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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Lindsay Lohan Seeking Help From Spiritual Guru! Sign of The End Times? - If LiLo brought back Mother Teresa from the dead, and convinced her to be a character witness on her behalf, the troubled starlet is still going to end up behind bars.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan: I Don't Do Bar Mitzvahs! - The only public personal appearance that Lohan should make is at a hardshell Baptist Church that believes in burning witches.

Did LiLo Clog Toilet On Set Of 'Scary Movie 5'? Hello, Lohan Is Full of Crap! - Charlie Sheen, it`s time to clean up Lohan`s mess again!

Popularity Of 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' Inspires Mad Rush For Hillbilly-Themed Adult Movies - There`s a real correlation between the popularity of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", and the increase in white-trash porn titles.

Madness: New Zealand Bus Shelter Converted To Comfy Lounge! - Whether in Brooklyn, New York or Brooklyn, New Zealand, a bus shelter is one of the scuzziest places on Earth.

Is Kanye West Too Gay For The Rap Game? - Dude; come out of the closet, kick Kardashian to the curb, and you might find acceptance in the hip hop community.

Outrage: Lady Accused Of Using Human Bone As Sex Toy - I have a bone to pick with this lady, she should buy vibrators from the Internet like most respectable women.

End Of The World Is Nigh: Thousands Of Santas Gather In Trafalgar Square! - Thousands of Santas = End of the World!

Outrage: Dingo Who Stole Lady's Cash & Valuables Murdered - If you are visiting the land Down Under, hold on to your baby tightly, keep your valuables secure, and give dingoes a wide berth.

Birdbrain Chicago Alderman Proposes $1,000 Fine For Feeding Pigeons - Cappelman`s proposed law is for the birds, the voters of Chicago should kick this birdbrain to the curb.

Dude Arrested For Speeding With 2nd Man On Hood - Maybe Honey Boo Boo threw one of the drunkards on the hood of the car, and told the other one to get the hell out of Dodge.

End Of The World Is Nigh! Where Do You Want To Eat Your Last Meal? - Where do you want to eat your last meal? Send us your suggestions.

How To Set A Record For A Zombie Gathering - I`m ready for the Zombie Apocalypse. I have plenty of beer, a shotgun, and the complete first season on DVD of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."

Dude Tried To Drown Wife In Dog Bowl Over Undercooked Pizza - I can understand the man slamming his plate against the front door, but trying to kill his wife over an undercooked pizza is taking things a bit too far.

Teen Burglar Steals 4 Gallons Of Honey! Why, Dear God, Why? - I can understand the typical Russian household having gallons of vodka, but who on Earth would keep gallons of honey in his home?

Sandy Hook School Shooting: How Do We Respond To Mindless Violence? - My advice: hug your children a little bit tighter, hold on to your guns, and reach out in love and empathy to the victims of this mindless assault on decency and our humanity.

Judge Orders Dude To Pay $28,109.60 Strip Club Tab! Loser! - The law can`t protect a dude from letting his genitals do all the thinking for him.

Polish Dude Mistakes Hot Iron For Phone: Burns His Face! - I promise no "Dumb Pollack" jokes!

Video: Jesus Christ Kicked To The Curb At Darts Tournament - No room for Jesus Christ at a darts tournament.

Only Dweebs Go Overboard With Christmas Decorations! - A simple wreath will suffice!

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