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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Wiseguy Burlgar Leaves Note Behind, Claiming 'Inside Job' - Not even Octomom and her brood need that many television sets.

Russian 'End Of The World' Kit Includes Vodka And A Rope - The Russian kit really sucks; I would trade the vodka for weed, the fish for Twinkies, and the buckwheat for popcorn.

Would You Rent Popemobile For Only $324 An Hour? Ultimate Chick Magnet! - A typical geek will dream about owning the Batmobile or a Ferrari, but the Popemobile is the ultimate chick magnet.

Top 5 Bing News Searches For 2012: iPhone 5, Hurricane Sandy, Honey Boo Boo - Then there`s Honey Boo Boo Child, a hurricane that wreaked incalculable devastation to the moral landscape of our country.

Illuminati Puppet Nicki Minaj Goes Postal On Steven Tyler! American Idol Madness! - Say no to filth: Boycott American Idol!

Folks In Oregon Scared Witless By Sprouting Potato UFO! - Is it a cloud, a UFO, or a potato?

First Date Ends With Lady Assaulting Dude: She Wanted Him To Call Her His Girlfriend - It usually takes a few dates for a lady to go Fatal Attraction on a guy, at least Molina didn`t spend a lot of time and money on this woman before he realized that she was nuts.

Fake Dentist Kissed Lady In Her Tush - This dude went to a lot of expense and trouble to fulfill his weird sexual fantasy, if only he would expend similar energy to learning a trade.

Lindsay Lohan Could Care Less She Has A New Half-Sister - Ashley shouldn't be shedding tears over not being invited to the Lohans for Thanksgiving; I'd rather receive an invitation to break bread with the Manson Family.

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Make 'Tons Of Movies'! End of World Really Is Nigh! - Lohan declaring that she wants to do a ton of movies is worse than terrorists boasting that they are going to be setting of tons of bombs all over America.

Worst Video Ever! Paris Hilton Ft. Lil' Wayne: Last Night (I Wanna Bang You) - A music video starring the skanky singer and the raw rapper Lil Wayne was leaked online, and it has the potential of earning the title Worst Video of All Time. "

Mom Accused Of Providing Strippers For Her Son's Birthday Party - This mom from hell is teaching her son that women are sexual objects for the gratification and entertainment of men.

God Orders Lady To Speed, While Honking Horn And Sticking Her Arm Out Window - God can be a real wise guy, he may have told her to speed, but I doubt he provided her with bail money.

Top Ten Things I'm Thankful For This Thanksgiving - I would write even if nobody read my articles, but I am thankful for the positive feedback from my readers.

Santa Gets Stuck By Beard, Left Dangling 15 Feet Off The Ground, Kids Horrified! - Rescuers were able to cut Santa`s beard out of the rope, and he made it safely down amidst cheers from the children.

Nadya Suleman (Octomom) Accused Of Stealing Diamond Ring - Octomom could be banging on his front door, begging him to consummate the marriage.

Video! Kitten Rescued From Inside Statue Of Abraham Lincoln - Make this Thanksgiving special, adopt a kitten or a puppy at your local Humane Society.

Kid, 17, Steals Toys From Walmart! Wanted To Play Santa For Girlfriend's Kids - At least Sparks was shoplifting and not actually buying toys from the truly evil Walmart Corporation, where all of the toys are made in sweat shops in China, and not by elves in the North Pole.

Video! Greatest Mash-Up Ever: Psy And M.C. Hammer Turn This Mutha Out! - Millions of Psy's fans all over the world are doing his crazy horse dance, and yelling: Hey, Sexy Lady!

Pop Tart Paris Hilton Opens Store In Mecca! Muslims Outraged! - Paris Hilton tweeted: Loving my beautiful new store that just opened in Mecca Mall. I won`t be surprised if in a couple of weeks she will tweet: That`s not hot! Somebody blew up my beautiful new store.

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