 | Sarah The Pet Chicken Swallows Diamond Earring: Fried Chicken Recipe Video - PETA should recognize Claire as Pet Lover of the Year, and send her enough chicken feed to last her eight years. |
 | Brazilian Teens Film Flying Saucer: Video! - The teens were terrified by the UFO; I`ll tell you what`s scary: Rosie O`Donnell wearing a string bikini on a beach in Brazil. |
 | Is It A Bird? A Plane? A UFO? No It's A Cloud, Fool! Video! - When I stare at cloud formations sometimes I see Miley Cyrus twerking or Lindsay Lohan doing a line of coke, but I don`t call People magazine. |
 | Norm Lopez The Cat: 26 Pounds Of Love! Video! - It doesn`t matter if you aren`t wealthy, talented or beautiful; you too can touch lives simply by being loving and loveable like Norm Lopez. |
 | Niki The Russian Cat Sits Just Like A Human Being! Video! - Many cat lovers ascribe human tendencies to their beloved pussycats, but Niki really does act like a human being. |
 | Lil Bub The Cat Meets Grumpy Cat: The Most Epic Encounter In History! Video! - This is bigger than Miley Cyrus and Beyoncé competing in a twerking face-off (butt-off?) |
 | The Righteous Slut-Shaming Of Miley Cyrus - Centuries ago a wench who made a mockery of society`s norms would have been burned at the stake. In these more enlightened times we slut-shame them, and boy did we pile it on Miley. |
 | Is ISON Comet Being Escorted To Earth By UFO's? Video! - Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and sometimes a video depicting a cigar-shaped UFO is a fake created by a dude with a really small penis. |
 | Geraldo Rivera's Appearance At University Canceled Over Semi-Nude Selfie: Video - For an old man to post a semi-nude selfie of himself online is an unpardonable sin, the second Rivera dies Satan will have his claws on him. |
 | Cops Free Skunk With Its Head Stuck In Jar: Video - The officers walked away from this incident smelling like roses, they are scholars, gentlemen, and knights in shining armor. |
 | 96-Year-Old Man's Song for Late Wife Goes Viral: 'Oh Sweet Lorraine' Video - Oh Sweet Lorraine is number seven on US iTunes and has 2 million YouTube views. |
 | Bank Robber Fell Down 21 Stories In Garbage Chute - The hapless bank robber is in critical condition, and it pains me that taxpayer money is being used to nurse this human waste back to health. |
 | Bill Murray Channels Liberace For 'Letterman' Appearance: Video - I thought Murray was dead; it`s not a good idea to remind your fans that you are still alive by channeling a dead entertainer. |
 | Miley Cyrus' Next Step In Her Devolution: Adult Movie? Video! - Miley sucks as an actress and a singer, maybe her real talent is in the world of adult entertainment. |
 | Sisters Find 260K In Dead Brother's Couch - Moral of this story: Finder's keepers |
 | Foam Finger Inventor: Miley Cyrus Has Degraded Honorable Sports Icon - By now every aspect of Miley Cyrus` decadent performance at the MTV VMA`s has been analyzed, discussed, and criticized ad nauseum.
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 | Meet Colonel Meow, Cat with Longest Fur: Video - This feline celeb is the cat`s meow, Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber would be well-advised to bow down and give him his props. |
 | Valerie Harper (Rhoda Morgenstern) Joins 'Dancing With The Stars' Cast: Video - DWTS usually features third-rate stars; it`s great that a legend in the business will be competing this year. |
 | Detroit Woman Vandalizes Cell Phone Store & Moons Clerk - For any entrepreneur who is contemplating opening a business in the bankrupt city of Detroit, this is the type of customer you will have to deal with every day. |
 | Miley Cyrus Tweets Booty Pics: Video! Have Mercy Girlfriend! - Enough already! Miley can`t sing, dance and her booty don't pop. |
