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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Dude Steals 18-Pack Of Beer To Impress Women - Authorities in Florida said a man who stole an 18-pack of Bud Light from a 7-Eleven store told deputies he took the beer to help him get women.

Top Ten Ways To Punish Harold Camping For Being Wrong About End Of World - Don't feed Oprah Winfrey for a couple of hours, and then unleash her on Camping.

Outrage! Stripper Kicked Out Of Adult Education School - A Swedish adult education student said she was kicked out of school for taking a job as a stripper and working part time as a prostitute.

No Hipster Worth His Salt Would Attend 'Hipster Church' - The pastor of a New York congregation dubbed the Hipster Church said he is trying to create 'a church for our generation.'

Harold Camping Freaks Anxiously Wait For May 21, 2011! Heathen Party! - One thing is for sure, I'm going to get my freak on Saturday to celebrate my intellectual and physical freedom from the bondage of religion.

Video: CNN Miracle! Lost Cat Returns While Grieving Owner Is Being Interviewed - What a heartwarming story! In the midst of tragedy there is a glimmer of hope for all the victims of the tornados.

MSNBC Pundit Chris Matthews: Sarah Palin Is Profoundly Stupid - I think Sarah Palin proved herself to be " I think she`s proven herself to be profoundly stupid, "

Creep Of Year: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harold Camping Or Strauss-Kahn? - Who is the biggest creep: Former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger, Former IMF Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn or End of the World preacher Harold Camping?

Would You Buy An Obama 'Made In USA' T-Shirt? - President Barack Obama's campaign team is selling T-shirts that sport a picture of the president's face and the slogan, 'Made in the USA' fundraisers said.

Fearless Teacup Poodle Chases Cowardly Black Bear Up A Tree! - A Washington state man said his teacup poodle chased an approximately 200-pound black bear up a tree in his back yard.

American Idol Final Two Prediction: Hottie Haley Reinhart And Scotty McCreery - Haley Reinhart is the most beautiful contestant in the history of American Idol, and she's also one of the most talented.

Hottie Bristol Palin's New Reality Show Destined To Bomb! - I can't imagine Bristol engaging in any sexual shenanigans with the Massey brothers, baby-faced Kyle looks like the Michelin Man's illegitimate child and Chris looks mentally-challenged.

Top Ten Opening Lines Arnold Schwarzenegger Could Have Used On Housekeeper - You're an immigrant, I'm an immigrant! Let's express solidarity by screwing.

Top 10 Reasons Why Harold Camping Is Wrong: World Won't End May, 21,2011 - The billboards on Highland Avenue in Salem and Cabot Street in Beverly have been hard to miss: 'Judgment Day ... May 21 ... The Bible Guarantees It.'

Chemically-Laced Watermelons Exploding In China! Don't Buy Chinese Products! Don't Shop At Walmart - Fields of watermelons exploded when he and other agricultural workers in eastern China mistakenly applied forchlorfenuron, a growth accelerator.

Lazy Cakes 'Relaxation Brownies': Mom's Best Friend! Knocks Out Brats - Two towns in the state of Massachusetts are moving to ban sales of a 'relaxation' brownie named Lazy Cakes, laced with melatonin and sold in food markets, after children who ate them required hospitalization.

Creep Steals Girl's Pink Bike Hours After His Release From Jail! - Police in California said they arrested a man seen riding a stolen pink bicycle mere hours after his release from jail.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Love Child With Maid! Feel Sorry For Maria Shriver? - The Governator fathered a child more than a decade ago with a member of the household staff.

OMG! Are Madonna And Lady Gaga Related? Say It Ain't So! - According to celebrity genealogist Chris Child, Gaga and Madonna are distant cousins.

What A Wonderful World: Grandma Beheaded In Supermarket - A British woman beheaded in an apparently random supermarket attack in Spain's Canary Islands has been identified as grandmother Jennifer Mills-Westley.

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