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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Relax! Sarah Palin The Celebrity Doesn't Pose Existential Threat To America - I urge my liberal brethren to stop trying to persuade Palin fanatics that they are enthralled by an empty designer suit.

British Women Attached To Their Magnetic Bras - A BRITISH department store unveiled a hi-tech line of lingerie today that stays on thanks to magnets.

Israeli Air Force Doesn't Fool Around, Shoots Down UFO - The Israeli Air Force shot down an unidentified flying object over the Dimona nuclear plant in the Negev Desert Thursday, the Israel Defense Forces said.

Chicago Emergency Responders Save Coyote From Drifting Slab Of Ice - Chicago emergency responders said they rescued a coyote spotted drifting on a piece of Lake Michigan ice.

Vending Machine In Florida Dispenses Gold Bars And Coins - A German company specializing in vending machines dispensing gold bars and coins picked Boca Raton, Fla., as its first U.S. test market, a U.S. company says.

Sarah Palin: Oooh. Sorry I'm Not So Hoity-Toity! Say What, Girlfriend? - This was Sarah Palin's brilliant comeback when Fox News TV talking head Bill O'Reily asked her about columnist's Charles Krauthammer's (no flaming liberal) criticism that her reality TV show isn't burnishing her presidential image.

Strippermobile With Sensibly Dressed Strippers Spreads Christmas Cheer - I hope that the religious crowd who got their panties in a twist over the strippermobile last year, will get into the Christmas spirit and commend the strip club for doing the right thing and donating presents to poor children.

World's Oldest Facebook User: Lillian Lowe, 103, Of England - A 103-year-old British woman who may be the world's oldest Facebook user said she regularly browses the Web site on her iPad.

It Would Benefit Sarah Palin If She Cried In Public - I would advise Boehner, and Beck and every other politician, of either sex, to keep their emotions in check. The only exception is Palin, we need to see her bawl, so that we know she's a human being.

Harlem Dude Invents Gadget To Prevent Pants From Sagging - A New York man said he has invented the perfect fashion accessory designed to keep low-riding pants sagging at just the right level.

Cops Catch Bank Robbers When They Spot Dollar Bills Flying Out Car's Window - Authorities in Alabama said money seen flying from the windows of a vehicle led to the arrests of five men accused of bank robbery.

Illinois Judge: OK For Lady To Use Toilets As Outdoor Planters - An Illinois judge tossed a $25 ticket issued to a woman accused of violating a ordinance with her outdoor planters -- a pair of toilets and a sink.

Chicken Leg With Bite Taken Out Of It Leads To Crowbar Attack - Police in Ohio say a man allegedly beat his brother with a crowbar during a dispute about a piece of fried chicken with a bite taken out of it.

Old Lady Beats Hell Out Of Would-Be Rapist With Frying Pan! - A Kansas man accused of trying to rape a 71-year-old woman was hospitalized for several days due to injuries the elderly woman inflicted with a frying pan.

Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Expecting Twins - After accidentally calling her baby bump 'they,' Mariah Carey had everyone speculating that she and Nick Cannon were having twins. And on his radio show on Thursday morning (December 16), Cannon confirmed as much.

Teen Sensation Justin Bieber Cleared Of Assault Charges - Justin Bieber will not be charged for his October laser-tag incident, in which a 12-year-old boy claimed he was punched in the face by the teen sensation.

Naked Postal Worker Scares Female Office Worker - A Wisconsin mailman was arrested last week after he showed up to an office building naked, delivering a lot more than the mail.

Dude Performs CPR On Heart Attack Victim, Then Steals Purse From Wife - Police in Florida said a man who attempted a life-saving procedure on a heart attack victim was arrested for allegedly stealing a purse from the man's wife.

Holy Outrage: Swedish Minister Wears Porno T-Shirt On Facebook Page - Church officials in Sweden are pondering what to do about a Stockholm-area pastor who allegedly put photos of himself wearing a porn-themed T-shirt on Facebook.

Mike Jones, Ginger Littleton And Bill Husfelt: Heroes Of School Board Meeting Nightmare - Video footage has emerged of the moment a US man shot at school board members at a meeting in Florida, narrowly missing them before being shot by a security guard and then apparently shooting himself.


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