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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Lady Calls 911 To Thank Sheriff For Bologna Sandwich - If the correctional officers are smart they won`t serve Brown her favorite sandwich, after all they don`t want her using 911 to call the sheriff when she`s released from jail.

Video: Woman Sets Soda Machine On Fire After It Swallows Her Money - If this oxygen thief lost her temper with an inanimate object, image how she would react if she got into an argument with a hapless stranger.

Video! Newsflash: Honey Boo Boo Child Endorses Barack Obama - If Obama gives a "Shout Out" to Honey Boo Boo during tonight`s debate, he will win over the audience.

Insanity Prevails In South Africa - South Africa is a failed nation, AIDS, crime and corruption run rampant, and insanity prevails.

'Pepper Spray Princess' Famous For Attacking Teen With Jalapeno Pepper Spray - I can already hear some folks arguing that if jalapenos are outlawed only outlaws will have jalapenos.

Honey Boo Boo Child Not A Fad, She Will Be A Star For Decades! - If Honey Boo Boo Child doesn`t burn out, she will be a star for decades to come.

Dog-Poop Bags Feature Images Of Barack Obama & Mitt Romney - Obama and Romney are both full of crap, it would be appropriate for bags with an image of either presidential candidate to be full of excrement.

Bold Bears Steal Honey From Beekeeping Farm - You don`t have to be a Sherlock Holmes to solve this caper, even Barney Fife could figure out who stole the honey at the Ballard Bee Company.

Video: Kathie Lee Gifford Drops Puppy On Its Head! - Pooches are very discerning creatures, and when the pup was picked up by Kathie Lee Gifford the poor thing reacted as if he were in the clutches of Cruella Deville.

Obama Fails To Condemn Nicki Minaj For Threatening To Kill Mariah Carey - I will not vote for Obama, and I will never watch American Idol again.

Lindsay Lohan Endorses Mitt Romney! I'm Sure Obama Is Devastated! - I would be shocked if Lohan is registered to vote...

There Is A God! Octopus Attacks Woman Riding An Aquabike! - This world is insane; I'm praying it will end December 21, 2012

Tanning Mom Challenges Octomom To Boxing Match! Which Freak Would Win? - Who the hell would spend good money to watch these two freaks fight?

Honey Boo Boo's Niece, Baby Kaitlyn, Enters First Beauty Contest - Three thumbs up for Baby Kaitlyn!

Dude Using Propane Torch To Cook Squirrel Starts Apartment Fire - This moron should never again be allowed to live in an apartment, he should be locked up in a jail cell or forced to live in the woods.

Debate Video: Is Joe Biden Stark Raving Bonkers? - I am scared stiff of Joe, I don't want him picking up my trash, let alone being one heartbeat away from becoming the President of the United States.

Video: Christopher Walken & Colin Farrell Recite Honey Boo Boo Dialogue - America needs to sit in front of the boob tube, fix a mess of sketti, and watch "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", and recite the dialogue along with Honey Boo Boo.

Don't Be A Wimp! Play Hooky From Work! - Don`t be a wimp; you have a constitutional right to play hooky.

Insanity: Old Dude Steals Ambulance To Get Home From Hospital - If you survive to the age of 77 you have carte blanche to do whatever the hell you want.

Shocking Photo: Sarah Palin Looks Like A Crackhead On Her Deathbed - It won`t be long before Palin will tweet lingerie pics, and have a couple of wardrobe malfunctions.

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