 | Perfect Running Mate For Mitt Romney: Octomom - Nadya Suleman, better known as Octomom, would be the perfect running mate for Mitt Romney. |
 | Gentlemen Horrified By Women Exposing Wrinkled Cleavage - Guys witness lots of horrible things in their lifetimes, we shouldn't be needlessly subjected to the spectacle of a middle-aged lady wearing a low-cut dress that exposes her wrinkled breasts. |
 | Pretty Pooch Wearing Pink Sweater Survives Fall From Bridge! - The only article of clothing that a dog should ever wear is a bandana around his neck, that's it period! |
 | Octomom A Role Model: Makes Enough Money From Stripping To Go Off Welfare - Octomom is a modern day saint, she got overcame her shame of being on the dole and stripping to put food in the mouths of her 14 kids. |
 | Moral Coward Joe Paterno's Statue Should Be Smashed To Smithereens - Paterno`s statue should be destroyed with axes and sledgehammers, and the first blow should be delivered by one of Jerry Sandusky`s victims.
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 | Is Lindsay Lohan The Most Evil Woman In Hollywood? - Lindsay Lohan corrupts everyone she comes in contact with, I would advise agents, producers, and lawyers - anybody with a conscience to stay the hell away from her. |
 | SF Wants To Ban Outdoor Smoking, Except For Medical Weed! Bravo! - I`m glad that an exception would be made for medically-prescribed marijuana, but even the recreational use of marijuana should be permitted. |
 | Woman Leaves Girl, 7, In Truck While She Gets Her Freak On In A Dive - You need a license to drive and a prescription to purchase a controlled substance - sometimes I wish that a woman should have to pass psychological exam before she could be a mother. |
 | Redneck Dad Shoots Son: Ashamed Of His Singing At Karaoke Hoedown - Ollie Sr. is 70-freaking-years-old, he should learn to chill out; I hope his son plays the song they were arguing over at his funeral. |
 | Pop Tart Snooki Has Nightmare That Her Baby Turns Into Chucky The Doll - Hopefully, against all odds, Snooki's baby will be normal, and he won't start crying if his bottle doesn't contain vodka. |
 | Obama Punching Bag Should Not Have Been Removed From Indiana County Fair - The Obama punching bag is available for sale on the Internet, be prepared to shell out between $15 to $20. |
 | Who In God's Name Is Stealing Cardboard Cutouts Of David Hasselhoff? - The average person can't stand The Hoff, and I can see just about anyone stealing the cardboard Hoff to make a dartboard out of him. |
 | Nightmare In Tulsa: Library Infested With Bedbugs - The Internet is making libraries obsolete and permissive librarians are speeding up the process by allowing anyone to enter. |
 | Stop The Insanity: Shoplifting Boob Flees Store Topless! - The saddest aspect of this story is that apparently this oxygen thief has a baby, it's almost pre-ordained that her offspring will be a criminal |
 | Wonderful Woman Seeks To Set Record For Bikini-Clad Marchers! God Bless Her! - God bless Cynthia Frederick, Vitamin D and bikini-clad hotties! |
 | Actor Fred Willard, 72, Caught Playing With Himself In Porn Movie Palace! - I can't believe that at 72-years-old Willard's libido is still so strong that he can't resist the urge to yank out his Johnson in a porn theatre. |
 | Felon Tests Gun, Blows Away His Nuts To Kingdom Come! - A wag asked the pertinent question: Will this moron be sent to a women's prison? |
 | Cat Walks Six Miles To Return Home - Ebony is fat and spoiled, I'm not sure she could walk six blocks let alone six miles, but I'm persuaded if she was separated from me she would try to find her way home. |
 | Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Obama Birth Certificate 'Definitely Fraudulent' - Investigators for Joe Arpaio declared that Barack Obama's birth certificate is "definitely fraudulent." |
 | Miracle: Snooki Looks Sweet & Innocent Without Makeup - Take it easy on the pancake makeup, mascara and blush, ain't no dude want to knock boots with a clown-looking girl. |
