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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Smiley Face Oyster Will Be Family's Guest Of Honor At Their Thanksgiving Meal - Eva has been keeping the oyster in a bowl of water in the fridge, and she plans on making him the guest of honor for the Thanksgiving meal.

64 Drivers Cited For Failing To Yield To Cop Dressed As A Turkey! - Getting a ticket from a police officer is a humiliating experience; I can only imagine how embarrassing it is to be issued a traffic citation by a cop in a turkey costume.

Christians Are The Worst Tippers! Would Jesus Stiff The Server? - Leaving a religious tract that looks like a $10 bill under a plate for a waiter, is a cruel and wicked trick.

Video: Hottie Russian Anchor Flips Warmonger Obama The Bird - Limanova claims she didn't realize she was on the air -- all I can say is "You Go Girl!"

Burglar Left Himself Logged Into Facebook On Victim's Computer! Oxygen Thief! - After been forced to leave his car behind at White's house Trevor should have realized that he can't pull off a successful caper with the rotting cabbage that he calls his brain.

Honest (Crazy?) Man Gets To Keep $700 He Turned Over To Cops - The average dude who finds a paper bag containing a stash of cash, without any identification, will imagine that he sees the words "From God to You" written on the bag.

Kid, 4, To Cops: Daddy Shot Mommy With A Gun, Bang, Bang! Classic! - If wee Brody is allowed to testify in court "Daddy shot my Mommy, Bang, Bang", Jason will spend the rest of his life behind bars.

Herman Cain Thinks He Will Be GOP Nominee Because Blacks Will Vote For Him - Cain won't even garner enough votes, from blacks or white. to survive beyond Iowa. He's a dead candidate walking, going through the motions.

Best Video Of All-Time: LMFAO's 'Party Rock Anthem'! Everyday I'm Shuffling! - LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem' is a parody of the 2002 horror film 28 Days Later.

Two Million Year Mystery: Graveyard Of 75 Fossilized Whales Found In Chile - More than 2 million years ago, scores of whales congregating off the Pacific Coast of South America mysteriously met their end.

Pastor Holds Kissing Contest During Worship Service! Gimmick Or Blessing? - Five minutes is a long time to make out, the minister is taking a big risk, one of the couples may decide to go all the way, in front of God, the congregation and the hustler preacher.

Madness Down Under: Aussie Pooch Drives A Mobile Home - In the Land Down Under it's not unusual for a Dingo to steal a baby, a man to wrestle a crocodile, or a kangaroo to go bonkers in a supermarket.

Man Gets 80 Years For Using Fake Cash To Buy Hot Dog At A Movie Theatre - I can't afford to buy a hot dog at a movie theatre, printing money to be able to afford taking your family to the movies is not so nuts.

Lady Gaga Insists She's Not In A Feud With Madonna - I would pay to see a cage fight between Madonna and Lady Gaga, Madonna may be much older, but she would pummel Gaga with her muscular arms.

Miami Condo: You Will Be Able To Drive To Your 36th Floor Apartment - The futuristic-looking Porsche Design Tower will be a sparkling jewel in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

Fake MD Arrested For Injecting Cement Into Lady's Butt! Baby Got Back! - Most guys give a wide berth to a woman with junk in her trunk; if a "Baby got Back" comes our way we tell her to back that booty out of here.

Video: Demonic 'Play And Giggle Triplets' Dolls Swear Like Drunken Sailor - If your child is scribbling "666" on your walls, perhaps it's time to throw her Giggle Tripplets doll in the trash, and replace it with a Cabbage Patch Kids doll.

Daffy Drunk Dude Donning 'Im A Drunk' Shirt Dumped In Drunk Tank - A drunk dude wearing a T-shirt that reads "I`m a drunk" plows into a patrol car of a policeman who was on drunk driving duty: Open and shut case.

Drunk Dude In Porsche Chases Two Ladies Of Dubious Virtue In Pink Hummer - I don't know what's the most deplorable aspect of this incident! A drunk man getting behind the wheel of a Porsche? The two women stealing a drunk guy's money? Or painting a Hummer pink?

OMG! Herman Cain Thinks Taliban Running Libya - Not to put too fine a point on it, but Herman Cain is an ignoramus who has no business running for president.

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