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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

'Animal Friends' Advocacy Group Saves Dozens Of Animals From Death - PETA should take notice and stop engaging in silly publicity stunts, and take concrete actions to save animals from certain death.

Busted: DUI Suspect Had Receipt For $140 Bar Tab In His Pocket! - Alcoholics don't just lie to police, they also lie to their friends and family, even when it's obvious they have a problem.

Dog Barks, Dude Shoots Himself With Gun Under Pillow - Ebberts shot himself in the left forearm with a .410 shotshell. He was taken to a hospital by ambulance for treatment. I

Swedish Woman Finds Her Lost Wedding Ring After 16 Years - Lena's ring will have to be re-sized, because in the last few years her finger has grown larger. Let's hope that the love that these lovebirds share has also grown larger.

Robert Paul Reyes: My Top Ten New Year's Resolutions - To express my gratitude to those people who have been a blessing to me. I hereby thank Judyth Piazza, the CEO and Grand Poobah of TheSop.Org.

She-Devil Hurls Pink Paint At Her Ex-Boyfriend's Car! - A judge ordered the psycho woman to stay away from her ex-boyfriend, and all weapons, including paint. The clueless judge should have thrown her in jail, instead of cracking jokes.

Cops Find Pot-Filled Christmas Presents In Dude's Car - I have a feeling the cops had a very Merry Christmas, smoking all their troubles away. And I have a feeling Palmer had a rotten Christmas, I`m sure his old lady gave him grief for getting the kids in trouble.

Would You Patronize A Restaurant With Topless Waitresses? - If a topless server asked me if I wanted milk with my coffee, I would be reluctant to say yes. She might just serve me milk straight from the tap...

Fans Hate On Kelly Clarkson For Her Twitter Endorsement Of Ron Paul - Clarkson won't be embraced by her fans until she makes an abject apology and renounces her support of Ron Paul.

Spanish Nativity Scene Portrays Mary And Joseph As Jobless - If the Nativity took place in an abandoned tenement building in New York City, Mary and Joseph would be arrested as vagrants and squatters.

McDonald's Cheeseburger Looks The Same After One Year! Not Loving It! - After one year the McDonald's cheeseburger still smells slightly like a burger, in other words it still smells exactly as it did the day she bought it.

Asst. Principal Patrick Lott Arrested For Videotaping Young Boys In Shower - Child molesters will NEVER overcome their sick urges, predators like Lott and Sandusky should spend the rest of their lives behind bars.

Crazy Woman Calls 911 Because She Ate Too Much Food - I've seen pics of the 911 caller online, Mary Ellen Lisee, and homegirl needs to call Jenny Craig, not 911.

UK Police Chief Mad As Hell: Tired Of Getting Calls About UFO's, Zombies, And Vampires - Chief Constable Ian Arundale is frustrated and annoyed that his officers are forced to waste time and resources responding to calls about zombies, UFO's and vampires.

Bill Maher's Profane Tweet About Tim Tebow Gets Christians Steaming Mad - In a perfect world Tebow wouldn't tebow in public, and Bill Maher wouldn't go out of his way to infuriate Christians.

Charming Florida Couple Celebrates 70 Years of Marriage - What a wonderful and sweet story, I wish the McQuaigs nothing but happiness.

Riot At Saks Over Designer Shoes! Riots At Malls Over Nike Sneakers! Racism In US - People are people, it doesn't matter if they are urban youth or trendy fashionistas. Whenever a department store holds a limited-hour sale with very few items of a coveted product available-- chaos will ensue.

Angora Goat Runs Away From Nativity Scene - I hope the runaway goat will be found by a person who loves and respects animals.

The Case Of The Stolen Christmas Inflatable Penguin - If my readers are wondering why I`m writing about this non-event, it`s because oddball news items often reveal the pettiness of the human experience, and the meaningless of life.

An Intruder In His Undies, A Homeowner With A Shotgun, And A Tiki Torch - I would have been so offended at the spectacle of an intruder in his underwear threatening me with a Tiki torch, that I would have blown him away to Kingdom Come.


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