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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Repo Company Sued For $5 Million Over Half A Tank Of Gas - Heed the advice of Public Enemy: Fight the Power!

Would You Buy A Chicken McNugget That Looks Like George Washington? - I don't think the McNugget looks like George Washingtion anymore than it looks like Flavor Flav, but what the heck the money is going to a good cause.

Naked Burglar Steals Bottle Of Rum, Homeowner Gives Him Underwear - I'm also interested why Kluesener stole a bottle of Captain Morgan rum, you'd think he would have stolen underpants first.

Lady Shoplifts Crest Whitestrips And Places Them In Mouth - Stovall stole cosmetics and torch oil, if the cosmetics failed to improve her looks was she planning on setting herself on fire?

Amazing Survey: 100% Of Respondents Admit They Steal Pens! - When I worked for an insurance company there was a fellow who had a habit of upgrading, he would purloin an expensive pen and leave a cheap Bic pen in its place.

Stop The Insanity: Dude Tries To Rob A Gas Station With Finger - Dude, next time don a hockey mask, instead of putting a plastic bag over your head. A hockey mask elicits fear, a plastic bag ridicule.

John Edwards Sex Tape To Be Shredded! Edwards Ruined, Democracy Will Survive - What was Rielle thinking, leaving the sex tape in a box of trash, if she had any sense she would have burned it and then buried the ashes.

T-Shirt Sales: Mitt Romney Finally Catches Up With Sarah Palin - Palin has so many catchphrases that are tailor-made for T-shirts: Going Rogue, Mama Grizzly, You Betcha! What's a Romney T-short going to say, It would be prudent to vote for Romney?

Sarah Palin Hints It's Not Too Late To Run For President - If tired of watching Palin and Trump on TV, I wish Fox would drop Palin, and that NBC would tell the Donald: You're Fired!

Sarah Palin Wee-Weed Up Over Santorum Satan Controversy - You can use all wee-weed up in just about any context for example: Palin is hot, I get all wee-weed up when I hear her babbling nonsense on the Fox News channel.

Southern Insanity: North Carolina Hospital Evacuated Due To Bats! - The hospital staff should have offered the patients free moonshine to ease their discomfort.

Dude Brandishing A Light Bulb Tries To Rob Gas Station - Watt the heck was he thinking?

Did Teen Really Lift Buick To Free Grandpa? - Smith credits adrenaline for the miracle, he should credit chutzpah.

DVD Review By Robert Paul Reyes: 'The Rebound' Starring Catherine Zeta-Jones - There must be real chemistry between the leading actors for a romantic comedy to work, especially if it`s a May-December romance .There would be more s*xual tension on the screen if Adam Lambert and Oprah Winfrey played the lead roles.

Gaffe Machine Joe Biden To Visit 'Road Island' - Biden is no Rhodes Scholar, but he does know that it's Rhode Island, right?

Survey: 35 Percent Of Adult Brits Sleep With A Teddy Bear - Men need to come out of the closet, don't hide your teddy bear when your girlfriend comes over to spend the night. In these perilous times, we all need a teddy bear to make it through the night.

Hemy Neuman Insane: Thinks Barry White Is Demon & Olivia Newton-John An Angel - Clearly somebody who equates Barry White with evil, and Olivia Newton-John with good can't tell the difference between right and wrong.

Dude Without A Stitch Of Clothing Goes Shoplifting At Walmart - In a sane world it would have been a supermodel sashaying around in a Walmart sans clothing.

Pop Tart Paris Hilton Wins $30,000 Playing Blackjack In Las Vegas - Paris Hilton needs to win $30,000 as much as Oprah Winfrey needs to win a coupon for a free dinner at a buffet restaurant.

Sarah Palin Catches Linsanity! Should Todd Palin Be Worried? - Sarah Palin is the latest basketball fan to come down with a case of Linsanity.


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