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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Priest Drives Away Burglars With Boring Sermon - Although he wasn`t very priest-like with his language, O`Neill did manage to get rid of the men by boring them with a 'sermon that I had prepared for later that day`

Woman Delivers Baby In Her Driveway: Wind Chill -13 Degrees - Abigail`s hubby, who was inside the house probably watching highlights on ESPN, came out to hear the baby crying. Typical dude: Utterly clueless and useless when the sh** hits the fan or when a baby is born.

Farting Cows Start Fire At German Dairy Farm: Video - These hapless cows not only produced a lot of milk, but they also generated enough methane gas to blow up their dairy farm.

'Weedman' Allowed to Leave Jail Once a Month to Smoke Weed: Video - The same judge who sentenced Ed Forchion to nine months in jail for marijuana possession also lets him fly to California for 10 days each month to smoke marijuana.

Man Runs Into Burning House To Save His... Xbox! Video! - The gamer suffered smoke inhalation and the fire caused $80,000 in damages.

Lady Tells Cops Some Dude Named 'Ted' Stole Her Obama Phone: Video - Moral of this story: If a chick, who owns an Obama Phone, rings you up for a booty call, hang up!

Seattle Butcher Offers Beast Mode Spicy Skittles Sausage: Video - A Seattle butcher has taken Skittles and combined them with sausage in one of the most unholy marriages in the history of food.

Mysterious UFO Goo Turns Out To Be Bird Vomit: Enough UFO Tomfoolery! - There is nothing exotic about the UFO goo, here` the scoop: A magpie ate a frog and coughed up the indigestible parts.

London Police Reports Indicate Clowns are Menace to Society - For God`s sake don`t hire a clown for your child`s birthday party, might as well hire a serial killer or a child molester.

Old Man Fined For Popping Ice Cream Truck Tires - A Swedish businessman who used a power drill to puncture the tires of an ice cream truck was fined and ordered to pay the driver for lost income.

Mike Huckabee, Libido, Uncle Sugar & The GOP Women Problem! Video! - Did Huckabee not take that Republican class on How to Talk to Women without Sounding like a Total Dic*?

Boy George Releasing First Album in 18 Years: Video - Boy George`s first album in 18 years, This Is What I Do, will get its North American release March 25.

Serial Pooper Terrorizes Indian Train Commuters: Video - We know that sh** happens, but feces smeared on seats of a commuter train, really?

Pope Francis: The Internet is a Gift from God! Video! - Pope Francis has a heavenly gift for dispensing pearls of wisdom. His quote about the Internet being a gift from God is almost as golden as his Who am I to judge " remark in reference to gays and lesbians.

Are You OK With Mural Of Smiling Vagina In A Junior High School? - I`m not intimidated by a mural of female genitalia, regardless if it is smiling, frowning or winking. But is this controversial work of art appropriate in a junior high school?

Jury Awards Dude $4M After Accident Left Him With Skinned Genitals! - Dudes are very protective of their family jewels, if I buy Gold Bond Anti-Itch Lotion to treat my jock itch and I develop a blister on my manhood you can best believe I will sue Gold Bond for millions.

Bill Cosby to Star in New NBC Sitcom: Video - Let`s hope and pray that Cosby`s new sitcom won`t strive for relevance and trendiness by featuring kids with a gangsta attitude.

Shocker: The Captain & Tennille Divorcing! Say it Ain't So! Video! - The Captain & Tennille have no children, but they have plenty of hits that will live on forever.

Russian Politician: Obama Should Divorce Michelle - Any couple that`s been married as long as the Obamas engage in sex as often as they do their taxes, and the sex is as enjoyable as doing their taxes.

'Anorexic' Doll Provokes Controversy: Should 'Nenuco Won't Eat' Doll Be Banned? - To argue that the Nenuco Won`t Eat " doll encourages young children to develop eating disorders is patently absurd.


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