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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) Greatest Threat To Freedom Of Speech - Stop this attack on freedom of speech. Write letters to your political representatives! Tweet your disgust at this proposed legislation!

MSNBC's Alex Wagner Mutters 'Jesus' During Clip of Santorum Babbling Incoherently - Wagner is an analyst and not a news anchor, but even if Diane Sawyer muttered "Jesus" under the same circumstances, most viewers would forgive her impromptu editorializing.

Madonna Finds Perfect Word To Describe Lady Gaga: Reductive - Lady Gaga took a classic Madonna song and managed to create a crude imitation, that's like a child making a crude copy of the Mona Lisa.

2012 Has 3 Friday The 13ths: Omen Of End Of The World? - Three Friday the 13ths spaced exactly 13 weeks apart, an omen of doom and gloom? I don't know about you, but I'm stocking up on canned food, bottled water and adult diapers!

Newt Gingrich Sinks To New Low: Castigates Mitt Romney For Speaking French - If during a debate Romney's head starting to spin around as if he were possessed by a demon, and he uttered blasphemies, the audience would be disturbed, but not as disturbed if he uttered a French phrase.

Creep Arrested For Grabbing A Black Swan By The Neck - Animal cruelty is a serious crime, and we must make an example of this jerk.

Terrifying Creature Washes Up On Florida Coast - Carolyn's husband is a fisherman, and he didn't recognize the strange creature. I don't want to cause a panic in Delray Beach, but commonsense tells me that there's more than one of those creatures lurking in the water.

Bald Barbie For Young Cancer Survivors? How Silly Can We Get? - Our society is still relatively intact in spite of Tattooed Barbie and Barbies based on celebs like Niki Minaj and Paris Hilton, but is America ready for Bald Barbie?

Queen Of Pop Madonna: Lady Gaga Reminds Me Of Myself - Madonna, the Queen of Pop. should be commended for his restraint and diplomatic tone in describing Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga Is The Voice Of A Generation - Gaga has glomed onto gay rights in a desperate and cynical attempt to achieve legitimacy. Gaga manipulates her army of gay monsters into buying multiple copies of the same album.

Herman Cain Disses Rick Perry - Rick Perry is a moron, and I'm trying to be respectful.

Lady Gaga Suffers For Her Art: It Hurts To Bleach My Hair! - A true singer will suffer for her art, witness Adele's ongoing problems with her vocal chords.

Country Music Icon Dolly Parton To Duet With Pop Tart Lady Gaga? Say, It Ain't So! - Don`t do it Dolly, your country fans may forgive you for getting a tattoo, but they will never forgive you for doing a duet with the likes of Lady Gaga.

Dude With Weird Name (Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop) Arrested - Who knows what inspired him to change his name, maybe he was high on drugs or it could be he saw Rosie O'Donnell in a string bikini.

Man Complains About Sexy Posters On Gym Walls - Of course the image focuses on sex, but what's wrong with that?

Morons Steal Beer, Return To Ask For Surveillance Tape, Busted By Cops! - These intellectually-challenged misfits will never enjoy champagne dreams, they are destined to have beer in the fridge, and a broken-down car in the driveway.

Occupy D.C. Locations Infested With Rats - This liberal is sick and tired of the Occupy movement, it's time for the National Park Service officials to grow a pair and evict the protesters.

Is Judge Judy The Most Frightening And Evil Star On Network TV? - If you are scheduled to appear in Judge Judy's court you would be well-advised to take a tranquilizer and bring a change of underwear.

For God So Loved Tim Tebow He Gave Him 316 Yards Passing Victory Over Steelers - If the Broncos win the Super Bowl, I will be convinced that the Lord's favorite color is orange, and I will change my name to John 3:16.

Pop Tart Snooki Gets A Tattoo - Snooki pulled down her tiny top while the tattoo artist was working on her shoulder. Sly Snooki didn't want to disappoint her fans or the photographers in the house.


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