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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Mayor Triolo Blasted For Declaring 'Talk Like A Pirate Day' Aaarrgghh! - Shiver me timbers mateys, how can anyone be against Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Joe Biden On College Cheerleaders: The Stuff They Do On Hard Wood Blows My Mind! - Joe Biden is infamous for putting his foot in his mouth, if you google Joe Biden gaffes " you will get over a million hits.

Amanda Bynes' Agent, Lawyer And Publicist Kick Her To The Curb - I have one word for Bynes: Rehab!

Old Man Swept Away By Massive Wave On Beach In Los Cabos Mexico - But our prayers, dreams and aspirations reach no higher in the heavens than bubbles blown by a kid.

World Gone Mad: Working Girls Posing Behind Windows Must Cover Up! - Mayor Daniel Termont of the city of Ghent is off his rocker, working girls behind windows, displaying their wares is part of the local color.

Stop The Insanity! Lady Puts Resume On Billboard - I'm not disputing that Wilburn is seriously looking for a job, but it seems to be that seeking publicity is a greater priority in her life.

Amanda Bynes And Lindsay Lohan: Bimbo Twins - When Lindsay Lohan arrives on a movie set late and can't remember her lines, the producer should step in and kick her to the curb.

Outrage: Cecilia Gimenez Who Ruined 19th Century Spanish Fresco, Suing Church - The church should retaliate by suing the old woman for ruining the painting, and they should demand the police arrest her for vandalism.

Heartwarming Story: Snoop Dogg Smokes Weed With His Son - Snoop Dogg smoking weed with his son is as natural as the Rev. Pat Robertson reading the Bible with his son.

Pop Tart Paris Hilton, 31, Dating Male Model, 21 - The male model might be gay, but Hilton`s main concern is to be seen with a cute guy by her side.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Arrested For Hitting A Pedestrian In New York City - The clueless bimbo was charged with leaving the scene of an accident, which is only a misdemeanor in New York City.

Miracle: Kitten Rescued From Sewer Pipe - When a firefighter saves a human being from a fire, you never know if the rescued individual will be an asset to society, but a cat is always a blessing to his owner.

Video: The Horrifying Dr. Phi Dina Lohan Interview - Dina Lohan is 50-freakin`-years old, but she is acting like a giddy schoolgirl.

Redneckognize Honey Boo Boo Child As A Superstar! - We`d be well-advised to redneckognize that Honey Boo Boo will be with for us for decades to come.

Countrified Craziness: Country Bumpkin Finds Ex Living In Her Attic - I`m shocked to discover that a low-income person living in the South has a house with an attic. I thought all country bumpkins lived in trailers or Chevy vans.

Cutout Of Boris Becker Left On German Road Nearly Causes An Accident - Now if a jokester placed a cutout of Maria Sharapova standing up near a highway, it would cause so many wrecks it would look like a demolition derby.

Pooch Eats Wad Of Cash! Owners Recover Money! Don't Ask! - If my pooch, Mandy, ate a $300 cash wad, I would consider it an expensive lesson. I would never in a million years try to recover the money by picking through her droppings.

Shoplifter, 18, Leaves Behind Wallet, Cap, And Sneakers At Walmart - We can't expect a dumb kid who gets high off of cough syrup to have a brilliant career as a shoplifter.

Survey: More Ladies Than Dudes Sleep With Their Pets - It`s funny how women, even those who are always getting on us dudes about washing our hands and using Purell, have no qualms about letting flea-ridden cats and dogs sleep with them.

Illuminati Puppet Nicki Minaj Joins American Idol! Evangelicals, Rap Fans & Haters Of Hype Outraged! - I can see Minaj serving as a judge on a wet T-Shirt contest in Las Vegas, but Middle America will never welcome her into their living rooms.

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