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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Blows Off Lame Ellen DeGeneres - Ellen's talk show is played out anyway, I'm tired of her lame dancing and her even lamer interviewing skills. As far as I'm concerned, everybody should blow off Ellen.

London Dude Walks Into Pubs With His Pet Reindeer - The English aren't as uptight as Americans, if some dude in America got on a bus with a reindeer the passengers would have a cow and the health authorities would be on him like white on rice.

Shoplifter Hacks Off Ear Of Guard Who Was Trying To Be RoboCop - Somebody needs to give Morrison an earful: Dude don't take your job too freakin' seriously.

Paris Hilton Throws Loud Party! Neighbors Furious! - I feel sorry for Hilton's neighbors, I'd rather have the Antichrist living next to me.

Fake MD, 81, Gets 1 Year In Jail For Offering Free Breast Exams - When did the two ladies notice something was amiss? Was it when they realized that Winikoff was salivating and that his hands were shaking because he was so excited?

David Axelrod Compares Newt Gingrich To A Monkey Exposing His Rear End - Newt is named after an aquatic amphibian, but his disposition and behavior more closely resembles a crotchety monkey.

Bad News: Pop Tart Lady Gaga Back On Twitter - Lady Gaga is so conceited and divorced from reality that she fancies that the world just can't survive without her banal tweets.

78-Year-Old Hunter Shot By His Own Dog! - The only thing a 78-year-old man should be hunting for is his dentures, this old man`s hunting license and his driver`s license should be immediately revoked.

Outrage: Teacher Hoses Down Pre-Kindergarten Student For Soiling His Pants - The child's rough treatment at the hands of his teacher will probably make him such a nervous wreck that he will wet his pants all the time.

Mitt Romney's Foolish $10,000 Bet With Rick Perry! - A presidential hopeful who isn't tone deaf would have bet a six-pac of beer, or a burger, only Mitt Romney would have bet 10,000 bucks. I bet a Big Mac that Romney had $10,000 in his wallet.

The Three Stooges Trailer! Does Snooki's Cameo Ruin The Movie? - Snooki's "Jersey Shore" is so putrid, that it may be the final nail in the coffin of reality TV. Snooki may very well have killed off the reality show genre, but let's hope she doesn't kill of another genre: Sophomoric movie comedies

Study: Swearing Is Good For You! - Profanity is like fine champagne, it's not supposed to be served indiscriminately, but reserved for special occasions.

Grinch Steals Trailer Full Of Gifts For Poor Children - Let's all of us remember those less fortunate this holiday season, it's a shame if even one family in this prosperous nation is hungry and forgotten this Christmas.

Evil Women Steal Christmas Decorations From Their Neighbors - These two ladies stole Christmas decorations from their neighbors and used them to decorate their own homes. One of these brainless thieves lives only a block from her victim's home.

Video: Jonah Mowry Profile In Courage! Young Boy's Anti-Bullying Video Goes Viral - Jonah's video has been viewed over seven million times -- let's hope that thousands of those viewers will join the fight against bullying and homophobia.

Sad Day In Japan! Pusuke The Oldest Dog In The World Dies At 26 - Pusuke was special because he was certified as the oldest dog in the world, but every mutt is special in his own way. Adopt a puppy or an old dog from an animal shelter, you won't regret it.

Hollywood City, Florida Officials Take Plunge In Canal After Sewage Spill - I applaud the Hollywood city officials for demonstrating the principle that actions speak louder than words. Commissioner O'Sheehan even took the plunge with her son in tow, she has earned the respect of her constituents.

Silly Swedes Sell Scrumptious Sausages Under Name "Obama" - What food item would you name after Obama? "Twinkies" should be renamed "Obamies", the Leader of the Free World is a wimp without a backbone.

Headless Body Found In Vero Beach - The cops say they will treat this case as a homicide until they can rule out otherwise.

Pop Tart Paris Hilton: God Makes Celebs - The Almighty is blamed for everything from earthquakes to hurricanes, it's unfair to blame Him for making celebs.

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