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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Pooch Shoots Owner, Shooting Ruled Accidental - Police have ruled the shooting accidental, brilliant deduction; I don`t think a pooch would bite the hand that feeds him or intentionally shoot his master in the leg.

Drunk Dude Discovers Pearl In Oyster - The only moral that I can glean from this interesting tale is that God blesses gentleman who imbibe with impunity.

Erik Estrada Stars In Syfy Movie 'Chupacabra Vs The Alamo' - CHiPs was great campy fun, but "Chupacabra vs The Alamo" has the potential to be a fantastic popcorn and weed movie.

Video! Miss Delaware Teen USA Gives Up Tiara After Adult Movie Surfaces! - Miss Delaware Teen USA not only had to relinquish her tiara, but she also lost good name. Learn from her mistake, and don`t post any questionable images online.

OMG! Police Find 100 Bags Of Cocaine In Drug Dealer's Rear End - You don`t have the option of complaining to the Better Business Bureau if you discover that your friendly neighborhood drug dealer has a penchant for storing drugs up his wazoo.

School Bus Driver Steals And Sells School Bus - Greenlee has been fired by the school district, maybe he can make a living as a taxi driver.

Video! Court Order: You Must Walk While You Whistle In Portland, Maine - I will put up with the homeless defecating on the streets, but there is no way anybody should have to endure a man whistling on a street corner.

Stop The Insanity! Lady Gets Hand Stuck In Glove Compartment, Calls 911 - Why is the small storage compartment in a vehicle referred to as a "glove compartment?"

Video! 'Million Moms' Upset By Geico Ad Featuring Maxwell The Piggy - A million anthropomorphized pigs will fly out of my rear end before the Million Moms develop a sense of humor and chill out.

Quvenzhane Wallis To Play Annie In the Movie Musical - You may not be able to pronounce or spell Quvezhane ", but you will be hearing her name a lot in the coming years and decades.

Outrage! The Onion Posts Vulgar & Crude Tweet About Quvenzhane Wallis - The Onion`s apology is self-serving and inadequate, the author of that vile tweet needs to publicly apologize.

Kid, 10, Calls 911 To Protest Early Bedtime! Cops Should Have Spanked Him! - If this kid`s friends google him, they are going to burst out laughing when they find out his bedtime is 8 p.m.

Paris Hilton's Career In Shambles - I wouldn`t pay Hilton $20 to attend my birthday party, even if she promised to appear clad only in her birthday suit.

Video! Lindsay Lohan Heaps Love On Great New Band: The Mowgli's - LiLo's recommendation of this hot new band more than makes up for all her criminal activity and serial flashing of her nether regions.

Doctor Gives Female Patient Sex Toy! It's Probably Covered Under Obamacare - The doctor has been fired, and as for the lady, methinks she needs a psychiatrist more than a general practitioner.

Stop The Insanity: Lady, 42, Clobbers 82-Year-Old Boyfriend - The woman, who didn`t even have a scratch, claimed that she acted in self-defense.

Grocery Store Removes 'Offensive' Obama Chicken Ad - Michelle Obama, who is a health food advocate, would probably give her blessing to an ad featuring her husband touting organic chicken.

Video! Madness: Crazy Woman Calls 911 For Cigarettes - Jividen may have thought she was making the deputies the butt of her joke, but it was her butt that landed in jail.

Missing Welsh Boy, 5, Discovered Under Beanbag Chair - This story is shocking beyond comprehension; I thought beanbag chairs had gone out of style decades ago.

Nicki Minaj Has Destroyed 'American Idol'! - The new American Idol is as fake as Minaj`s wigs, and as entertaining as one of the rap diva`s pedestrian songs.

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