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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Paris Hilton: I'm Not An Airhead! Video! - The pop tart`s simple mind is the least of her faults; she should be more concerned about her reputation as a skanky party girl.

Cops To Hand Out Doritos At Hempfest 2013: Video - With all that marijuana smoke wafting through the air at Hempfest, I predict that a spirit of brotherhood will prevail, and even the cops will be blowing bubbles and dancing with strangers.

Outrage: Chinese Zoo Showcases Dog as African Lion, Video! - I will never, ever, vacation in a country where everything is either counterfeit or made out of lead. I will never, ever visit a nation where dog meat is served in restaurants.

Bigfoot's Cave at Russian Park Draws Visitors - Let`s show the Russians how capitalists roll, and let`s designate a cave in the Pacific Northwest as the real home of the legendary creatures.

Oprah Winfrey Falsely Accuses Sales Clerk Of Racism: Video - Oprah Winfrey is just miffed that the sales clerk didn`t recognize her, Oprah probably expected the clerk to genuflect when she entered the boutique.

Daffy Security Guard Mistakes Rain Droplet On Camera Lens For Scary UFO:Video - Debralee Thomas is giving guards and UFO nuts a bad name. Girlfriend needs to hook up with me; I`ll make her forget all about rain droplets and UFO`s.

Boy, 10, Grabs Steering Wheel From Passed-Out Great Grandma: Video - Kudos to Gryffin Sanders, he is a gentleman, scholar and a hero!

Portuguese Court: Drinking On The Job Can Be Beneficial - A lot of Americans work in coma-inducing jobs in the cubicle jungle, and the least their employees can do is look the other way when they light up a doobie in the break room.

Blasphemy! YouTube Video Depicts Little Boy Praying To Obama - The scales aren`t going to fall from the eyes of Stephen, Jamie Foxx, Chris Matthews and millions of other Obama lovers until decades from now when they wake up to the fact that we are living in a totalitarian nightmare in large part thanks to their Messiah.

Vandals Douse Iowa State Fair's Beloved Butter Cow in Red Paint: Video - There is nothing more all-American than the Iowa State Fair, and there isn`t a more loved and iconic attraction at the fair than the butter cow.

Carlos Danger & Client No. 9: Reprobates Bring Shame To New York City! Video - New York City will survive the spectacle of a mayoral candidate who has a penchant for photographing his private parts and a candidate for comptroller who is running against his former madam.

Kidnapping Victim Hannah Anderson Reunited With Dad & Cat: Video - With her father by her side, and her cat in her lap, Hannah can begin the long journey to healing and recovery.

Amanda Bynes Reunited With Her Pooch: Video - Thirty minutes with the adorable canine will do Amanda Bynes a lot more good than 30 days in rehab.

Eydie Gorme, Dies At 84 - Eydie Gorme is the antithesis of the modern pop star. There`s no record she ever wore a dress made out of meat, her vocals didn`t need to be enhanced by auto-tune, she never flashed her nether regions, and she never had a public feud with another singer.

Hannah Anderson Alive! Murderer, Pervert James DiMaggio Shot Dead By FBI: Video - Let`s hope the media will allow Brett and Hannah to grieve and recuperate in private.

Lawyer Suspended For Prostitution: Video - Lawyers charge and arm and a leg, I can`t believe Reema had sex in exchange for only office supplies and DVD`s.

Lindsay Lohan Parties With Max George of 'The Wanted' 'Till 7am: Video Some Rehab! - Did anyone expect Lohan to become a den mother to a British Boy Scout troop upon her release from rehab?

Max-Arthur the Roomba Cat & His Hot Owner Celebrate Shark Week:Video - Helen and Max-Arthur are adorable, and I hope there will be many more videos featuring this telegenic pair.

Cross-Dressing British Jewel Thief Gets 10 Years - Who would have thunk that a successful jewel burglary ring would involve a dude dressed in drag and two sledgehammer toting gentlemen?

Thieves Return Stolen Computers To Nonprofit With Apology Note: Video - I`m a cynic, but I`m giving the non-profit the benefit of the doubt that this isn`t an elaborate publicity stunt.

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