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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

What A Joke! Courtney Love Is Lindsay Lohan's Sobriety Coach - This is like Mike Tyson teaching an anger management class, Oprah Winfrey presiding over a weight-loss class, or Jessica Black being a singing instructor.

Herman Cain: The Perfect Black Candidate For Racist Whites Implodes! - The Cain Express ended in a trainwreck, and foolish blacks, Tea Party whites and clueless women who supported him are scurrying away from the wreckage in shame.

Firefighters Rescue Homeowner Stuck In His Chimney - I know this dude has already suffered enough, but he should be billed for the emergency call.

Justice For Michael Jackson! Conrad Murray Sentenced To 4 Years! - The millions of fans of Michael Jackson are breathing a sigh of relief, we can't bring back the King of Pop but a small measure of justice has been achieved.

Will Herman Cain Drop Out Of The Race? - Before this latest bombshell Cain was already slipping in the polls, he's dropped from a 1st tier candidate, to a 2nd tier candidate, the next stop for the Cain Train will be a derailment.

Amsterdam Airport Vending Machine Sells Welcome Banners - Have you ever seen a flunky at an airport holding up a banner with the name of a VIP? Ever wish some dude were holding up a sign at an airport welcoming you?

Frosty The Snowman Kicks Police Dog And Pummels Cop with Frosty Head - This creep committed the unpardonable sins of defiling the character of Frosty, scaring children, and abusing a dog.

Pop Tart Miley Cyrus Brags 'I'm A Stoner'! Is That So Bad? - I'm surprised Miley isn't a crack head or a drunk, imagine the embarrassment, humiliation and stress of being the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. Dude if Billy Ray were your father, you'd be smoking some weed also.

Toilet Paper Scam: Con Artists Prey On The Elderly - We should respect, value and protect the elderly, we're all going to be in their shoes one day.

Notorious 'Hamburglar' Turns Himself In To Police - This dude must have had a severe case of the munchies, to turn into the Hamburglar.

Hottie Stands On Street Corner In Bikini And Pumps In Bid To Find Her Pooch - I commend this beautiful lady for thinking outside the box, but her approach is destined to backfire. If I found Chippy I would adopt him, why would I return him if it meant that Arlene would stop standing in the street in a bikini?

Pot Grower Avoids Jail Sentence, Due To Poor Quality Of His Weed - Potheads may not know jack about about current events, mathematics or just about anything else, but they are experts when it comes to potology.

UFOs Turn Out To Be Transformer Fires - I'm not denying the possibility that extraterrestrial ships may be visiting our neck of the galaxy, but before we accept the fantastical we must first rule out the mundane.

Was Obama Wrong Not To Invoke God In His Thanksgiving Address To Nation? - Had Obama invoked a Creator in his speech without making direct reference to Jesus, he would have been accused of using code to praise Allah.

Obese Man Gets Time Off Jail Sentence For Losing Weight - McCovery was released in time for Thanksgiving -- bad move by the correctional authorities. It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a fitness guru to figure out that McCovery is going to gain back those 25 pounds over the holiday.

Creepy Criminal Steals Cute Bunny From Church Daycare Center - If there is a hell Benner will be locked away for all eternity in a cage with a giant demon rabbit who has a fetish of pulling eyelashes and pulling teeth.

Woman Beats Sister To Bloody Pulp: Mad She Used Her Bread To Make Toast - Upon witnessing her sister making toast with her bread, Maria went bonkers. She struck her younger sibling upside the head with a cooking pot, pulled her hair and for good measure slammed her head into the ground.

Smiley Face Oyster Will Be Family's Guest Of Honor At Their Thanksgiving Meal - Eva has been keeping the oyster in a bowl of water in the fridge, and she plans on making him the guest of honor for the Thanksgiving meal.

64 Drivers Cited For Failing To Yield To Cop Dressed As A Turkey! - Getting a ticket from a police officer is a humiliating experience; I can only imagine how embarrassing it is to be issued a traffic citation by a cop in a turkey costume.

Christians Are The Worst Tippers! Would Jesus Stiff The Server? - Leaving a religious tract that looks like a $10 bill under a plate for a waiter, is a cruel and wicked trick.

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