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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Outrage: Dingo Who Stole Lady's Cash & Valuables Murdered - If you are visiting the land Down Under, hold on to your baby tightly, keep your valuables secure, and give dingoes a wide berth.

Birdbrain Chicago Alderman Proposes $1,000 Fine For Feeding Pigeons - Cappelman`s proposed law is for the birds, the voters of Chicago should kick this birdbrain to the curb.

Dude Arrested For Speeding With 2nd Man On Hood - Maybe Honey Boo Boo threw one of the drunkards on the hood of the car, and told the other one to get the hell out of Dodge.

End Of The World Is Nigh! Where Do You Want To Eat Your Last Meal? - Where do you want to eat your last meal? Send us your suggestions.

How To Set A Record For A Zombie Gathering - I`m ready for the Zombie Apocalypse. I have plenty of beer, a shotgun, and the complete first season on DVD of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."

Dude Tried To Drown Wife In Dog Bowl Over Undercooked Pizza - I can understand the man slamming his plate against the front door, but trying to kill his wife over an undercooked pizza is taking things a bit too far.

Teen Burglar Steals 4 Gallons Of Honey! Why, Dear God, Why? - I can understand the typical Russian household having gallons of vodka, but who on Earth would keep gallons of honey in his home?

Sandy Hook School Shooting: How Do We Respond To Mindless Violence? - My advice: hug your children a little bit tighter, hold on to your guns, and reach out in love and empathy to the victims of this mindless assault on decency and our humanity.

Judge Orders Dude To Pay $28,109.60 Strip Club Tab! Loser! - The law can`t protect a dude from letting his genitals do all the thinking for him.

Polish Dude Mistakes Hot Iron For Phone: Burns His Face! - I promise no "Dumb Pollack" jokes!

Video: Jesus Christ Kicked To The Curb At Darts Tournament - No room for Jesus Christ at a darts tournament.

Only Dweebs Go Overboard With Christmas Decorations! - A simple wreath will suffice!

OMG! Two Men Arrested Over Plan To Castrate & Murder Justin Bieber! - Millions of young girls are breathing a sigh of relief.

Deadbeat Lindsay Lohan's Storage Unit To Be Auctioned Off! What In God's Name Is In It? - I hope that moron Charlie Sheen won`t rescue Lilo again; we want to know what`s in her locker.

Wonderful Sight: 50-foot Rubber Ducky Floats Down River Thames - A rubber ducky is a totemic object that is cherished by tots and adults.

Google Anoints Honey Boo Boo Child 'Queen Of Reality TV Stars' - If in a couple of years Honey Boo Boo dies from a drug OD or alcohol poisoning, all of her obituaries should acknowledge that she was the Queen of Reality TV Stars.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan's Probation Revoked - Now that the pop tart`s probation has been revoked she should immediately be dispatched to jail.

Stray Pooch And Orphaned Deer Become Best Friends - Visit an animal shelter and adopt a pet, a puppy or a kitten will bring you much happiness.

Video: Fake TV Designed To Fool Stupid Burglars - Buy a real German Shepherd, his barking will deter any burglars prowling around your neighborhood.

Dude Builds Nativity Scene Made Out Of Potato Chips - A nativity scene that's good enough to eat.

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