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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

New Study: Unhealthy For Airplane Passengers To Hold It In! Fart Away! - A woman`s fart smells worse than a man`s. So why is it that every time somebody farts at the dinner table, it`s poor dad who gets blamed?

NJ Assemblyman Charles Mainor Likes Big Butts On Facebook - In a perfect world Mainor would get knocked the hell out by a big butt constituent.

Gun Owners Get A Discount At Virginia Pizza Restaurant - Advice for Jay Laze: Dude, pizza is fun food. You will ruin the fun atmosphere with your asinine promotion.

Fashionista Alert! Postal Service To Launch Trendy Clothing Line - What hipster dude wouldn`t want to look like that chump from Cheers, Cliff Craven?

Would You Rent A Fake Facebook Girlfriend For $250 A Week? - A fake girlfriend isn`t exactly cheap to rent at $750 for a three-month commitment, but she`s a lot less expensive than a real girlfriend.

Dutch Dude Selling Mammoth Skeleton For $367,895 - Nobody is going to buy the damn thing, unless there`s an image of Jesus Christ on one of the bones.

Old Ladies Go Postal At Bingo Game Over Sale Of Avon Products - Never spit in the wind, don`t tug on Superman`s cape and don`t disturb a senior citizen when she is getting her Bingo on.

Kate Middleton: Plastic Mannequin With Dead Eyes, No Soul and No Charm! - Enough already about Kate Middleton, I`d rather read about Lindsay Lohan`s skanky shenanigans or Honey Boo Boo`s endearing country bumpkin antics.

Lady Making Out With Boyfriend Crashes Car Into House - You`ve heard of "Don`t drink and drive", well don`t get amorous and drive either.

Couple Steals Toilet Parts From McDonald's Restaurant - I don`t know what`s worse: Eating a greasy burger and calorie-laden fries at McDonald`s or entering the grease pit only to steal toilet parts.

Video! Guinness World Record For Cartwheels Set In Virginia Beach! - Nothing symbolizes the carefree attitude of youth more than a cartwheel.

We Are A Nation Of Workaholics! Call In Sick And Have Fun - Damn this workaholic nation straight to hell, lighten up people. Do the right thing, and schedule a date for Friday, and call in sick!

Video! San Francisco's Fabulous Valentine's Day Pillow Fight! - There is something magical about a pillow fight, every city, town and village in America should follow San Francisco`s example and stage their own pillow fight.

Video! Giant Sculpture of Peeing Dog A Masterpiece? - Kudos to Jackson for his accessible, playful, delightful and charming work of art.

Video! Mariska, The Houdini Horse, An Internet Sensation! - Houdini`s nimble fingers allowed him to escape from almost any lock, but Mariska accomplishes her amazing escapes using only her mouth.

Is Force-Feeding Pigs Before Sacrificing Them To The Gods Inhumane? - I'm not against a religion designating a pig or a cow as "divine", as long as they don't prohibit eating these divine and delicious animals.

Shoplifter With Cart Full Of Justin Bieber Valentines Tased By Cops! - What a loser, I hope the cops tased him to within an inch of his life.

Moron Throws Chair At Cop In Courtroom! - Instead of winning a judgment of $100,000 against the peace officer, the moron is facing a federal assault charge and time in the Big House.

Pope Benedict's Successor? How About Honey Boo Boo Child? Amen! - The cardinals should heed Holy Scriptures: A little child shall lead them.

Senior Citizens Get Married At Kroger Pharmacy On Valentine's Day - Congrats to Osler and Billie, let`s hope they enjoy many year or at least many months, of wedding bliss.

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