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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Dude Argues: Swimming Au Naturel In Public Beach Is Performance Art! Hogwash! - To argue that swimming naked in a public beach is art is quite a stretch. If that's performance art then I should be able to argue that punching Scully for exposing himself in front of children is art criticism.

Dude Saws Off Foot & Burns It To Continue Receiving Unemployment Compensation - Hans should kick himself in the arse with the one good foot he has left.

Insanity: Woman Hides Drugs In Her Dentures! - DeMarco removed the pills from her dentures, and swallowed them in front of the cops. That foolish act earned her a charge of tampering with evidence.

Video: Canadian Drunk Dude Serenades Cops With 'Bohemian Rhapsody' - To hell with "Kumbaya", nothing will bring us together more than holding hands and singing the Queen classic hit.

Race Hustler Al Sharpton And Strip Club Exploit Killing Of Trayvon Martin! - The owners of the strip club have come to their senses, and called off the event, let`s hope Sharpton comes to his senses and shuts the hell up.

Would You Buy Toilet Paper With Paris Hilton's Tweets? - Paris Hilton tweet: I`m in the crapper, OMG itz true, my poop really dont smell. Should I sell my cute poops on eBay?

Who Says Postal Service Is Useless? Postal Worker Delivers Pot To Resident! - Veronica Denise Johnson, 49, of Marathon, Fla, may be the only postal worker in America who is performing a useful service.

Thieves Grab Gold Necklace From Blinged-Out Baby! Heroes Or Villains? - The bad guys in this incident aren't the thieves, it's the moron who put an expensive gold chain around the neck of a toddler.

Tallest Man In America Needs $15,000 For New Shoes - Send a donation to Igor? Yeah right after I send $5,000 to a Nigerian prince so he can pay ransom to a warlord who is holding his blind cancer-stricken 7-year-old daughter as a hostage.

Thieves Steal Parrot Who Loves To Sing Queen Songs - It's a good thing Booth didn't teach Chico to sing Justine Bieber's greatest hits, the thieves would have flushed him down the toilet by now.

Spike Lee Tweets Wrong George Zimmerman Address, Endangers Lives Of Elderly Couple - Lee's apology is too little too late; I hope the McClains sue the pint-sized director for millions.

Hoodies As Symbol Of Solidarity With Trayvon Martin's Family - Trayvon was wearing a hoodie, probably as protection against the rain, when he was gunned down by wannabe cop George Zimmerman.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan To Guest Star On Glee - I would need to get as high as Lohan to ever watch Glee again.

Expectant Mom Snooki Should Take Break From 'Jersey Shore' For Sake Of Baby! - The Jersey Shore stars belch, fart, swear and rut with abandon.

Woman, 100, Serves As Reading Tutor! Bless Senior Citizens! - If a 100-year-old lady can serve as a reading tutor, we should be able to do something to make this a better world.

Video! Unspeakable Horror! Alicia Silverstone Chews Her Son's Food For Him Like Bird - I can imagine french kissing Alicia, and then to my horror discovering that she has swapped not only spit with me, but her breakfast as well.

Octomom Poses In The Buff For Magazine! She's Smoking Hot! You Go Nadya! - With as many babies as Octomom has spit out, her tummy probably looks like a shar pei puppy.

Justice: Cops Force Thief To Reattach Door He Stole! - If this incident had happened in America, the ACLU would have sued on behalf of the thief, they would argue that the man was forced to do hard labor before he was was guilty in a court of law.

Hundreds of Dirty Hippies Wait for Doomsday (Dec. 21) In French Village - I want to wait for Doomsday at home with my faithful pooch and my loving cat, drinking a beer and watching the chaos unfold.

Michigan Humane Society Holds Rat Adoption Day - I would never adopt a rat, but I commend the humane society for holding the rat adoption event: It teaches children to love all animals.


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