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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Boxes Of Moonshine Leads To Evacuation Of Florida Post Office - We are a nation of wimps, a dozen cowards stand around the box, before somebody finally decides to examine the contents.

Heroic Old Lady Holds Young Punk At Gunpoint Until Cops Arrive! - A gun-toting grandma, who curses and drinks, don't you just love it?

State Sen. Ralph Shortey Introduces Bill To Ban Sale Of Food Using Human Fetuses - We aren't living in a Soylent Green nightmarish world, no food product sold in the United States, or anywhere else in the world for that matter, has ever used aborted human fetuses or human stem cells.

Video: Birds Terrorize Kentucky Neighborhood! Sign Of The End Times? - In a sane world the residents of Kentucky would worry only about mundane problems like a thief stealing their moonshine or the trailer park tramp leaving her trailer without her top again.

Former Child Star Miley Cyrus: The Most Disgusting Celeb In Hollywood? - Once a female child star hits the magic age of 18, she sets out to prove that she's a big girl now by acting like an out-of-control slut.

Racist Governor Jan Brewer Disses President Barack Obama - The photo of the Arizona governor wagging her finger at President Obama conveys the disdain that she has for the President of the United States more succinctly that a thousand editorials.

Madonna To Perform With Cee Lo Green, MIA And Niki Minaj At Super Bowl - Two great teams, a legend performing on the halftime show, the Super Bowl is must-see TV!

Thief Snatched Purse From Victim When She Was In Toilet - She should have clutched her purse with one hand, and wiped her bottom with the other.

Hero Senior Citizen Kills Young Punk Who Knocked Him Off His Bike - Moral of this story: Get a license to carry a concealed weapon, and shoot to kill if your life is in danger.

Teen Florida Girl Calls 911 On Her Mom For Having Loud Sex - The dude was probably so traumatized by having his lovemaking interrupted by the cops, that he may never see the woman again.

Solar Storm Hits Earth! Believers In Maya Prophecies Scared! - It's incumbent on the media, government and scientists to provide the public with rational explanations for these strange events to prevent hysteria and panic.

Does Nancy Pelosi Have Dirt On Newt Gingrich That Can Destroy Him? - Every minute that Gingrich enjoys the spotlight as the GOP frontrunner brings shame to America.

On Valentine's Day Which Pop Princess Would You Like To Get A Love Letter From? - But the singer I would most want to get a s*xy note from is Lindsay Lohan, sure she's not much of a singer, but she's crazy enough to send a note to an anonymous fan and hook up with him.

Need Your Cat With You When You Fly As An 'Emotional Support Animal'? - Anybody who can't get on a plane without the emotional support of a cat, needs to get a life or a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Police: Passenger Smoked Pot On Plane - However, I must admit I'd rather sit next to a stoner than a drunk on a plane; a herb lover might bug your for your pretzels, but a drunk might vomit all over you.

Mitt Romney Goes Postal On Newt Gingrich - When facing a huge bully you don't slap him on the face, that's not going to knock him down. You pick up a two-by-four and hit him upside the head.

Outrage: Old Man Kicked Out Of English Pub For Speaking In German - The old guy makes a good point; it's not as if he was plotting something. At his advanced age the only thing he would plot, is the quickest route to the restroom.

Fat Convict Sues: Forced To Wear Same Set Of Sweaty Sweats For 8 Months - If Diaz commits anothe crime, I hope he's sentenced to jail and a couple of months in a fat farm.

Breaking News: Legendary Coach Joe Paterno Dead At 85 - Paterno coached the Nittany Lions for over four decades, and in 2011 became the winningest coach in Division

Lindsay Lohan Avoids Temptation At Jewelry Store - Lilo emerged from the jewelry store to find two parking tickets on her luxury vehicle's windshield. Girlfriend, that's fate warning you to stay the hell away from jewelry stores.

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