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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Would You Buy An Obama 'Made In USA' T-Shirt? - President Barack Obama's campaign team is selling T-shirts that sport a picture of the president's face and the slogan, 'Made in the USA' fundraisers said.

Fearless Teacup Poodle Chases Cowardly Black Bear Up A Tree! - A Washington state man said his teacup poodle chased an approximately 200-pound black bear up a tree in his back yard.

American Idol Final Two Prediction: Hottie Haley Reinhart And Scotty McCreery - Haley Reinhart is the most beautiful contestant in the history of American Idol, and she's also one of the most talented.

Hottie Bristol Palin's New Reality Show Destined To Bomb! - I can't imagine Bristol engaging in any sexual shenanigans with the Massey brothers, baby-faced Kyle looks like the Michelin Man's illegitimate child and Chris looks mentally-challenged.

Top Ten Opening Lines Arnold Schwarzenegger Could Have Used On Housekeeper - You're an immigrant, I'm an immigrant! Let's express solidarity by screwing.

Top 10 Reasons Why Harold Camping Is Wrong: World Won't End May, 21,2011 - The billboards on Highland Avenue in Salem and Cabot Street in Beverly have been hard to miss: 'Judgment Day ... May 21 ... The Bible Guarantees It.'

Chemically-Laced Watermelons Exploding In China! Don't Buy Chinese Products! Don't Shop At Walmart - Fields of watermelons exploded when he and other agricultural workers in eastern China mistakenly applied forchlorfenuron, a growth accelerator.

Lazy Cakes 'Relaxation Brownies': Mom's Best Friend! Knocks Out Brats - Two towns in the state of Massachusetts are moving to ban sales of a 'relaxation' brownie named Lazy Cakes, laced with melatonin and sold in food markets, after children who ate them required hospitalization.

Creep Steals Girl's Pink Bike Hours After His Release From Jail! - Police in California said they arrested a man seen riding a stolen pink bicycle mere hours after his release from jail.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Love Child With Maid! Feel Sorry For Maria Shriver? - The Governator fathered a child more than a decade ago with a member of the household staff.

OMG! Are Madonna And Lady Gaga Related? Say It Ain't So! - According to celebrity genealogist Chris Child, Gaga and Madonna are distant cousins.

What A Wonderful World: Grandma Beheaded In Supermarket - A British woman beheaded in an apparently random supermarket attack in Spain's Canary Islands has been identified as grandmother Jennifer Mills-Westley.

Say It Ain't So! Entenmann's Donuts Moldy And Smell Funny? - According to the FDA recall notice, the recalled donuts may develop an uncharacteristic smell and become moldy.

Poindexter Glasses-Wearing Nerdy Burglar: Dumbest Criminal Of 2011 - Seattle police said a nervous and near-sighted burglar was foiled when he dropped his glasses.

OMG! Bristol Palin Has Gone Gangsta And Hollywood! - Bristol suddenly looks like somebody else. Her round face has turned heart-shaped. Her chin and cheekbones are pointed.

Two Brats Kicked Off School Bus For Passing Wind In Unison - Calling a flatulence attack by two middle school students an obscene gesture, school officials in Ohio decided to kick the kids off their school bus.

TMI! Celebs For God's Sake Stop Using Twitter! Spare Us! - Celebrities who bombard fans with Twitter updates are likely to have shorter careers than those who maintain an aura of mystique, according to a survey.

Harold Camping Cult Predicts Christ Returns May 21, 2011! Are You Scared? - A retired New York City transit worker (Robert Fitzpatrick) has spent $140,000, which he says is his entire savings, on ads warning bus and

Would A Road Sign Depicting A Skeleton Scare You Into Obeying Speed Limit? - New York City is resorting to images of skeletons to scare drivers into obeying its 30 mph speed limit.

Breaking News: Stash Of Adult Videos Found In Osama bin Laden's Compound - Osama`s stash of porn gives a new meaning to the phrase "hard drive." Now we now why Osama didn`t go bonkers in his compound/prison, he had gazillions

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