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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

One Direction: Boy Band From Hell! Video! - One Direction is an abominable boy band from England, and if you`ve never heard of them, or better yet heard them, consider yourself blessed.

Store Owner,96, Refuses To Give Robber Money, Offers Him Tootsie Rolls Instead: Video - Even when the wannabe robber flashed a knife, the elderly store owner refused to open her register drawer.

Deer Trail Considers Hunting Licenses for Drones: Video! Cool Idea! - I can`t think of a more patriotic act than shooting down an unmanned drone.

Outrage: Mom Stabs Baby 90 Times In The Face: Video! - In a perfect world she would be sentenced to breastfeed Mike Tyson right after he loses a fight.

Stevie Wonder To Boycott Florida Over George Zimmerman Verdict! Boycott Wonder? Video! - Boycott Stevie Wonder?

Black Woman Diagnosed With 'Ghetto Booty' By White Doctor: Video - Ragland needs to find a doctor with a better bedside manner, and she needs to lose some weight -- post haste.

Gentleman, 99, is Nordstrom's Only Greeter: Video - I thought the only places where you would find greeters were at Walmart stores, strip clubs, and I imagine hell has one as well.

City Slicker Complains About Topless Servers At 'Redneck Heaven' Bar - It just ain`t redneck heaven without topless waitresses.

Jenny McCarthy Will Replace Elisabeth Hasselbeck On 'The View': Video - A couple of years ago I gave up sex for good after hearing Behar, Goldberg and Barbara Walters chat about female sexual gratification.

1,200 Engage In Water Balloon Fight For Charity: Video - It`s great to see so many people having so much fun for such an awesome cause.

Wedding Reception Turns Into Family Brawl: Video - I`m surprised this incident took place in Norfolk, England and not Hicksville, Alabama.

Carly Rae Jepsen Throws Worst First Pitch In Baseball History: Video - Call Me Maybe? I doubt Jepsen will be getting any more calls from baseball executives.

Outrage: Lindsay Lohan To Star In Reality Show For Oprah Winfrey's Network - A serious journalist wouldn`t interview Lindsay Lohan; the pop tart doesn`t have anything of substance to offer to the talk queen`s audience.

Snake Bit Dude In His Manhood As He Relieved Himself In Public Restroom - A routine restroom break took a turn for the worst for an Israeli man who said an irritable snake bit him in the penis as he relieved himself.

Dude Killed When Cow Falls Through His Roof! Video! - How can anybody possibly comfort the grieving widow? Telling her "crap happens" or "Holy Cow, things will get better" just ain`t going to cut it.

Justice Prevails: George Zimmerman Not Guilty! - On July 13, 2012 a jury of his peers declared George Zimmerman not guilty, and if our nation is ever going to overcome our racial problems, we must start by respecting the verdict.

Is There Anything Jennifer Lopez Won't Do For Money? - Shame on you Jennifer Lopez, I will never again buy your records, attend your movies or purchase the products you endorse.

Honey Boo Boo Child Introduces New Wrestling Move: Cup-a-Fart! Video! - "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" ain`t "My Dinner with Andre."

NTSB Apologizes for 'Inaccurate and Offensive' Asiana Pilot Names - There is sum ting wong with the egghead anchors and NTSB bureaucrats for not spotting such a transparent racially-offensive practical joke.

NBA Basketball Star Baron Davis: I Was Abducted By Ugly Aliens! UFO Lunacy? Video! - Davis` hilarious and expletive-laden account of his close encounter of the third kind while on a car trip from Las Vegas to Los Angeles is more credible than the typical UFO tall tale told by an inebriated hillbilly.

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