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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Dead Birds In Arkansas, Dead Fish In Norway: Are Mayan Prophecies True? - The stench of thousands of dead fish must be dreadful, but not as dreadful as the stench of millions of dead human beings. Let's hope that the Maya prophecies turn out to be another Y2K hype.

Herman Cain, Please Do The Right Thing And Disappear! - The only TV option that should be open to the randy minister is a reality show based on how he juggles his lovers.

All I Want For Christmas Is A Shotgun! Record Gun Sales This Christmas! - The Maya prophecy that the world, as we know it, will end in 2012 may also have to do something with the record-breaking firearm sales.

Cops Not Amused By Couple's Naked Drive-Through Stunt At McDonald's - I wonder what the drive-through clerk said to them: Do you want fries with that, or a towel?

Video: The Horror, The Horror! Kathy Griffin Strips Down To Bra & Panties On CNN - Folks usually sip champagne when the clock strikes twelve on New Year's Eve, but CNN views were gulping whisky.

2012 Begins With Dead Birds, Will It End With Mayan Prophecy Fulfilled? - As the signs and omens pile up like the carcasses of thousands of dead birds, I won`t be the only blogger writing in an apocalyptic tone.

'Animal Friends' Advocacy Group Saves Dozens Of Animals From Death - PETA should take notice and stop engaging in silly publicity stunts, and take concrete actions to save animals from certain death.

Busted: DUI Suspect Had Receipt For $140 Bar Tab In His Pocket! - Alcoholics don't just lie to police, they also lie to their friends and family, even when it's obvious they have a problem.

Dog Barks, Dude Shoots Himself With Gun Under Pillow - Ebberts shot himself in the left forearm with a .410 shotshell. He was taken to a hospital by ambulance for treatment. I

Swedish Woman Finds Her Lost Wedding Ring After 16 Years - Lena's ring will have to be re-sized, because in the last few years her finger has grown larger. Let's hope that the love that these lovebirds share has also grown larger.

Robert Paul Reyes: My Top Ten New Year's Resolutions - To express my gratitude to those people who have been a blessing to me. I hereby thank Judyth Piazza, the CEO and Grand Poobah of TheSop.Org.

She-Devil Hurls Pink Paint At Her Ex-Boyfriend's Car! - A judge ordered the psycho woman to stay away from her ex-boyfriend, and all weapons, including paint. The clueless judge should have thrown her in jail, instead of cracking jokes.

Cops Find Pot-Filled Christmas Presents In Dude's Car - I have a feeling the cops had a very Merry Christmas, smoking all their troubles away. And I have a feeling Palmer had a rotten Christmas, I`m sure his old lady gave him grief for getting the kids in trouble.

Would You Patronize A Restaurant With Topless Waitresses? - If a topless server asked me if I wanted milk with my coffee, I would be reluctant to say yes. She might just serve me milk straight from the tap...

Fans Hate On Kelly Clarkson For Her Twitter Endorsement Of Ron Paul - Clarkson won't be embraced by her fans until she makes an abject apology and renounces her support of Ron Paul.

Spanish Nativity Scene Portrays Mary And Joseph As Jobless - If the Nativity took place in an abandoned tenement building in New York City, Mary and Joseph would be arrested as vagrants and squatters.

McDonald's Cheeseburger Looks The Same After One Year! Not Loving It! - After one year the McDonald's cheeseburger still smells slightly like a burger, in other words it still smells exactly as it did the day she bought it.

Asst. Principal Patrick Lott Arrested For Videotaping Young Boys In Shower - Child molesters will NEVER overcome their sick urges, predators like Lott and Sandusky should spend the rest of their lives behind bars.

Crazy Woman Calls 911 Because She Ate Too Much Food - I've seen pics of the 911 caller online, Mary Ellen Lisee, and homegirl needs to call Jenny Craig, not 911.

UK Police Chief Mad As Hell: Tired Of Getting Calls About UFO's, Zombies, And Vampires - Chief Constable Ian Arundale is frustrated and annoyed that his officers are forced to waste time and resources responding to calls about zombies, UFO's and vampires.

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