppies? |
 | Dog Training Center Offers Yoga (Doga) Classes For Pooches And Their Owners - I`m all for people spending more time with their pets, whether it`s a man doing doga with his pooch or a woman playing chess with her cat, it`s all good. |
 | Dude Shoplifts From Walmart To Impress Lady - Dude, how about showing some initiative, and looking for a better-paying job, so you won`t have to shoplift from Walmart? |
 | Video: Honey Boo Boo Nominated For GLAAD Media Award - Honey Boo Boo`s pearl of wisdom resonates more with average folks than a psychologist`s thesis arguing that homosexuality is normal. |
 | Video: Oscar The Three-Legged Pooch Caught Stealing Dog Food From Store - Oscar is an inspiration for disabled canines and humans; he hasn`t let his disability slow him at all. |
 | Will Hillary Clinton Divorce Bill Clinton And Run For President In 2016? - For God`s sake Hillary, you don`t need your lying and conniving husband, demonstrate that you are presidential material, by promptly divorcing him. |
 | Pair Of Robbers Who Got 68 Cents From 3 Victims Receive Lengthy Sentences - We need more judges like State District Judge Raymond Angelini, who show compassion for victims, and absolutely no mercy for criminals. |
 | Video: Dude Run Over By Subway After Defecating Between Cars - There should be a zero tolerance attitude for the homeless, a few are in need of medical or psychiatric assistance, but most of them need a good swift kick in the butt. |
 | Creep Goes On Wedgie-Spree At Movie Theater - A have a feeling Ross won`t stop his annoying behavior until one of his victims beats the hell out of him, and rams his cell phone down his throat. |
