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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Sweet Old Lady, 99, Gets Her Birthday Wish: Helicopter Ride - Life is short, and one day you may also end up in a rest home -- do a good deed for an elderly person.

Pink Duct Tape-Clad Lady Injures 3 Cops, Bartender & Female Customer At Bar - If you live in Seattle and you see a woman pull out a roll of pink duct tape from her purse, for God`s sake run for your life!

'Topless Queen' T-Shirt Sparks Controversy In Merry Old England - Even The Sex Pistols couldn`t have come up with a better way to honor the Queen!

Survey: Vacation Romance Is The Best - There's something awfully romantic about making love in a hotel room; it might improve your sex life if you pretend that your bedroom is a hotel room.

Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton Throw Loud Party: Cops Called - Look out world: Pop tarts Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are BFF`s again!

Crazy Sean Penn Goes On Tirade Against Celebs & Media For 'Haiti Fatigue' - The celeb (Sean Penn) who has taken up Haiti as his cause is disliked by most Americans; I`m liberal but I can`t stand the self-righteous blowhard.

Lady Stabs Her Man With A Sea Shell Four Times! - This dude will be the laughingstock of his neighborhood for years to come.

Video: Dude Gets Beat Up At Music Festival For Kicking Snooki Impersonator - The Snooki attacker got the hell beat out of him, it`s heartwarming to see citizens take action against evildoers.

Man Sues Physicians For Chopping Off His Manhood! Ouch! - Milla should have opted for Cialis, one of the side effects of this drug is a four-hour erection. I`d rather "suffer" a four-hour erection, than have my manhood cut off.

Top Ten Reasons Why Joshua Ledet Was Booted From American Idol - If this were strictly a singing competition and you took all the other factors out of the equation Ledet would have been crowned the American Idol.

Teen Finds A Finger In An Arby's Sandwich! - The couple has already obtained a lawyer, and you can be sure they won`t just give Arby`s the finger and walk away.

Insanity: Old Man Falls Down A Ravine Chasing A Giant Snake! - A normal red-blooded American male will run away crying like a schoolgirl when he sees a giant snake.

Beach Rocks Catch Fire In Woman's Shorts! Space Rocks? Alien Rocks? - You expect a day at the beach, to be well a day at the beach, but misery is like a shadow, it follows us everywhere.

Jennifer Lopez Don't Leave American Idol! Your Heart Is As Big As Your Butt! - Lopez is worth every penny of her $20 million a year contract, it would be sad to see her leave.

American Idol: Joshua Ledet Too Fey, Jessica Sanchez Too Young, Phillip Phillips Winner - At this point in the competition it really doesn`t matter if each contestant performed one song or a dozen, we are already intimately familiar with the talent, personality and style of the young singers.

Miley Cyrus' Most Outrageous Stunt: Wore Crochet Knit Maxi Skirt In South Beach! - I've blasted Miley for leaving her house without putting on some drawers, but this is one time that I hope she wasn't wearing any.

Dude Pulls Fire Alarm During 'The Avengers'! Upset Movie Was Closed Captioned! - A film is supposed to recreate reality and make you forget that you are sitting in a theater, captions remind you "this is only a movie."

Judge Orders Violent Criminal To Be Released On Bail & To Write A Book Report - If Mobley has been accused of selling firecrackers or a sling shot, it would have made sense to release him on bail, but homeboy was trying to sell a grenade launcher to an undercover federal officer.

Australian School Official Hands Out Provocatively Shaped Candies To Children - The school official who handed out the provocatively shaped candies has resigned; I hope he is charged with contributing to the delinquency of children.

Tragedy: Chicago Bride Found Stabbed To Death In Bathtub In Wedding Gown - Carrera was likely a victim of domestic violence -- how sad. We fear the stranger lurking outside, unfortunately it`s the one we sleep with who sometimes turns against us.

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