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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Florida's Wildlife Freezing To Death - Manatees, sea turtles and fish in the Sunshine State are dying in record numbers because of the unusually long cold snap.

MySpace On The Ropes, CEO Quits! - MySpace CEO, Owen Van Natta, quit after less than ten months on the job. He's bailing out on a sinking ship, every month thousands desert MySpace.

Will Lady Gaga And Cyndi Lauper Collab? - Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga are like two peas in a pod, they are both fashion innovators and gifted singer songwriters

Boredom Can Be Deadly - There's a new killer on the loose - boredom.

Emotions Run High In Meeting About Cancer Cluster - This is a classic case of "too little, too late." How can you possibly console a community that has been devastated by a cancer cluster.

Third-Hand Smoke: The Hidden Menace - Lingering residue from tobacco smoke which clings to upholstery, clothing and the skin releases cancer-causing agents, work in PNAS journal shows.

Madonna Has New Toyboy - Madonna has supposedly taken a shine to a new man, just days after splitting from 23 year-old squeeze Jesus Luz.

Cancer Cluster Nightmare In Florida - If health officials found a cluster of childhood brain cancer in Beverly Hills, the upscale community would be flooded with physicians, scientists and environmental specialists.

Ellen DeGeneres Bombs On American Idol! Fire Her Now! Please! - The next person booted from American Idol shouldn't be one of the young contestants, but the over-the-hill talk show host who knows zilch about popular music.

"The Apartment" Restaurant Makes Diners Feel At Home - There is a restaurant in Jakarta that promises patrons they're going to feel at home and things look promising when a pajama-wearing waiter asks if you'd like to dine in the bedroom.

UFO Mania - I can understand if the daredevils were mistaken for the famous Flying Elvi, but UFO's? Everything in the sky that can't be readily identified as a bird or a plane is described as a UFO.

Lindsay Lohan Goes Too Far! She's Depicted As Jesus Christ On Magazine Cover - Even folks like me who never darken the door of church are outraged over a self-obsessed Hollywood whore depicted as the humble and compassionate Jesus Christ.

Is Snooki A Harbinger Of Armageddon? - When I read the headline "Network Fined Over Killing Of A Rat On Reality Series" I thought that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino had killed Snooki.

Ohio Strip Joint Holds "Lap Dances For Haiti" Fundrasier - The "Lap Dances For Haiti" fundraiser was a moderate success, Marilyn's on Monroe in Toledo raised $1,000.

Amy Winehouse Ain't No Mother Teresa - Amy Winehouse has managed to tarnish her reputation beyond redemption, not even a team of public relations experts can salvage her career.

This Video Proves That Sarah Palin Is A Hopeless Bimbo - The Thrilla from Wasilla is certainly doing her part to lift American spirits by dressing sexy. In this video Palin in her short skirt looks indistinguishable from the other Fox News hotties.

Pakistani Diplomat's Name Translates Into "Biggest Dick" In Arabic - Saudi Arabia has rejected Pakistan's nominated diplomat as his name translates into 'Biggest Dick' in Arabic.

PETA Calls Kanye West & Amber Rose "Pathetic Creatures" - Kanye and his girlfriend wore hideous floor-lenght fur coats at the annual Men's Fashion Week in Paris. Kanye is an egomaniac who will do anything for publicity, from crashing an acceptance speech at an awards show to dressing in a vulgar fur coat.

Nightmare: Amy Winehouse Moves Into Your Neighborhood - There would be nothing glamorous about having Wienhouse living in your neighborhood. It would be nerve wracking to dodge paparazzi, groupies, druggies and assorted rif-raff every time you leave or enter your home.

Kutai The Orangutan Predicts Indianapolis Colts Will Win Super Bowl - Kutai has a good record of choosing the winner, according to Oregon Zoo spokesperson Bill LaMarche.


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