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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Outrage! April Ryan Says Melania Trump Isn't 'Culturally American' - CNN contributor April Ryan was not impressed with Melania Trumps Be Best campaign, saying that the first lady was not culturally American.

Man Jailed for Beating Mom With a Light Saber! - A 42-year-old Pennsylvania man is facing an assault and harassment charges after allegedly beating his mother with a Star Wars light saber, according to court records.

Disgraced Televangelist Jim Bakker Selling Apocalypse-Proof Condos and $150 Water Bottles - Jim Bakker slipped out of most peoples collective consciousness after he fell from grace following a sex scandal and his 1989 fraud conviction. But the disgraced televangelist is back, focusing on the apocalypse and urging people to buy both real estate and eye-poppingly expensive extreme survival warfare water bottles from him to prepare.

John McCain May Be On His Deathbed But He Doesn't Deserve Any Praise - John McCain (R-Ariz.) said he regrets choosing former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) to be his running mate during the 2008 presidential campaign.

Mike Pence and Donald Trump: Locked Together in Sexual/Political Embrace - Vice President Mike Pence is known as a bedrock religious conservative, and as an unapologetic supporter of the short-fingered vulgarian, Donald Trump.

White House Has Regular Bible Studies and Prayer Sessions! It's the Most Evil and Corrupt Administration in History! - This Bible study-loving and praying administration is leading or democracy straight to hell!

Police Cat Pawficcer Badges Joins Troy Police Department - Police cat Pawfficer Badges is a purr-fect addition to the Troy Police Department, and I wish her success in her career.

Orange Antichrist Has Deepened Divide Between White and Black Evangelicals - Eleven Sunday morning will continue to be the most segregated hour as long as white evangelicals remain enthralled by the orange Antichrist.

Outrage! Oklahoma City Cop Prevents Chicken from Crossing the Road! - A surprised Oklahoma City police officer captured video of a 'small town problem in the big city' -- a loose chicken crossing a road.

Rapper Calls on Crips to Assault Kanye West for Supporting Trump! Do You Agree? - West Coast rapper Daz Dillinger has taken issue with Kanye West supporting President Donald Trump, going as far as to threaten him over the stance.

Michelle Wolf Rips Sarah Huckabee Sanders a New One at the WHCD - I would have given my life savings to call Sanders a liar to her face, bravo to Wolf for calling a filthy liar a liar.

Whole Foods Draws Flak for 'Yellow Fever' Asian Restaurant - Earlier this week, Whole Foods opened a new Asian-themed restaurant called Yellow Fever at one of their Long Beach, California locations - and Twitter immediately pointed out how racist the name was.

ABBA Announces New Music! Hallelujah! - Some 35 years after their split, the four original members of Abba announced today that they have recorded two new songs. One, 'I Still Have Faith in You,' is set for release in December.

Thug Cat Knocks Over Laptop - Cats are drawn to laptops like mice are drawn to cheese and dogs to bones. Whenever I power up my laptop my cat wakes up from hibernation and plops down on the keyboard, making writing my articles a tedious and cumbersome enterprise.

Donald Trump's 'Breeding' Tweet Racist as Hell - President Donald Trumps tweets are a real-time glimpse into the sewer of racism that breeds in his mind.

Hillary Clinton Went on an F-Bomb Tirade Against Donald Trump in Debate Prep - Hillary Clinton unleashed a f--k-laced fusillade about President Trump as they were preparing to debate in 2016, according to a new book.

Shania Twain Says She Would Have Voted for Trump, Then Apologizes - Multi-platinum country-pop star Shania Twain is walking back a statement she made in an interview with The Guardian in which she said she would have voted for Donald Trump were she an eligible voter.

Donald Trump Considering Pardon for Boxer Jack Johnson - Is Donald Trump serious about granting a full pardon to this African American icon? Trump values celebrity above everything else, and if Stallone recommends pardon for Johnson, he may very well follow through.

Donald Trump and White Evangelicals: A Marriage Made in Hell - We will never forgive Trump for his racism and misogyny, and we will never forgive white evangelicals for supporting such a moral degenerate.

Ted Cruz's Time Magazine Tribute to Donald Trump is an Embarrassment - When Ted Cruz was asked to write a public tribute in Time magazine to the lowlife orange bully who mercilessly attacked him and his family during the 2016 presidential campaign, he would have politely declined if he had a shred of dignity.

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