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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Video! Madness: Crazy Woman Calls 911 For Cigarettes - Jividen may have thought she was making the deputies the butt of her joke, but it was her butt that landed in jail.

Missing Welsh Boy, 5, Discovered Under Beanbag Chair - This story is shocking beyond comprehension; I thought beanbag chairs had gone out of style decades ago.

Nicki Minaj Has Destroyed 'American Idol'! - The new American Idol is as fake as Minaj`s wigs, and as entertaining as one of the rap diva`s pedestrian songs.

Rooster, White Duck And Mallard: BFF - Birds of a feather flock together, but sometimes misfits bond together.

Ashley Judd For President Of the United States - Minority Leader Mitch McConnell's scowl is etched on his face, he always looks like he is sucking on a lemon while a proctologist is giving him a rectal exam.

New Study: Unhealthy For Airplane Passengers To Hold It In! Fart Away! - A woman`s fart smells worse than a man`s. So why is it that every time somebody farts at the dinner table, it`s poor dad who gets blamed?

NJ Assemblyman Charles Mainor Likes Big Butts On Facebook - In a perfect world Mainor would get knocked the hell out by a big butt constituent.

Gun Owners Get A Discount At Virginia Pizza Restaurant - Advice for Jay Laze: Dude, pizza is fun food. You will ruin the fun atmosphere with your asinine promotion.

Fashionista Alert! Postal Service To Launch Trendy Clothing Line - What hipster dude wouldn`t want to look like that chump from Cheers, Cliff Craven?

Would You Rent A Fake Facebook Girlfriend For $250 A Week? - A fake girlfriend isn`t exactly cheap to rent at $750 for a three-month commitment, but she`s a lot less expensive than a real girlfriend.

Dutch Dude Selling Mammoth Skeleton For $367,895 - Nobody is going to buy the damn thing, unless there`s an image of Jesus Christ on one of the bones.

Old Ladies Go Postal At Bingo Game Over Sale Of Avon Products - Never spit in the wind, don`t tug on Superman`s cape and don`t disturb a senior citizen when she is getting her Bingo on.

Kate Middleton: Plastic Mannequin With Dead Eyes, No Soul and No Charm! - Enough already about Kate Middleton, I`d rather read about Lindsay Lohan`s skanky shenanigans or Honey Boo Boo`s endearing country bumpkin antics.

Lady Making Out With Boyfriend Crashes Car Into House - You`ve heard of "Don`t drink and drive", well don`t get amorous and drive either.

Couple Steals Toilet Parts From McDonald's Restaurant - I don`t know what`s worse: Eating a greasy burger and calorie-laden fries at McDonald`s or entering the grease pit only to steal toilet parts.

Video! Guinness World Record For Cartwheels Set In Virginia Beach! - Nothing symbolizes the carefree attitude of youth more than a cartwheel.

We Are A Nation Of Workaholics! Call In Sick And Have Fun - Damn this workaholic nation straight to hell, lighten up people. Do the right thing, and schedule a date for Friday, and call in sick!

Video! San Francisco's Fabulous Valentine's Day Pillow Fight! - There is something magical about a pillow fight, every city, town and village in America should follow San Francisco`s example and stage their own pillow fight.

Video! Giant Sculpture of Peeing Dog A Masterpiece? - Kudos to Jackson for his accessible, playful, delightful and charming work of art.

Video! Mariska, The Houdini Horse, An Internet Sensation! - Houdini`s nimble fingers allowed him to escape from almost any lock, but Mariska accomplishes her amazing escapes using only her mouth.

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