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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Herman Cain And Sarah Palin: Making A Mockery Of The Democratic Process - If we want to rid the democratic process of interlopers like Herman Cain and Sarah Palin, the press must stop shoving microphones in their faces and the public must ignore them.

Bentley Outraged Paris Hilton Drives A Pink Bentley Continental GT - CEO's, politicians, and other successful individuals own Bentleys, but Paris Hilton is probably the only one who drives a pink version.

Doomsday Preacher Harold Camping Wrong Again! No Rapture! - Harold Camping has a penchant for predicting the end of the world when he's running short of funds, the kooky preacher has predicted doomsday as many as 12 times.

Video: Huge Hole Near North Lawn Of White House! What The Heck Is Going On? - Is it a tunnel to Kenya that will allow Obama to secretly visit his place of birth?

Harrisburg Cancels Christmas Parade! Other Cities Should Do The Same! - Will somebody please organize a parade celebrating the spirit of Scrooge?

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan Mopping Floors, Cleaning Toilets At The Morgue - The starlet's stint in the morgue may serve to humiliate her, but it won't motivate her to turn her life around. Lohan has too many sycophants and enablers surrounding her -- not to mention her toxic mother.

Why Are Liberals Afraid To Question Herman Cain's Intellect? - In the past I have implied that Cain isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, let me now explicitly declare that Herman Cain is a moron.

'Spider-Man' Tries To Hold Up Convenience Store! Clerks Beat Him Silly! - Donning the Spider-Man mask probably made Foughty feel a little bit heroic, but he sure didn't feel like a super hero after the two clerks were done teaching him a lesson.

John Travolta Humiliated: He's Denied Reservations At Kentucky Fried Chicken - Imagine Travolta's shock and humiliation when he learned that he was denied reservations at KFC. Travolta hasn't been this crushed since he read the reviews for his godawful movie Battlefield Earth.

Why Seek Answers From Family Or Friends When You Can Ask Google? - I'm shocked that 40 percent of Brits rely on fallible human beings instead of Google-- what a backwards country! No wonder so many English folks are living on the dole.

Barbie Gets A Makeover Complete With Tattoos! Should Parents Be Worried? - It's not Barbie's tattoos that are a problem, it's her anorexic figure.

Old Woman Loves Sliders So Much She Makes White Castle Hall Of Fame - Constance celebrated by eating one slider; I guess at her age a tiny White Castle slider is as big as a Burger King Big Whopper.

Mom Knocked Unconscious, Her Hero Son, 3, Called 911! - If a mother is knocked unconscious the average two or three-year old will soil his Underoos and bawl like a baby. During an emergency most little kids are as useful as a bag of kitty litter.

Breaking News: Reuters Reports Khaddafy (Gadhafi) Killed - At around 0800 Eastern Time this morning Reuters reported that the Madman of the Middle East has been killed, the wire service provided details, lending credence to its report.

Mama Bear And Her Cubs Take Over Neighborhood Tree - Human beings are infringing on the habitat of bears and other wild animals, it's humans and not the bears who are the interlopers.

Politicians United In Their Fear And Loathing Of Snooki - I'm sure thousands of lemmings will attend the event for the privilege of meeting the head rodent. Beam me the hell out of here, Scotty!

Muslim Screams 'Allahu Akbar', Cowardly Airplane Passengers Fail To Act! - In a sane world Shahsavari would have been a bloodied mess by the time the plane landed and he was arrested by law enforcement officials. We are a nation of sheep!

70-Year-Old Dude Leads Expedition To Find Bigfoot - Greene said that the monster doesn't have a neck, maybe it was Rosie O'Donnell munching berries in the forest!

White House In Crisis Mode: Obama's Beloved Teleprompter Stolen! - Obama can get by without having a legitimate American birth certificate, but he's completely lost without a teleprompter.

Herman Cain: The Pizza Man Is A Fraud And A Racist! - Cain has a bogus economic plan, a racist immigration policy, and no foreign policy platform. The pretender should stick to doing what he does best: Selling pizzas and books.


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