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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Katie Couric: I Don't Want Snooki As Guest On My Talk Show - I don`t know what`s a bigger threat to America: Couric`s perkiness or Snooki`s permissiveness.

Why Did The Scarf-Wearing Piglet Cross The Road? - Let`s hope the piglet was welcomed home by his fey hotpants-wearing dad.

Girl, 8, Gets 'Award' For Homework Excuses! Mom Goes Bonkers! - The mom should shut the hell up, and make sure her lazy daughter does her homework.

Dude Rams His Truck Into Taco Bell: Upset Over Missing Taco! - I hope the woman who was in the truck with this character will kick him to the curb like a week-old taco.

End Your Marriage In Luxury At The 'Divorce Hotel'! Wonderful Idea! - This being Holland, the hotel might even leave a joint inside of a mint on your pillow.

Gentlemen Who Cheat On Their Wives More Likely To Die Of Heart Attack - Dudes, take care of your health: Don`t screw around.

Virginia Church Displays Over 6,000 Flags To Honor Our Fallen Heroes - I wish churches would minister to soldiers when they return from serving America, they should provide our returning heroes with anything they might need to make their transition smooth.

'Jersey Shore' House No Better Than A Crack House, Snooki Moving Out! - If Snooki really cares about her baby she will break off all contact with her "Jersey Shore" clueless friends.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Owes $41,000 To Owner Of Tanning Salon - The Irish beauty should embrace her fair complexion, girlfriend really rocks the Casper the Friendly Ghost look.

Israeli Woman Chooses Her 550 Cats Over Her Husband - I`d rather live in the dog house than inside a house with 550 cats.

Lady Gaga Cancels Indonesian Concert After Threats From Muslims - I wish it had been lack of ticket sales and not Muslim thugs that had caused Lady Gaga to cancel her concerts.

Survey: Brits Would Rather Travel With A Pet Than Family Member - Even if I were married to a supermodel, I`d rather put her in the trunk and have my faithful pooch ride in the front passenger seat.

San Francisco's Jewel, The Golden Gate Bridge, Turns 75 - I left my heart in San Francisco, and I will return one day to renew old acquaintances and to once again marvel at an old friend: The Golden Gate Bridge.

Payton The Dog Saves Family From Burning Home - The important thing is that the entire family, including Payton, got out of the burning inferno safely.

Madness In Japan: Runaway Penguin Captured After 82 Days - If a penguin ran away from a zoo in America, after a few days he would have his own Twitter feed.

Dude Brandishes Gun To Cut In Line At McDonald's - The cons will have a lot of fun with this Hamburglar when he lands in the Big House.

Holy Cow! Cows Crash Party, Get Roaring Drunk! - If huge cows crash your party, you`d be well-advised to moooooove over!

Video: Pooch Found In Garbage Bag Adopted - There are many puppies and adult dogs in animal shelters, and they are also waiting for a happy ending. Visit an animal shelter today, and adopt a pooch who will provide you with years of entertainment, love, loyalty and companionship.

Lindsay Lohan Tries To Look Like Sophisticated Lady! God Bless Her For Trying! - The poor child wouldn`t know elegance if it crapped all over her, but I give her credit for trying.

'Jersey Shore' Reality Star Snooki Wants Boob Job After Baby Is Born - What`s the first thing Snooki plans on doing after her baby is born? Why get a boob job of course!

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