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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Intruder Beats Hell Out Of Man With Dead Weasel - Washington state police said a man out searching for his girlfriend had a dead member of the weasel family with him when he entered a home and attacked a man.

Sarah Palin Documentary 'The Undefeated' An Unholy Abomination - 'The Undefeated,' the flattering new documentary about Sarah Palin, has inked a distribution deal with North America's second-largest movie theater chain for a July 15 release.

Soccer Team Mascot Fired For Sexy Calendar Shoot Gets Her Job Back! Amen! - The woman who portrays the mascot for Britain's Doncaster Rovers soccer team said she was angry to be fired after posing in lingerie for a charity calendar.

Holy Outrage! Construction Begins On New 51-Foot 'Touchdown Jesus' Statue! - Construction started Wednesday on a 51-foot-tall replacement for the famous 'Touchdown Jesus' statue off Interstate 75 in Ohio.

Tour Promoters Ban Amy Winehouse From Drinking! Good Luck With That! - Hotel bosses have reportedly been ordered to empty their mini-bars ahead of Amy Winehouse's European tour.

Outrage! Simon Cowell Fires Cheryl Cole From X-Factor! - Cheryl Cole is said to be furious over the humiliation she has been subjected to and has told friends she is through with her friendship with Simon Cowell.

Hot Topless Drunk Driver Brings Joy To Many - Police in Florida said a bare-breasted drunken driving suspect crossed double solid lines and tried to evade police while traveling 20 mph under the limit.

Margaret Thatcher Disses Sarah Palin - Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.

'Born This Way' A Flop! Lady Gaga Should Have Joined The Circus - 'Born this Way' sold only 169,387 copies last week. That's a drop of 85% from the first week.

Days After Leaving Rehab Pop Tart Amy Winehouse Drinking Like A Fish - Just four days after checking out of London's Priory Clinic, after a week of treatment to battle an alcohol addiction, she (Amy Winehouse) was back in her local boozer - 'flailing drunkenly' around the beer garden.

Solar Eruption! Most Spectacular Video In History! - Early this morning (07, June 2011) a massive and spectacular event took place on the Sun; a huge prominence eruption, marked by a solar flare and release of energetic particles.

'The World According To Paris Hilton' The Biggest Bomb In Reality TV History! - 'The World According to Paris,' premiered to a paltry 400,000 viewers on the Oxygen cable network last Wednesday.

Good News: Old Lady Curses 'Jersey Shore' Star Snooki - Snooki doesn't know the meaning of embarrassment, and she won't listen to rebukes or advice. Only a horrible curse might humble her, and make her give up her skanky behavior.

Outrage! France Bans Mention Of Twitter And Facebook In The Media - My editor doesn't subscribe to any such silly rule, please click my Twitter link at the bottom of this page. Don't forget to "like" this article on Facebook.

America's Sweetheart Reese Witherspoon Slams Paris Hilton And Kim Kardashian - Oh for those sweet and innocent days when only porn stars and Jerry Springer guests made homemade sex tapes.

'Beauty And The Beast' Barbershop, Barber Bites Off Client's Ear! - Police say they arrested a Trenton, N.J., barber who allegedly bit off half a customer's ear fighting over how long the barber was taking to cut the man's hair.

Cupcakes Not Bombs! Spies Use Cupcake Recipes To Disable Jihadist Web Site! - The cyber-warfare operation was launched by MI6 and GCHQ in an attempt to disrupt efforts by al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsular to recruit `lone-wolf` terrorists with a new English-language magazine, the Daily Telegraph

Sarah Palin Won't Debate June 13! Needs 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' Lifelines - Sarah Palin, a former Alaska Gov. and reality TV star, turned down an invitation today to the New Hampshire primary debate on June 13.

Flight Attendant Freaks Over White Powder On Diaper Changing Counter! It's Baby Powder! - Frontier Airlines employees on a U.S. flight called a hazmat team to examine a substance found on a diaper-changing counter that turned out to be baby powder.

OMG! Amy Winehouse Checks Out Of Rehab After Only A Week! - Singer Amy Winehouse has checked out of the treatment program in London she entered about a week ago.

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