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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Will Snooki Be An Unfit Mother? Is The Pope Catholic? - I pray that Childrens Services will be on Snooki like white on rice.

'Ice Bau' Ice Cream For Dogs To Be Sold In Italy! Would You Buy Ice Cream For Your Pooch? - In these dog days of summer our pooches would certainly appreciate ice cream.

Gorgeous Lady Steals 7 Pregnancy Tests & Lubricant - If Joy doesn`t have a husband or a serious boyfriend, I`m available and I will keep her medicine cabinet stocked with pregnancy tests.

Fight Tyranny: Eat A Donut & Enjoy A Big Gulp! - The Food Police will have to pry my donut and large drink from my cold dead hands.

John Edwards: I Don't Think God Is Through With Me - Edwards would be perfect as a televangelist, he has the hair, the expensive suits, the facile ability to deceive, the desperate need for adoration, and the silver tongue.

Man, 93, Competing in Senior Games As A Sprinter - I have nothing but admiration and respect for Bach.

Video: Mold Growing In Shower Looks Like Jesus Christ! Miracle Or Madness? - I wonder how long will it be before Chyanna has an epiphany and the Lord instructs her to cut out the moldy image of Jesus and sell it on eBay?

Cop Cites Good Samaritan For Littering: Drops Dollar Bill Attempting To Help Beggar - The Barney Fife who ticketed Davis should be reassigned to follow a cop on a horse, and clean up after the animal.

Katie Couric: I Don't Want Snooki As Guest On My Talk Show - I don`t know what`s a bigger threat to America: Couric`s perkiness or Snooki`s permissiveness.

Why Did The Scarf-Wearing Piglet Cross The Road? - Let`s hope the piglet was welcomed home by his fey hotpants-wearing dad.

Girl, 8, Gets 'Award' For Homework Excuses! Mom Goes Bonkers! - The mom should shut the hell up, and make sure her lazy daughter does her homework.

Dude Rams His Truck Into Taco Bell: Upset Over Missing Taco! - I hope the woman who was in the truck with this character will kick him to the curb like a week-old taco.

End Your Marriage In Luxury At The 'Divorce Hotel'! Wonderful Idea! - This being Holland, the hotel might even leave a joint inside of a mint on your pillow.

Gentlemen Who Cheat On Their Wives More Likely To Die Of Heart Attack - Dudes, take care of your health: Don`t screw around.

Virginia Church Displays Over 6,000 Flags To Honor Our Fallen Heroes - I wish churches would minister to soldiers when they return from serving America, they should provide our returning heroes with anything they might need to make their transition smooth.

'Jersey Shore' House No Better Than A Crack House, Snooki Moving Out! - If Snooki really cares about her baby she will break off all contact with her "Jersey Shore" clueless friends.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Owes $41,000 To Owner Of Tanning Salon - The Irish beauty should embrace her fair complexion, girlfriend really rocks the Casper the Friendly Ghost look.

Israeli Woman Chooses Her 550 Cats Over Her Husband - I`d rather live in the dog house than inside a house with 550 cats.

Lady Gaga Cancels Indonesian Concert After Threats From Muslims - I wish it had been lack of ticket sales and not Muslim thugs that had caused Lady Gaga to cancel her concerts.

Survey: Brits Would Rather Travel With A Pet Than Family Member - Even if I were married to a supermodel, I`d rather put her in the trunk and have my faithful pooch ride in the front passenger seat.

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