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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Video: Shin-Kicking Championships Held In The UK - I love sports like football, baseball, hockey and basketball and even golf, but there are quite a few "sports" that seen to have been invented only to fill up programming on ESPN.

Big Ang Of 'Mob Wives' & Snooki Of 'Jersey Shore' Engage In Epic Conversation - When two reality show bimbos get together it`s a safe bet they won`t discuss how to reconcile Albert Einstein`s General Theory of Relativity with quantum mechanics.

Unfair: LA King Fans Taunt New Jersey Devils With Cutouts Of Snooki & Jwoww - San Francisco, my beloved home town, is home to hippies, homeless and assorted freaks, but I am so grateful that Snooki has never set foot in the City by the Bay.

Lindsay Lohan Pops Out Of Dress During Filming Of Elizabeth Taylor Movie - Lindsay Lohan playing screen legend Elizabeth Taylor is like an adult movie actress playing Mother Teresa.

America's Sweetheart Betty White Immortalized In Wax - Now is the time to honor Betty White, the Grim Reaper is bound to catch up with her any second.

Mom Arrested For Screaming For Daughter At Graduation! Thank You Jesus! - I hope Shannon Cooper`s mugshot is published in her local newspaper, we must take a stand against stupidity and self-centered behavior.

Nadya Suleman: The Hottest Octomom In the Adult Movie Business! - Nadya Suleman was coached by adult movie star Jessica Drake; Octomom must be pretty slow on the uptake if she needs coaching on how to pleasure herself.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Twitter N-Word Controversy! Get A Life Haters! - Get a life haters, if you have to jump on someone, get on the rappers` case for referring to themselves as "niggas."

Video: Insane Artist Turns Dead Cat Into Helicopter! Creepiest Thing Ever! - Jansen`s stunt is an insult to the memory of his cat and the Wright brothers.

Elderly Doo-Wop Groups Terrorize Residents Of New York City! Big Apple On Edge! - These dear old crooners don't have anything to do but go to the store and buy Depends, feed pigeons and sing in street corners.

President Barack Obama Pardons Fifth-Grader Who Skipped School - Hell, I would call in sick to work for a chance at meeting Angelina Jolie, or even a third rate reality star like JWoww.

Holy Cow! Cows Have Intimate Relations In Middle Of The Road! - We think of cows providing us with milk, mooing, and getting tipped over by mischievous kids, but we never picture the silly looking creatures having sex.

Will Snooki Be An Unfit Mother? Is The Pope Catholic? - I pray that Childrens Services will be on Snooki like white on rice.

'Ice Bau' Ice Cream For Dogs To Be Sold In Italy! Would You Buy Ice Cream For Your Pooch? - In these dog days of summer our pooches would certainly appreciate ice cream.

Gorgeous Lady Steals 7 Pregnancy Tests & Lubricant - If Joy doesn`t have a husband or a serious boyfriend, I`m available and I will keep her medicine cabinet stocked with pregnancy tests.

Fight Tyranny: Eat A Donut & Enjoy A Big Gulp! - The Food Police will have to pry my donut and large drink from my cold dead hands.

John Edwards: I Don't Think God Is Through With Me - Edwards would be perfect as a televangelist, he has the hair, the expensive suits, the facile ability to deceive, the desperate need for adoration, and the silver tongue.

Man, 93, Competing in Senior Games As A Sprinter - I have nothing but admiration and respect for Bach.

Video: Mold Growing In Shower Looks Like Jesus Christ! Miracle Or Madness? - I wonder how long will it be before Chyanna has an epiphany and the Lord instructs her to cut out the moldy image of Jesus and sell it on eBay?

Cop Cites Good Samaritan For Littering: Drops Dollar Bill Attempting To Help Beggar - The Barney Fife who ticketed Davis should be reassigned to follow a cop on a horse, and clean up after the animal.

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