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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Secret Service Pooch Falls To Death While Protecting Joe Biden - The hapless people who endured Biden`s speech must feel awful knowing a brave pooch gave his life so that the Vice President could ramble on like an idiot on crack.

Teens Were Playing 'Call Of Duty', Passerby Thought Somebody Was Being Murderded, Cops Called - Give the kids a break, there`s nothing to do in Sweden but complain about the snow, fantasize about living somewhere else and play violent video games.

Facebook Users Save Gay Dog From Euthanization - The gay pooch has been adopted by a person associated with a rescue/shelter group.

Aimi Jones 'Accidentally' Posted Naked Pic On eBay Posing With Ugly Yellow Dress - Jones realizes that sex sells, and what better way to sell a yellow mustard dress than by posing nude with the ugly thing?

Shazam! Jim Nabors Marries Long-Time Boyfriend! - There are probably a lot of blue-haired old country gals who are exclaiming: Shazam, I didn`t know Jim was gay.

Is Honey Boo Boo's Dad, Sugar Bear, The Sexiest Man In America? - Sugar Bear is the ideal husband, I wouldn`t be surprised if he gets thousands of emails from adoring female fans.

NFL Should Suspend San Francisco 49ers Chris Culliver For His Anti-Gay Rant - I`m sure gay Niners are as common as grammar-challenged players.

The More Housework Married Men Do, The Less Sex They Have - This may sound sexist but if a man does manly things around the house, and a woman keeps the place clean, harmony and good sex will prevail.

Stinky Family Kicked Out of Paris Museum - All I`m asking for is a little common sense; nobody should be allowed to enter any public building if he smells like a portable restroom.

Hungry Burglar Gets 3 1/2 Years For Raiding Homeowner's Fridge - If the man was hungry he should have gone to a soap kitchen, instead of causing damage to a home by taking a window out if its frame and raiding the homeowner`s fridge.

Florida Man Scared Silly Over Baby Alligator On Doorstep - You would be right to be shocked if you found Bigfoot taking a dump on your doorstep or the Loch Ness Monster swimming in your pool, but it ain`t a big thing to find a trespassing gator in Florida.

The Brolly Umbrella: For Tech Savvy Hipsters - I`ve been considering buying an iPhone as a chick magnet, but I think I will keep my android phone and buy a Brolly umbrella instead.

Is Bubble Wrap The Greatest Invention In History? - I don`t care what my friends get me for Bubble Warp Appreciation Day ", as long as they wrap my gift in Bubble Wrap.

Rapper Rick Ross Crashes Rolls Royce Into Building After Dozens Of Shots Fired - Congratulations Rick Ross, crashing in the building is the biggest hit you`ve had in years.

Woman, 71, Arrested For Prostitution! - I know it`s tough trying to make ends meet on Social Security, but does this old bird really need to resort to prostitution?

Video: How Honey Boo Boo's Parents Sugar Bear and Mama Met - We`re all familiar with Romeo and Juliet,and Anthony and Cleopatra, but have you ever wondered how Mama and Sugar Bear first met?

Gunbrella: An Umbrella That Looks Like A Rifle, And Can Get You Killed! - Gunbrellas don`t kill people, it`s clueless cops who mistake a gunbrella for a real gun who kill people sporting a gunbrella.

Stop The Insanity! Old Lady, 80, Drives Home In Wrong Car! - When a person reaches age 65 his license should be confiscated, and he should only drive a bumper car in a seedy carnival.

Video:PTC Complains Kate Upton Mercedes-Benz Commercial Too Sexy - The Parents Television Council is tilting at windmills.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Turns Down Offer To Compete On DWTS - It could be that Lohan simply can`t dance without a stripper pole. Without a pole on stage she simply won`t know what to do with her legs.

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