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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Senator Joe Manchin: Sir, You Are A Coward! - Why did Manchin miss such a crucial vote? Was he on his death bed? Did he have to attend the funeral of his wife? Was his son in a car accident? Not exactly -- he had to attend a family Christmas party.

Does Anyone Dare Refudiate My Claim That Sarah Palin Is An Idiot? - Anybody with an IQ above room temperature realizes that Palin is a moron, plain and simple.

UK's Most Famous UFO Incident: Aliens Or US Military Screw Up? - UFO hunters claim that Britain's most famous aliens incident may have been caused by US airmen trying to cover up a major operational blunder.

Sloppy Drunk Amy Winehouse Plays Private Party In Moscow For 1 Million - Amy Winehouse turned up on stage drunk at a Moscow gig last night where she was playing in front of Russia's rich and famous for a one million payment.

Outrage: Cop Shoots And Kills Beloved Family Pooch - Boomer barked, and the cop panicked and shot him to death.

Peso Madness - Geographically-challenged Philippine maps and a rare parrot with the wrong-coloured beak have perturbed the country after the central bank rolled out error-filled new editions of its peso bills.

Sonic Booms Make Israeli Crocs Go Into Mating Mode - Sonic booms created by Israeli warplanes speeding across the sky are having the unintended consequence of launching hibernating crocodiles into mating mode, the daily Maariv reported on Sunday.

Relax! Sarah Palin The Celebrity Doesn't Pose Existential Threat To America - I urge my liberal brethren to stop trying to persuade Palin fanatics that they are enthralled by an empty designer suit.

British Women Attached To Their Magnetic Bras - A BRITISH department store unveiled a hi-tech line of lingerie today that stays on thanks to magnets.

Israeli Air Force Doesn't Fool Around, Shoots Down UFO - The Israeli Air Force shot down an unidentified flying object over the Dimona nuclear plant in the Negev Desert Thursday, the Israel Defense Forces said.

Chicago Emergency Responders Save Coyote From Drifting Slab Of Ice - Chicago emergency responders said they rescued a coyote spotted drifting on a piece of Lake Michigan ice.

Vending Machine In Florida Dispenses Gold Bars And Coins - A German company specializing in vending machines dispensing gold bars and coins picked Boca Raton, Fla., as its first U.S. test market, a U.S. company says.

Sarah Palin: Oooh. Sorry I'm Not So Hoity-Toity! Say What, Girlfriend? - This was Sarah Palin's brilliant comeback when Fox News TV talking head Bill O'Reily asked her about columnist's Charles Krauthammer's (no flaming liberal) criticism that her reality TV show isn't burnishing her presidential image.

Strippermobile With Sensibly Dressed Strippers Spreads Christmas Cheer - I hope that the religious crowd who got their panties in a twist over the strippermobile last year, will get into the Christmas spirit and commend the strip club for doing the right thing and donating presents to poor children.

World's Oldest Facebook User: Lillian Lowe, 103, Of England - A 103-year-old British woman who may be the world's oldest Facebook user said she regularly browses the Web site on her iPad.

It Would Benefit Sarah Palin If She Cried In Public - I would advise Boehner, and Beck and every other politician, of either sex, to keep their emotions in check. The only exception is Palin, we need to see her bawl, so that we know she's a human being.

Harlem Dude Invents Gadget To Prevent Pants From Sagging - A New York man said he has invented the perfect fashion accessory designed to keep low-riding pants sagging at just the right level.

Cops Catch Bank Robbers When They Spot Dollar Bills Flying Out Car's Window - Authorities in Alabama said money seen flying from the windows of a vehicle led to the arrests of five men accused of bank robbery.

Illinois Judge: OK For Lady To Use Toilets As Outdoor Planters - An Illinois judge tossed a $25 ticket issued to a woman accused of violating a ordinance with her outdoor planters -- a pair of toilets and a sink.

Chicken Leg With Bite Taken Out Of It Leads To Crowbar Attack - Police in Ohio say a man allegedly beat his brother with a crowbar during a dispute about a piece of fried chicken with a bite taken out of it.


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