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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Miracle Of Birth Takes Place In A Restaurant - The restaurant should name a sandwich or at least an appetizer after baby Azauria.

Dude Changes Name To Google-Friendly Tyrannosaurus Rex - I would counsel new parents to give their babies Google-friendly names like "Lady Caca" or "Monster Face", a unique name is a gift that keeps on giving.

Miley Cyrus' Film 'LOL' Bombs! Should Miley Retire From Show Business? - The idea of Miley Cyrus as a serious actress is "LOL" funny.

Some Folks See Naked Woman On Face Of New Plastic Canadian $20 Bill - I wouldn't complain if they introduced a dollar bill with a picture of a naked woman, it would be an improvement of images of dead white guys.

Masseur Sues John Travolta For Sexual Battery - Nobody has a problem with Travolta's sexual orientation, he was born that way, but sexual battery is a crime.

Obama Put On Big Girl Panties & Support Same-Sex Marriage! - We don't need a Gumby President who is flexible when it's politically expedient, we need a Leader of the Free World with a backbone.

Is Nelson The Baby Parrot The Ugliest Bird In The World? See Pics! - Pretty boy, he ain't!

Video: Adorable Meow The 39-Pound Cat Dies! - Adopt a kitty from your local shelter, love him, play with him, but for God`s sake don`t feed him too much.

Survey Says: Ladies Fantasize About Making Out On Eiffel Tower - OK, let`s get real now, the damn structure is a giant phallic symbol, and for women size does matter.

Pop Tart Amanda Bynes Involved In Hit-And-Run -- Again! - Amanda: Hire a chauffeur!

God Bless Kim Kardashian! She Tweeted Sexy Pics Of Herself! - When Kim Kardashian gets bored she doesn`t practice the scripted dialogue for her reality show, count her money, or admire her butt in the mirror.

Demi Moore Finally Changes Twitter Handle To Reflect Split From Ashton Kutcher - There are not many roles for mature actresses in Hollywood, since 2005 Demi Moore, 49, has been playing the role of cougar married to the much younger heartthrob Ashton Kutcher.

Dude Loses Control Of Motorized Bar Stool! - James' wife should remove the engine from the bar stool, and nail the bar stool to the floor.

OMG! Snooki & Tanning Mom Engaged In Epic Battle Of Words! Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid! - There`s only one way to settle this beef: An MTV claymation death match between Tanning Mom and Snooki.

Kitty Survives Two-Hour Washing Machine Ordeal! - Tabitha probably has only one life left after her ordeal; I hope that Karin watches her very closely.

Why Hollie Cavanagh Has A Better Chance Than Joshua Ledet Of Winning American Idol - Hollie is an adequate singer, a poor dancer, and kind of a dull girl, but when she smiles I feel a need to buy her an ice cream cone or cast a vote for her.

Perfect Song Choice For Joshua Ledet: Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' - If Joshua comes out of the closet, he will be America`s Idol even if he doesn`t win American Idol.

Young Scholar Spots Mistake In Museum Map - A 13-year-old boy shouldn`t be in a stuffy museum learning about the Byzantine Empire, he should be in the streets getting a real education.

Shock Poll: 15 Percent Of People Worldwide Believe End Of The World Is Nigh - Global Public Affairs, which conducted the poll, is a respected organization, but I believe that the percentage of people who believe the world will end soon is much higher.

Shoplifter Waves Samurai Sword At Security Guard - A samurai sword is a very intimidating weapon, and brandishing the sword will stop a security guard dead in his tracks.


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