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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Outrage: Two Ladies Offer To Flash Their Boobs For A Beer - I`ve seen their mugshots; I would have bought them a keg of beer to keep their tops on.

DVD Review By Robert Paul Reyes: Things I Don't Understand - I know reviewers aren't supposed to talk about themselves, but what the hell this movie touched me -- so sue me.

Silly Boy Steals Wal-mart $5 Tomato Plant, Thought It Was Pot Plant - If you steal a "pot plant" and it turns out to be a $5 tomato plant, from Wal-Mart for God's sake, you'll never make it as a burglar.

OMG! Two Daring Ladies Grab Obama's Behind When Posing With Him - There's a double standard, if I grabbed Sarah Palin's butt during a photo op, her body guards would be on me like white on rice. That's not fair I would love to pick Sarah Palin's brain, by touching her booty.

Newark Gang Leaders Call For 'Day Of Calm' To Honor Whitney Houston - Perhaps the gang leaders can take it a step further, and name a brand of crack after the pop legend. Whitney's name has a lot of appeal, what crackhead wouldn't want to buy "Houston Crack?"

Outrage: Son Evicts His Mom On Her 98th Birthday! - Mary should be able to spend the rest of her days in her home; she has many kind people who drop in to make sure she is OK.

Elvis The Famous Runaway Elk Finds Home In West Virginia Wildlife Center - Every animal, not just cute kittens and puppies, deserve to live.

LA Shock Jocks Suspended For Telling Truth About Whitney Houston - The radio management stated that they don't "condone, support or tolerate statements of this kind." What they are really saying is that they don't condone the truth.

In Praise Of James T. Kirk: Captain Of The Starship Enterprise - When the crew of the Enterprise discovered a blue-skinned gorgeous alien, before Spock could say "fascinating", and before Bones could say "she's dead Jim", Kirk was already knocking boots with her.

Whitney Houston Candle Tribute Sets House On Fire - Let's hope that this poor woman's Whitney collection was undamaged, that would have been too huge a loss to bear.

Stop The Insanity: Couple Gets Married At Walmart - Walmart is one of the most evil corporations in the world, I will never set foot inside the store, not even to attend a friend's wedding.

Do You Think Whitney Houston Was A Lesbian? - In 2000 Whitney responded to the rumors by stating: "I am a mother, not a lesbian. I am not gay". Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Flags In New Jersey To Be Lowered In Honor Of Crackhead Whitney Houston - It's understandable and proper for MTV, radio stations, and the Grammys to honor Whitney, but it's a crying shame that flags in New Jersey are being flown at half-staff in her honor.

Robert Paul Reyes DVD Review: Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings - All of the young persons die by the end of the movie, but the cannibals survive. Get ready for Wrong Turn 5: Buckets of Blood!

Insanity: Dude Gives Girlfriend His Kidney For Valentine's Day - Next Valentine's Day Trisha will still be walking around with Terry's kidney, but will he still be in her heart?

What's Valentine's Day Without A Little Bondage Role-Playing? - I hope all of my readers had as much fun as this couple on Valentine's Day.

DVD Review By Robert Paul Reyes: In The Name Of The King 2: Two Worlds - This flick has everything a fantasy film needs: A has-been leading man, a dragon, an evil king, a magical amulet, and a seer

Valentine's Day Kissing Marathon In Thailand - The winners will receive a diamond ring,and a voucher for a stay in a hospital. They should receive a crate of Chapstick as well.

Gorgeous Drunk Cowgirl Wearing Only Cowboy Boots Arrested On Valentine's Day - The cop who pulled her over on Valentine's Day must have faced quite a dilemma: Should he read her the Miranda Rights or recite a Valentine's Day poem?

DVD Review Of 'The Big Year' Starring Jack Black By Robert Paul Reyes - The film is labeled a comedy, but in spite of a cast featuring such comedic heavyweights like Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson, I didn't crack a smile even one time.


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