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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Video: Rick Perry Terrible Debater, Even Worse Speaker - When I watched this video I didn't know whether to reach for my bong or my gun.

Outrage: Dude Borrows Car, And Sells It On Craigslist! - Lessons to be learned from this incident: Never let anyone borrow your car! Even if a nun wants to borrow your ride, tell her to hitchhike. Never buy anything from Craiglist!

Yikes! Homeless Dude Severs His Arm With Home-Made Guillotine - An individual this mentally unstable is capable of hurting not only himself, but others as well. Thank goodness that with only one arm it will be difficult for this unfortunate soul to hurt anyone.

Herman Cain's Smoking Ad Boring! John Huntsman's Daughters Ad Smoking Hot! - Dozens of parodies of this commercial have been posted on YouTube for your entertainment, but the one released by John Huntsman's drop-dead gorgeous daughters is head and shoulders above the rest.

Gym Teacher Fakes Bomb Threat, Didnt' Feel Like Going To Work That Day! - Jennifer Gomes told the police she left a note saying there was a bomb in the school, because she didn't want to go to work that day.

Hapless Couple Lost In Apple Orchard, Calls 911! - Who the hell picks apples in an apple orchard, other than hobos and hillbillies?

Liberal Comic Orlando Jones Tweets: Kill Sarah Palin! - The smiley face at the end of Orlando's tweet doesn't lessen its hateful impact. Is it OK if a Tea Party member tweets "Orlando Jones should be hanging from a tree", as long as he ends his tweet with a smiley face?

Should Pop Tart Lady Gaga Or Pop Icon Madonna Play Super Bowl Halftime Show? - I can only imagine the havoc Lady Gaga would wreak at the Super Bowl, she would make Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction look like an innocent 3rd grade show and tell presentation.

Video: US Dismantles Colossal Super Duper B-53 Nuclear Bomb - I'm not sleeping any easier because this cold war relic has been destroyed, the US and Russia have a gazillion nuclear bombs and we can destroy our little blue planet a hundred times over.

Dude Firebombs Taco Bell: Outraged Chalupa Didn't Have Enough Meat - Taco Bell has been accused of allegedly fixing tacos that contained only 30 percent real meat, even if his chalupas weighed a pound each he'd be lucky if they contained an ounce of real meat.

Chaz Bono Eliminated From DWTS! Chaz Complains About Fat Jokes! - Chaz Bono is the most ungrateful Ewok in the world, the penguin should have been grateful that he was selected as a contestant on "Dancing with the Stars" even though he's not a star and he can't dance.

Coroner: Pop Tart Amy Winehouse Died Of Alcohol Poisoning - Amy Winehouse wasn't the first nor will she be the last to succumb to drugs and alcohol, but there is hope for drug addicts and alcoholics.

Video: Herman Cain's Web Ad Featuring Mark Block Is Disturbing, Creepy & Evil! - Former CEO of Godfather's Pizza, Herman Cain, is leading in most of the national polls, he doesn't have to resort to cheap gimmicks to bring attention to his campaign.

Top Ten Ways To Look Like Lady Gaga For Halloween - Ask a friend to hit you over the head with a sledgehammer, that's the best way to capture Lady Gaga's "dazed and confused" look.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan To Pose For Playboy For Cool Million? - I won't be buying the issue of Playboy featuring Lohan, if the pop tart's teeth are rotting, God only knows what the rest of her body parts look like.

Video: Northern Lights (Aurora) Greatest Show In The Universe - I'm glad that I was able to pull myself from the foolishness on the boob tube, and witness the majesty of the Northern Lights.

Outrage: Iranian Actress Marzieh Vafamehr To Be Lashed 90 Times With Whip - If John Travolta was sentenced to 90 lashes for his rotten acting in "Battleship Earth", nobody Democrat or Republican, Muslim or infidel dog would complain.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Gets Her Disgusting Yellow Teeth Whitened - There are only two plausible explanations, the pop diva either munches on sweets all day long and doesn't brush her teeth or she's a meth head.

Herman Cain And Sarah Palin: Making A Mockery Of The Democratic Process - If we want to rid the democratic process of interlopers like Herman Cain and Sarah Palin, the press must stop shoving microphones in their faces and the public must ignore them.

Bentley Outraged Paris Hilton Drives A Pink Bentley Continental GT - CEO's, politicians, and other successful individuals own Bentleys, but Paris Hilton is probably the only one who drives a pink version.

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