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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Dude Punched Self In The Face, Tried To Blame Neighbor - Moral of this story: Hate destroys. You are only hurting yourself when you hate on someone.

Singer Ryan Adams, Husband of Mandy Moore, Sees Giant UFO: Video - Adams` only claim to fame was being married to pop singer Mandy Moore; I guess he`s trying to carve out his own identity as a flying saucer nut.

Schoep, Famous Internet Dog, Dies At 20: Video - Schoep was an old blind mutt, and the most special thing about him was the loving bond between him and his owner.

Man, 72, Lifts Jeep Off His Son-in-Law - Moral of this story: Old people aren`t expendable and useless; some of them are superheroes just waiting to be summoned for help in a time of need.

Rae Dawn Chong Eviscerates Oprah Winfrey: Video - The fact that Oprah`s cable network has been an unqualified disaster, gives me hope for the future of humankind.

Should Lindsay Lohan Be Locked In A Coffin To Cure Her Of Drug Addiction? Video! - I`m old school and I believe in tough love, and if I were the director of a rehab center I would love the hell out of Lohan by locking her in a coffin for days at a time.

All Exhibits In Chinese Museum Are Fake: Video - I wouldn`t be surprised if The Great Wall of China disintegrated centuries ago, and has been replaced with a wall made of Styrofoam and lead.

MSNBC Host Chris Matthews Apologizes To Black Guest On Behalf Of All White People: Damn Idiot! Video! - Speak for yourself, you damn idiot!

Fans Pelt Rihanna With Bags Of Chips For Being Late: Video - Getting pelted with bags of chips sounds as menacing as getting lashed with a wet noodle 50 times.

One Direction: Boy Band From Hell! Video! - One Direction is an abominable boy band from England, and if you`ve never heard of them, or better yet heard them, consider yourself blessed.

Store Owner,96, Refuses To Give Robber Money, Offers Him Tootsie Rolls Instead: Video - Even when the wannabe robber flashed a knife, the elderly store owner refused to open her register drawer.

Deer Trail Considers Hunting Licenses for Drones: Video! Cool Idea! - I can`t think of a more patriotic act than shooting down an unmanned drone.

Outrage: Mom Stabs Baby 90 Times In The Face: Video! - In a perfect world she would be sentenced to breastfeed Mike Tyson right after he loses a fight.

Stevie Wonder To Boycott Florida Over George Zimmerman Verdict! Boycott Wonder? Video! - Boycott Stevie Wonder?

Black Woman Diagnosed With 'Ghetto Booty' By White Doctor: Video - Ragland needs to find a doctor with a better bedside manner, and she needs to lose some weight -- post haste.

Gentleman, 99, is Nordstrom's Only Greeter: Video - I thought the only places where you would find greeters were at Walmart stores, strip clubs, and I imagine hell has one as well.

City Slicker Complains About Topless Servers At 'Redneck Heaven' Bar - It just ain`t redneck heaven without topless waitresses.

Jenny McCarthy Will Replace Elisabeth Hasselbeck On 'The View': Video - A couple of years ago I gave up sex for good after hearing Behar, Goldberg and Barbara Walters chat about female sexual gratification.

1,200 Engage In Water Balloon Fight For Charity: Video - It`s great to see so many people having so much fun for such an awesome cause.

Wedding Reception Turns Into Family Brawl: Video - I`m surprised this incident took place in Norfolk, England and not Hicksville, Alabama.

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