 | Video: Shin-Kicking Championships Held In The UK - I love sports like football, baseball, hockey and basketball and even golf, but there are quite a few "sports" that seen to have been invented only to fill up programming on ESPN.
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 | Big Ang Of 'Mob Wives' & Snooki Of 'Jersey Shore' Engage In Epic Conversation - When two reality show bimbos get together it`s a safe bet they won`t discuss how to reconcile Albert Einstein`s General Theory of Relativity with quantum mechanics.
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 | Unfair: LA King Fans Taunt New Jersey Devils With Cutouts Of Snooki & Jwoww - San Francisco, my beloved home town, is home to hippies, homeless and assorted freaks, but I am so grateful that Snooki has never set foot in the City by the Bay.
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 | Lindsay Lohan Pops Out Of Dress During Filming Of Elizabeth Taylor Movie - Lindsay Lohan playing screen legend Elizabeth Taylor is like an adult movie actress playing Mother Teresa. |
 | America's Sweetheart Betty White Immortalized In Wax - Now is the time to honor Betty White, the Grim Reaper is bound to catch up with her any second.
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 | Mom Arrested For Screaming For Daughter At Graduation! Thank You Jesus! - I hope Shannon Cooper`s mugshot is published in her local newspaper, we must take a stand against stupidity and self-centered behavior.
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 | Nadya Suleman: The Hottest Octomom In the Adult Movie Business! - Nadya Suleman was coached by adult movie star Jessica Drake; Octomom must be pretty slow on the uptake if she needs coaching on how to pleasure herself.
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 | Gwyneth Paltrow's Twitter N-Word Controversy! Get A Life Haters! - Get a life haters, if you have to jump on someone, get on the rappers` case for referring to themselves as "niggas."
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 | Video: Insane Artist Turns Dead Cat Into Helicopter! Creepiest Thing Ever! - Jansen`s stunt is an insult to the memory of his cat and the Wright brothers.
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 | Elderly Doo-Wop Groups Terrorize Residents Of New York City! Big Apple On Edge! - These dear old crooners don't have anything to do but go to the store and buy Depends, feed pigeons and sing in street corners.
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 | President Barack Obama Pardons Fifth-Grader Who Skipped School - Hell, I would call in sick to work for a chance at meeting Angelina Jolie, or even a third rate reality star like JWoww.
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 | Holy Cow! Cows Have Intimate Relations In Middle Of The Road! - We think of cows providing us with milk, mooing, and getting tipped over by mischievous kids, but we never picture the silly looking creatures having sex.
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 | Will Snooki Be An Unfit Mother? Is The Pope Catholic? - I pray that Childrens Services will be on Snooki like white on rice.
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 | 'Ice Bau' Ice Cream For Dogs To Be Sold In Italy! Would You Buy Ice Cream For Your Pooch? - In these dog days of summer our pooches would certainly appreciate ice cream. |
 | Gorgeous Lady Steals 7 Pregnancy Tests & Lubricant - If Joy doesn`t have a husband or a serious boyfriend, I`m available and I will keep her medicine cabinet stocked with pregnancy tests. |
 | Fight Tyranny: Eat A Donut & Enjoy A Big Gulp! - The Food Police will have to pry my donut and large drink from my cold dead hands.
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 | John Edwards: I Don't Think God Is Through With Me - Edwards would be perfect as a televangelist, he has the hair, the expensive suits, the facile ability to deceive, the desperate need for adoration, and the silver tongue.
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 | Man, 93, Competing in Senior Games As A Sprinter - I have nothing but admiration and respect for Bach.
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 | Video: Mold Growing In Shower Looks Like Jesus Christ! Miracle Or Madness? - I wonder how long will it be before Chyanna has an epiphany and the Lord instructs her to cut out the moldy image of Jesus and sell it on eBay?
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 | Cop Cites Good Samaritan For Littering: Drops Dollar Bill Attempting To Help Beggar - The Barney Fife who ticketed Davis should be reassigned to follow a cop on a horse, and clean up after the animal.
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