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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

TMI: Al Roker Admits Pooping Pants At White House - Al Roker is totally clueless and unfamiliar with the concept of TMI. " In a perfect world nobody should have known that ten years ago Roker pooped his pants at an event in the White House.

Poll: Cockroaches And Nickelback More Popular Than Congress - Nothing kills a romantic mood more quickly than playing "Afternoon Delight" or any Nickelback song.

David Bowie's New Masterpiece Video: Where Are We Now? - Listening to Bowie walking the dead is a hell of a lot more entertaining, and educational than putting up with the auto-tuned cacophony that passes for mass entertainment these days.

Catmoji: New Social Networking Site for Cats A Big Hit - My cat just sent me an Instant Message: That`s me meowing! I need some attention!

Second Inquest Confirms Amy Winehouse Died of Alcohol Poisoning - You don`t have to be a coroner or a rocket scientist to conclude or deduce that Amy Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning.

Brent Musburger's Obsession With Katherine Webb Creepier Than Hell! - As a result of the Musburger controversy, thousands have joined Katherine Webb`s Twitter feed, and thousands more have added Musburger to a dead celeb pool.

Suspect Returns To McDonald's To Buy Burger 3 Months After Robbery - I`m surprised this character wasn`t arrested by the etiquette police; it`s in bad form to go through the drive-through of a fast food joint that you robbed a few months before.

Bank Robber To Cops: Tired Of Seeing People Younger Than Him Driving Newer Cars - I don`t care what kind of vehicles my neighbors are driving, as long as they don`t decide to take my car for a spin.

Hero Mother Of 9-Year-Old Twins Shoots Intruder - Don`t be a victim or a statistic; buy a gun to protect yourself, your loved ones and your possessions.

Prisoners In Brazil Train Cat To Assist In Prison Break - I can`t train my cat to bring me my slippers, change the remote, or surf the Internet, but these crafty prisoners were able to train cats to smuggle cell phones into prison.

Is Justin Bieber Close To A Breakdown? - Don`t stop believing in the Bieb, eventually he will sort out his problems, be able to grow a goatee, and find true love with Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus or Honey Boo Boo`s sister.

Subway Employee Fired Over Refusing To Give Customer Ketchup - In an ideal world the customer should have left the Subway restaurant a satisfied customer with Philly Cheese and ketchup dribbling down his chin.

Dude Wearing Ratty Sweatpants, And Riding A Bike Steals $1.29 Honey Bun - It looks like the smart coppers in Florida have solved another caper, they`ve earned their cups of 7-Eleven coffee, and their Slim Jims today!

Vibrating Electric Toothbrush Alarms Airplane Passengers - Who wants to be delayed for half an hour, because an idiot forgot to turn off his toothbrush?

First Grader's "Finger Gun" Suspension Reversed! - Our children will be OK as long as we let them use their imaginations, and let them have a little bit of fun.

Two Oompa Loompas Beat Holy Crap Out Of Man - I just can`t believe that an evil Leprechaun didn`t steal this dude`s wallet and tinkle on his shoes.

'Fortunate' The Cat Recovers From 80-Foot Drop - Fortunate must have at least one life left, and she will bring many years of happiness to a cat lover.

The Quick Rise And Fall Of Frank Ocean - Ocean should hire a driver, clean up his messy habits, forget about all the false praise that`s been heaped on him, and try to make something of himself as an R & B singer.

Cougar Clobbers Clueless Clod For Failing To Make Her Climax - As punishment the correctional officers should tell her that she is entitled to a 3-minute conjugal visit with her young boyfriend.

Tiny Tim The Adorable Chubby Cat Loses Almost 7 Pounds! - Be healthy and happy like Tiny Tim, stop procrastinating and go on a diet.


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