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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Hero Senior Citizen Kills Young Punk Who Knocked Him Off His Bike - Moral of this story: Get a license to carry a concealed weapon, and shoot to kill if your life is in danger.

Teen Florida Girl Calls 911 On Her Mom For Having Loud Sex - The dude was probably so traumatized by having his lovemaking interrupted by the cops, that he may never see the woman again.

Solar Storm Hits Earth! Believers In Maya Prophecies Scared! - It's incumbent on the media, government and scientists to provide the public with rational explanations for these strange events to prevent hysteria and panic.

Does Nancy Pelosi Have Dirt On Newt Gingrich That Can Destroy Him? - Every minute that Gingrich enjoys the spotlight as the GOP frontrunner brings shame to America.

On Valentine's Day Which Pop Princess Would You Like To Get A Love Letter From? - But the singer I would most want to get a s*xy note from is Lindsay Lohan, sure she's not much of a singer, but she's crazy enough to send a note to an anonymous fan and hook up with him.

Need Your Cat With You When You Fly As An 'Emotional Support Animal'? - Anybody who can't get on a plane without the emotional support of a cat, needs to get a life or a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Police: Passenger Smoked Pot On Plane - However, I must admit I'd rather sit next to a stoner than a drunk on a plane; a herb lover might bug your for your pretzels, but a drunk might vomit all over you.

Mitt Romney Goes Postal On Newt Gingrich - When facing a huge bully you don't slap him on the face, that's not going to knock him down. You pick up a two-by-four and hit him upside the head.

Outrage: Old Man Kicked Out Of English Pub For Speaking In German - The old guy makes a good point; it's not as if he was plotting something. At his advanced age the only thing he would plot, is the quickest route to the restroom.

Fat Convict Sues: Forced To Wear Same Set Of Sweaty Sweats For 8 Months - If Diaz commits anothe crime, I hope he's sentenced to jail and a couple of months in a fat farm.

Breaking News: Legendary Coach Joe Paterno Dead At 85 - Paterno coached the Nittany Lions for over four decades, and in 2011 became the winningest coach in Division

Lindsay Lohan Avoids Temptation At Jewelry Store - Lilo emerged from the jewelry store to find two parking tickets on her luxury vehicle's windshield. Girlfriend, that's fate warning you to stay the hell away from jewelry stores.

School Board: High School Can't Be Known As 'The Cougars'! Name Too Racy - What would be wrong anyway with a high school named after women who are on the prowl for much younger men? Cougars (the human ones) deserve respect like any other minority.

Two Escapees Take Car For Test Drive, And Don't Come Back - Were the men wearing matching orange jumpsuits, and the salesmen thought they were just making a unique fashion statement?

Sarah Palin Calls Media 'Dumb Arses' Over Coverage Of Newt Gingrich's Open Marriage Issue - Gingrich panders to the family values crowd, and isn't exactly gay-friendly, he deserves to be condemned for his hypocrisy.

Sarah Palin Endorses Newt Gingrich (Sort Of) - Palin may wish for the GOP nomination process to go on for months, but most Americans are sick and tired of the Republican traveling circus/reality show.

Moron Fires Gun At Busy Bubbles Laundromat's Change Machine - Ever hear of a crowbar?

Etta James Dead At 73! May She Rest In Peace! - At last Etta is free from the trials and tribulations of this world. Rest in peace Etta!

Newt Gingrich On Fire, He Embodies Wrath Of White GOP Electorate - Gingrich ain't no choir boy, but the hypocritical religious conservatives overlook his many moral failings because they love his rage more than they love the baby Jesus.

Perry Quits, Santorum Wins Iowa, Romney Implodes, Gingrich's Ex-Wife Tells All - Rick Santorum wins Iowa, Rick Perry quits the race, Newt Gingrich's ex-wife explosive interview to be aired tonight. It's getting very interesting...

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