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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Dude Drives 100 mph With Wife On Hood Of Minivan - A U.S. man high on methamphetamine drove with his wife on the hood of their minivan for more than 40 miles, hitting speeds of 100 mph, according to police.

God Bless America And God Bless Russian Spy Anna Chapman! - Today patriotic American boys are likely to have a poster of Anna Chapman cradling her face in hands adorned in Communist-red nail polish.

Dude Shoplifts WalMart Bras For His Jailbird Old Lady - Florida police said a man told an officer the two bras he stole from a Walmart store were gifts for his girlfriend to celebrate her upcoming release from jail.

Environmentalist Stressed Out Over Balloons Flying Over San Francisco - San Francisco environmental groups are criticizing a video game company for releasing 10,000 balloons into the air as part of a promotion for a new product.

Tearjerker: Little Girl Gives Coins To Cash-Strapped School - The principal of a Texas school said she was brought to tears when a second-grader brought a sack of coins to help the cash-strapped school district.

Outrage: Mike Huckabee Slams Natalie Portman For Out-Of-Wedlock Pregnancy - Mike Huckabee is knocking Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman for her out-of-wedlock pregnancy.

Evil Cop Brings Shame To Houston Police Department - The Houston Police Department said an officer was relieved of duty after allegedly throwing a tear gas canister during a barbecue cook-off.

Wall-e The Puppy Survives Euthanasia - An Oklahoma animal clinic said it was looking for a home for a puppy found alive in a dumpster after undergoing euthanasia.

Shame On America: Nine Boys Killed By NATO Helicopters In Afghanistan - Nine boys collecting firewood to heat their homes in the eastern Afghanistan mountains were killed by NATO helicopter gunners who mistook them for insurgents

Canadian Madness! ER Patients Put In Donut Shop - Canadian health authorities are defending a Vancouver-area hospital's decision to put overflow emergency room patients in a nearby coffee shop.

Lady Unfriends Her Man From Facebook: Holy Hell Ensues - Authorities in Florida said a fight that landed a couple in jail began as an argument about their status as Facebook friends.

Basketball Coach Amber Branson: Feminist Icon Or Self-Centered Loser? - Branson doesn't symbolize how far women have come, she represents the self-centered woman who puts her career ahead of everything and everyone else.

Royal Wedding Barf Bags Selling Like Hotcakes! - If you're finding the British royal wedding too much to stomach, then a souvenir sick bag could be just to your taste.

Pop Tart Paris Hilton Sues Lingerie Company - PARIS HILTON is taking legal action against an Italian lingerie company over allegations bosses at the firm failed to promote her fashion line in Europe.

Pop Tart Snooki Mobbed By Fans At A Book Signing - Snooki's fans are so illiterate they probably searched everywhere in Snooki's book for an on button. I figure that most of Snooki's fans will use her book as a paperweight.

Pop Tart Lindsay Lohan: I Feel Great! But Is She Clean And Sober? - Compared to the recent spate of incoherent interviews by Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan looked composed and confident in her recent interview with Extra.

Heidi The Adorable Cross-Eyed Opossum Correctly Predicts Oscar Winners - Heidi, Germany's cross-eyed celebrity opossum, came up one pick short of perfectly predicting top awards at the Oscars.

Dude Sues Strip Club, He Got Hit In The Face By A Flying Stripper's Shoe - An Indiana man's lawsuit for injuries he suffered when a stripper's shoe flew off during a performance and hit him in the teeth isn't far-fetched, lawyers say.

Is It Sexist To Call Sarah Palin A Bimbo? - Somebody needs to declare that the empress isn't wearing any clothes, I'm willing to take the flack by stating the obvious: Palin is a bimbo.

Only Fools Believe Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates... - The line from a movie that best describes the life philosophy of Americans is from 'Forrest Gump,' a U.S. survey indicates.


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