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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

A Pork Chop By Any Other Name Tastes Just As Delicious - The other white meat (not Lindsay Lohan) pork is getting a make-over, or at least some fancy new names.

Amanda Bynes Is Bonkers! Video! - Dr. Robert Paul Reyes recommends that Bynes delete her Twitter account, stop reading gossip sites, stop publicly flirting with rap stars, and get in touch with a good psychiatrist.

A Goat Walks Into A Bar... - I don`t know if this incident is interesting material for an essay, but it`s certainly a promising premise for a joke.

Domino The Talking Dog Can Say: I Love You! Video! - There are many pooches waiting to be adopted at your local animal shelter. They may not be able to speak words of love, but by their actions they will express their love. Adopt a pooch today.

Nicki Minaj 'Crack Juice' Comment Ilustrates American Idol's Descent Into Gutter: Video - We reject Nicki Minaj and everything she stands for: Illuminati imagery, outlandish wigs, lack of talent, profanity, and crack juice.

Artist Jason Mecier Creates Lindsay Lohan Portrait Made Out Of Trash: Video - The garbage Lohan actually looks better than the real Lohan whose face has been ravaged by alcoholism, drug use and dubious plastic surgery.

Cat Takes Dog For A Walk: Video - Always expect the unexpected, and you will be one step ahead of everyone else.

Poll: 13 Percent Of Americans Believe Obama Is The Antichrist - Guessing the identity of the Antichrist is a parlor game popular with evangelicals, conspiracy theorists and trailer home residents.

The Associated Press Drops Term 'Illegal Immigrant' - There is no such thing as an "illegal" human being, for God's sake stop using that offensive term.

Rutgers Basketball Coach Mike Rice Fired After Homophobic Rant, Video - University president Robert Barchie, who saw the tape and signed off on the initial lenient punishment, should fire athletic director Tim Pernetti, and then promptly resign.

Dear God, Is Lindsay Lohan Pregnant? Video! - Lindsay Lohan in the film "Labor Pains" was funny; LiLo pregnant in real life would be a tragedy.

Purse Snatcher Crashes Through Plate Glass Window! Video! - If this hapless criminal attempted to steal candy from a baby, he would probably wet his drawers if the baby burped or farted.

Dudes, Would You Wear A Bacon Condom? Video! - If you date a girl with a big appetite she just might bite off your Johnson if you are wearing a bacon condom.

April Fools' Day Prank: Kid President Steps In For Obama! Video! - April Fool's: Obama will be president for the next four years.

'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' A Hit All Over The World! Video! - American TV viewers have a long history of making hits out of hillbilly shows like "Hee Haw" "The Beverly Hillbillies", "Andy Griffith" and of course "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."

Outrage: Joan Rivers Hates On Adele Because She's Chubby! Video! - Joan, honey, your face is stretched so tight, you must take Vicoden whenever you smile.

Top Ten April Fool's Day Headlines I Wish Were Real - Scientists: Donald Trump`s Hair Made out of Cotton Candy

Dude Steals 42,000 Pounds Of Wisconsin Cheese! Video! - If you`re going to steal cheese, you might as well steal Wisconsin cheese...

Russian Dude Strips To Swimming Trunks To Protest Long Winter - I hope my readers will enjoy a beautiful sunny Easter Sunday.

Heroic Tiny Pooch Goes After Pit Bull To Save Girl, 8 - Adopt a canine hero from your local animal shelter, whether he`s a big hound or a little mutt, he will love and defend you.

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