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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Why Seek Answers From Family Or Friends When You Can Ask Google? - I'm shocked that 40 percent of Brits rely on fallible human beings instead of Google-- what a backwards country! No wonder so many English folks are living on the dole.

Barbie Gets A Makeover Complete With Tattoos! Should Parents Be Worried? - It's not Barbie's tattoos that are a problem, it's her anorexic figure.

Old Woman Loves Sliders So Much She Makes White Castle Hall Of Fame - Constance celebrated by eating one slider; I guess at her age a tiny White Castle slider is as big as a Burger King Big Whopper.

Mom Knocked Unconscious, Her Hero Son, 3, Called 911! - If a mother is knocked unconscious the average two or three-year old will soil his Underoos and bawl like a baby. During an emergency most little kids are as useful as a bag of kitty litter.

Breaking News: Reuters Reports Khaddafy (Gadhafi) Killed - At around 0800 Eastern Time this morning Reuters reported that the Madman of the Middle East has been killed, the wire service provided details, lending credence to its report.

Mama Bear And Her Cubs Take Over Neighborhood Tree - Human beings are infringing on the habitat of bears and other wild animals, it's humans and not the bears who are the interlopers.

Politicians United In Their Fear And Loathing Of Snooki - I'm sure thousands of lemmings will attend the event for the privilege of meeting the head rodent. Beam me the hell out of here, Scotty!

Muslim Screams 'Allahu Akbar', Cowardly Airplane Passengers Fail To Act! - In a sane world Shahsavari would have been a bloodied mess by the time the plane landed and he was arrested by law enforcement officials. We are a nation of sheep!

70-Year-Old Dude Leads Expedition To Find Bigfoot - Greene said that the monster doesn't have a neck, maybe it was Rosie O'Donnell munching berries in the forest!

White House In Crisis Mode: Obama's Beloved Teleprompter Stolen! - Obama can get by without having a legitimate American birth certificate, but he's completely lost without a teleprompter.

Herman Cain: The Pizza Man Is A Fraud And A Racist! - Cain has a bogus economic plan, a racist immigration policy, and no foreign policy platform. The pretender should stick to doing what he does best: Selling pizzas and books.

Catapulting Pumpkins: Clean Manly Fun! - Men are little boys at heart, and I'm sure I'm not the only dude who would love to wreak havoc by catapulting pumpkins.

Would You Eat A Hissing Cockroach To Win Season Pass To Amusement Park? - I'd rather be Oprah Winfrey's manservant for a year, than eat a single Madagascar hissing cockroach. Call me prissy, but I prefer that my food doesn't hiss.

Pop Tart Lady Gaga: Hillary Clinton Is Hot! Say What? - Lady Gaga is a stone-cold liar, she will ingratiate herself with anyone who can further her career. We should never believe anything that emanates from her lying lips.

Calendar Featuring Hot Mail Carriers! Good Idea? - A calendar of postal pin-ups is a good idea, but it ain`t gonna save the US Postal Service from going bankrupt.

Brat, 4, Takes Mother's SUV On A Joyride - If the mom has any sense she will whack his backside and give him a couple more bruises, to make sure he won't engage in any more shenanigans.

LOL: Pop Tart Paris Hilton Gets Star In 'Walk Of Fame'...In Poland! - When I read the headline "Paris Hilton Gets Star in the Walk of Fame, I nearly had a heart attack. The apocalypse must be approaching I muttered to myself, as I made the sign of the cross.

Outrage: Herman Cain Proposes Electrified Fence On Border - Herman Cain is an Uncle Tom, plain and simple. He is pandering to the vilest instincts of the Tea Party crowd. Mr. Cain, how low will you descend to win the Republican nomination?

Statue Of Hindu Goddess Sheds Tears - I'd be a bit more impressed if the so-called goddess got off her rear end, and rebuilt the houses destroyed by the earthquake.

Principal Bans 'Risque' Breast Cancer Awareness T-Shirts - The slogan "Feel the lumps, save your bumps" is as wholesome as apple pie, and it brings awareness to breast cancer.


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