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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Airline Creates Baby-Free Seating Zones - Why not take this idea to its logical conclusion: A baby-free flight!

Video: Miracle Dog Tonik Has Human Face! God Knows I'm Not Lying! - I would kill to adopt this pooch!

Student, 7, Suspended For Tossing Imaginary Grenade Into Box Of Pretend Evil - School administrators should have given Alex an imaginary scolding, a pretend suspension, and a very real hug for his noble ambition of trying to save the world from evil.

Dude Accidentally Sets His Johnson On Fire With Flare Gun - Perez is only 23, and hopefully he will recover from the burns to his genital area, get married and become a father.

Grammy Awards To Female Artists: No Boobs Or Buttocks - I can tolerate a wardrobe malfunction or two, what I can`t abide is singers lip synching or no-talent artists rewarded with a Grammy award.

Video: Black Parents Sue Disneyland, Claim White Rabbit Refused To Hug Their Kids - America isn`t a post-racial society and there are many legitimate incidents of racial discrimination, but cases like this make a mockery of all claims of racial discrimination.

Chris Christie's Weight Problem A Personal Problem And National Disgrace - Thank goodness Dr. Mariano has the boldness to speak truth to power; instead of getting his panties in a twist Christie should thank the good doctor for her stern warning.

Library Offers Free Pole-Dancing Class To Entice Visitors! - Why drive to the library, when as soon as you walk through the door, you will be assaulted by the vile stench of homeless mucking up the place.

Will Jodi Arias' Delicate Hands Save Her From The Death Penalty? - Jodi was cool as a cucumber, calm as a sleeping baby, and as demure as a nun. I was hypnotized by her soft voice, reassured by her glasses, and I was mesmerized by her delicate hands.

Video: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Is Way Too Fat To Be President - Christie should forget about running for president, and concentrate on running around the track until he loses about 300 pounds.

Construction Worker Falls 30 Feet On Pile Of Bubble Wrap, Spared From Serious Injuries! - Bubble Wrap, one of humankind`s greatest inventions, right up there with the invention of the wheel and the Internet.

Acting Legend Robert Redford Boots Pop Tart Paris Hilton From Sundance - Thank you Robert Redford for taking a stand against evil!

Miracle: Florida Dude Finds Beer Case With Image Of Jesus! - Truluck is a devout Christian and he plans on framing the image, and one day passing it down to his children.

Video: Beyonce Flashes Illuminati Sign During Super Bowl Halftime Show - Can`t the NFL find an entertainer for the Super Bowl halftime show who isn`t in league with the devil?

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Walks The Streets Of LA Shoeless! - LiLo needs a good spanking, if I hook up with her I`m going to take off one of my shoes and smack her butt. But of course that would only serve to turn the freaky girl on, and she might never wear shoes again.

Girl Sends Hello Kitty Doll Into Outer Space (Almost) - It`s great that this young girl is interested not only in Hello Kitty but in science as well, I hope she grows up to be an astronaut or a rocket scientist.

Video: Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial Grosses Out America - Thanks Go Daddy for grossing out America!

Punxsutawney Phil, Groundhog Weather Dude, Predicts An Early Spring - The cute as a button groundhog predicts an early spring!

Study: On Average Sex Lasts 6 Minutes And Burns 21 Calories - Most guys are thinking: You mean I`ve only been burning a couple of calories during my lovemaking?

Video: Barney, George W Bush's First Dog, Dies - Barney we mourn your death, but you will live forever in the dozens of videos you left behind.

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