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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Video: Lululemon Recalls Expensive See-Through Yoga Pants - Ladies, just buy a pair of sweatpants for $10 at Walmart, and give the money you save to charity.

Video! House Across From Anti-Gay Westboro Baptist Church Painted Colors Of Rainbow - The little house has been painted the colors of the rainbow and it is an aesthetic delight and a life-affirming statement against bigotry and intolerance.

Video! Octomom (Nadya Suleman) Investigated For Welfare Fraud - Octomom deserves to rot behind bars, and her children deserve to be placed in good homes

Video! Brit Shoots Off Finger With Shotgun To Get Rid Of Wart - I hope Murphy doesn't get a wart on his nose.

Video! Dude Discovers Image Of Jesus Christ On Drop Cloth - Is it any wonder televangelists make a fortune selling holy water and other Jesus junk?

Video! Human Statue Punches Effete Tourist - This video has garnered over seven million views; obviously folks enjoy watching the street performer teaching the creep a lesson.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Accepts Sweet Plea Deal: 90 Days In Rehab - Lohan, this humble pop culture critic can`t wait until you are released from rehab, I trust you will continue to provide plenty of fodder for dozens more articles.

The Devil In 'The Bible' Looks Just Like Barack Obama - Joe Biden makes the perfect foil for Barack Obama, he`s the court jester who provides comic relief and distracts us from Obama`s evil machinations.

Video! Rock God David Bowie Tops UK Charts With New Album - Bowie can teach Lady Gaga a thing or two about shock and awe, he can school Nicki Minaj on the subject of alternate egos, and he can make Kanye`s head spin when it comes to making a fashion statement.

American Idol Must Fire Nicki Minaj - Minaj with her Illuminati imagery and her ghetto sensibilities was a bad fit for a family-oriented program.

Russian Orthodox Group Wants Alaska Back! Take Sarah Palin Also! - I`m not sure exactly how Obama`s embrace of marriage equality invalidates the 1867 sale of Alaska, but you can`t expect logic and reason from religious fanatics.

Video! Google Glass: Most Controversial High-Tech Gadget In History - I will not consider anyone who wears the high-tech eyewear as human; they will be anathema to those of us who cherish our humanity.

Video! Pop Tart Paris Hilton Will Soon Release New Album - The pop tart made her recording debut in 2006 with Paris ", and I was hoping that the world would end in 2012 to spare us from her follow-up effort, but we weren't so fortunate.

OMG! Check Out Honey Boo Boo Child Doing The Harlem Shake! - It's the End of the World as we know it; watch video of Honey Boo Boo doing the Harlem Shake!

Happy St. Patrick's Day To All My Readers! - The vast majority of Americans will pay homage to Irish culture by downing dozens of green beers and dancing a jig while drunk out of our gourds.

Illuminati Puppet Nicki Minaj Late For Live American Idol Show - Say no to the Illuminati princess; say no to the greedy producers who wrecked a show that used to be family-oriented; say no to reality TV nonsense and filth.

Mama June Shannon, Honey Boo Boo's Mom, Writing A Cookbook - If you want to enjoy life like Mama buy her cookbook, but if you don`t want to look like a baby hippo this may not be the cookbook for you.

Nadya Suleman (Octomom) Has A License To Smoke Weed - Octomom you made your bed, now lie in it with your 14 kids, and marijuana cookies

Mama (Honey Boo Boo Child's Mom) Writing A Book - Mama dear, we don`t expect you to be a Renaissance woman; all we expect from you is to belch, fart, and stuff your mouth on TV for our edification and entertainment.

Idiot Bank Robber Gets Away With No Loot, Just Lollipops - Maybe this creep will have better luck stealing candy from babies.

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