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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

See The Honey Boo Boo Clan Christmas Portrait! - Remarkably, they all managed to crack a smile at the same time, I`m sure a second after the photograph was snapped, they burped, farted, and sneezed.

Katt Williams: King Of Comedy And Criminal Activity - Williams is a very little man with a very big mouth, and the average prisoner, white or black, will quickly put him in his place.

Mensa Apologizes For Calling Hypothetical 60 IQ Person A 'Carrot' - Carrots won`t be reading this article, but if I`ve offended any morons: Get a grip!

'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida` Rocker Lee Dorman Dead At 70 - Rest in peace dude, I`m sure you are in the Garden of Eden, smoking weed and just chilling.

Madonna Screams At Her Young Fans To Stop Smoking - Entropy destroys all of us, from nerdy writers to pop stars.

Simon Cowell Is Dating Carmen Electra! Performance Art? - I doubt that Cowell is heterosexual, so why the hell is he dating Electra?

Lindsay Lohan Refused To Lock Lips With Charlie Sheen On Set Of 'Scary Movie 5' - Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan kissing? Yuck!

Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton Worked As A High-Priced Wh[o]re - Olympian Suzy Favor Hamiltions' real talent is knocking boots with strangers.

NYC Health Clinic Video Depicts Santa Giving Away Free Condoms & Needles - What`s wrong with Santa giving free clean needles to drug addicts?

School Districts Cancel Classes Due To Mayan Doomsday - For the Mayan`s God sake, stay home dude.

Lindsay Lohan Seeking Help From Spiritual Guru! Sign of The End Times? - If LiLo brought back Mother Teresa from the dead, and convinced her to be a character witness on her behalf, the troubled starlet is still going to end up behind bars.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan: I Don't Do Bar Mitzvahs! - The only public personal appearance that Lohan should make is at a hardshell Baptist Church that believes in burning witches.

Did LiLo Clog Toilet On Set Of 'Scary Movie 5'? Hello, Lohan Is Full of Crap! - Charlie Sheen, it`s time to clean up Lohan`s mess again!

Popularity Of 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' Inspires Mad Rush For Hillbilly-Themed Adult Movies - There`s a real correlation between the popularity of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", and the increase in white-trash porn titles.

Madness: New Zealand Bus Shelter Converted To Comfy Lounge! - Whether in Brooklyn, New York or Brooklyn, New Zealand, a bus shelter is one of the scuzziest places on Earth.

Is Kanye West Too Gay For The Rap Game? - Dude; come out of the closet, kick Kardashian to the curb, and you might find acceptance in the hip hop community.

Outrage: Lady Accused Of Using Human Bone As Sex Toy - I have a bone to pick with this lady, she should buy vibrators from the Internet like most respectable women.

End Of The World Is Nigh: Thousands Of Santas Gather In Trafalgar Square! - Thousands of Santas = End of the World!

Outrage: Dingo Who Stole Lady's Cash & Valuables Murdered - If you are visiting the land Down Under, hold on to your baby tightly, keep your valuables secure, and give dingoes a wide berth.

Birdbrain Chicago Alderman Proposes $1,000 Fine For Feeding Pigeons - Cappelman`s proposed law is for the birds, the voters of Chicago should kick this birdbrain to the curb.

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