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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Deer Strolls into Walmart and Freaks Out Over Walmart Freaky Shoppers - Friends don't let friends shop at Walmart!

Die Millennials! For God's Sake Just Die! - I for one am eagerly waiting for the Zombie Apocalypse, I just hope and pray that they will wipe out millennials from the face of the Earth.

Dude Sues Date for Texting During 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vo. 2' - The lawsuit alleges the woman opened her phone to read and send text messages 10 to 20 times during the film.

Donald Trump Impeachment Talk 24/7 - I'm praying that Democrats will take control of the Senate in the mid-term elections and impeach the bastard.

Should Donald Trump Be Impeached or Executed? - Impeach Donald Trump

Does Donald Trump Really Want to be President? Will He Resign? - Its axiomatic that Donald Trump is the least qualified president ever to sit in the Oval Office, he has the attention span of a colicky toddler, the vocabulary of a 5th grader, the diplomatic skills of a bouncer, the charisma of prosperity gospel televangelist, and the intellectual curiosity of a wilted head of cabbage.

Evangelical Supporters of Donald Trump Would Deny Jesus Before They Would Forsake Trump - Kim Jong-un, the Dear Leader of North Korea, and Donald Trump the Leader of the Free World have a lot in common.

Donald Trump Tweets "We" and Twitter Goes Nuts - Something amazing happened on Twitter on Saturday. The President of the United States, arguably one of the most controversial people on the platform, tweeted one word with two letters and so much power.

A Lynchburg Resident's Take on Donald Trump's Commencement Address at Liberty University - I could have delivered a speech of equal style and substance - when I was in elementary school. damn Falwell for shaming Lynchburg, and damn Trump for shaming our country.

CNN and Ice Cream-gate - CNN is loco.

Epidemic of 'Avocado Hand' Injuries Proof God Hates Wankers and Millennials! Video! - You don't need to be a rocket scientist, a chef or a Mexican to know how to properly cut open an avocado, but with the incredible surge in the popularity of the fruit a lot of newbies are suffering serious injuries attempting to cut open the delicious treat.

Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, For President in 2020! - The Rock is the most popular movie star in the world, he has a family-friendly reputation, he's eminently likeable, and I believe that he would win in a general election against any politician or celebrity, with the possible exception of Baby Groot.

Dalai Lama Fails to Remove Negative Energy From Nancy Pelosi! Where's Mr. T? - After meeting with the Dalai Lama Democratic Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi told a crowd that the Tibetan spiritual leader had prayed for her that she would rid herself of her negative attitude about dwelling on the negative too much.

Donald Trump Made One of His Own Tweets into a Twitter Header - President Donald Trump's Twitter strategy has never been subtle, but his decision Monday to top his header with one of his own tweets was bold even by his standards.

Baby Groot is the Messiah the Galaxy Needs in the Age of Donald Trump - I am obsessed with Baby Groot, and that's not a bad thing. I love Baby Groot waving goodbye. I love Baby Groot dancing. I love Baby Groot having a tantrum! I love Baby Groot. America Loves Baby Groot. The World Loves Baby Groot. The Galaxy loves Baby Groot.

A Therapy Dog in a Dental Office Is a Wonderful Idea - Going to the dentist is something many people dread, but one Wichita dental office is trying to make the experience a little easier on patients.

Why Do Cats Knead? - I have two cats, and they both knead on the carpet, rugs, sofas, and on my belly and chest when I'm sleeping on the sofa.

Outrage! Green Party Teaching Women How to Urinate Standing Up! - Teaching women how to urinate standing up is a biological absurdity, and an affront to the Almighty! What in the name of God is next? Will they hold a special meeting to teach women how to adjust their crotch in public just like the dudes?

Rose Garden Photo of Trump and White Congressmen Gloating Will Come Back to Bite Them - When the mid-term elections roll around, I hope that every person of color who voted for Trump will take a good look at this photograph of these politicians with shit-eating grins on their fat faces.

Caitlyn Jenner Bio a Bust! 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Ratings Tanking! There's Hope for America! - "Is our long national nightmare over? The saga of the hideous Kardashian-Jenners is losing steam at last. People may finally be wearying of people who are famous for no reason.

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