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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Is Taylor Swift The Worst Country Singer In History? Yes! Dear God, Yes! - Swift`s output can best be compared to a hot steaming heap of cow dung

Miracle: Stolen Baby Jesus Returns To Church A Year Later - I imagine there will be a lot of "Buffys" who will make a pilgrimage to the church to worship the Baby Jesus.

Dude Shoots Girlfriend: She Didn't Believe In Zombie Apocalypse - Jessica is the crazy person, how could she miss all the signs pointing to a zombie apocalypse?

Video: Australian Prime Minister Warns Of Zombie, K-Pop Apocalypse - The Australians have Julia Gillard to prepare them for the Apocalypse, we have Obama. We`re screwed.

Outrage: Office Complex Bans Poinsettias For Sake Of One Employee - I hope the Bell Canada employees refuse to be bullied and show up to work wearing poinsettias on their hair or lapels.

Outrage: Paris Hilton Visits Hindu Temple - Paris please stay away from holy cities and temples; it`s OK if you visit only bars and clubs.

Honey Boo Boo Child Makes Barbara Walters' 'Most Fascinating' List - Don`t be distracted by the bad grammar, poor hygiene, appalling diet or redneck tomfoolery, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" is all about love.

Mike Tyson Once Caught Brad Pitt Sleeping With Ex-Wife Robin Givens - Givens is hot, or at least she was back in 1988, but no piece of pie is worth risking losing your life.

Citizens Who Aren't Polite Will Be Ejected From French Town Hall - You can`t legislate morality or etiquette; I hope the good people of Lheraule curse the mayor for his stupidity.

Wrestler Eric Hartsburg To Remove Facial Tattoo Of Mitt Romney Logo - The only thing worse that tattooing the name of your girlfriend on your butt, is tattooing the name of a politician on your face.

Town Hires Security Guards To Protect Evil 4-Story Straw Goat - I plead with the solid citizens of Gavle, Sweden to burn the straw monstrosity to the ground.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan In Trouble With The IRS! Finally Her Goose Is Cooked! - Let`s hope that the IRS will be able to put Lohan behind bars.

Foppish Pop Star Adam Levine Hates On Honey Boo Boo Child - Honey Boo Boo Child and her clan are the epitome of family values.

Pope Benedict Joins Twitter: God Weeps, Satan Laughs, Good Folks Vent Their Anger! - In 140 characters or less tell the Pope how much the Catholic Church sucks.

Study: Ladies More Likely Than Men To Check Women Out - Women are so busy taking mental notes of other women that sometimes they fail to take notice of studs, like yours truly.

Outrage: 400-Pound Metal Gorilla Stolen From Hotel Pool - There must have been at least one hotel quest who exclaimed: I must have downed too many shots of whiskey, I don't see the giant gorilla!

Two Dudes Shoplift 300 Pairs of Victoria's Secret Panties - Victoria`s Secret seems to operate on the principle that the less material they use on a pair of panties, the more they will charge.

LOL! Paris Hilton Brags On Twitter About DJ Gig In India! - At one time (Pre-Kim Kardashian) Paris Hilton was the biggest star in reality TV and in the unreal world of Hollywood.

Islamists Protest Opening Of Kim Kardashian Milkshake Store In Bahrain - Kardashian`s milkshake brings all the Islamists, cops and boys to the yard.

Lady Beats Boyfriend With Foam-Rubber Bat, Then Switches To Aluminum Bat - If a man comes home before the rooster crows, his lady should spread rose petals from the front door to the bedroom.

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