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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Birthday Girl Paris Hilton Has Fun On Her Stripper's Pole - "Infamous for her antics, heiress Paris Hilton celebrated her 28th birthday by showing off her pole dancing skills to guests."

Praise The Lord: Jim Bakker's Old Shows For Sale - "An Atlanta investment banker is auctioning off more than 15,000 videotaped episodes of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker's iconic Christian talk show."

Curious Octopus Floods Aquarium Offices - "Staff at the Santa Monica Pier Aquarium in California say the trickster who flooded their offices with sea water was armed. Eight-armed, to be exact. An octopus!"

In Germany Some Protest Economic Woes By Burning Luxury Cars - At least 29 vehicles were destroyed in arson attacks this year in Berlin, most of them luxury cars, according to police.

Muslim Scholar: Biofuels A Sin Against Islam - "An Islamic scholar in Saudi Arabia said using ethanol or other alcohol-derived fuels in vehicles may be a sin for Muslims."

BMW with Dead Body Inside Gets Seven Parking Tickets - "A car found in a Gainesville neighborhood with a dead body in the back seat had been ticketed seven times by city parking enforcement."

Wearing An iPod Can Be Dangerous - "A Connecticut man was so engrossed with the tunes on his iPod that he didn't realize his house was on fire - until his alarm company called."

Mayor Circulates Pic Of White House Lawn Planted With Watermelons - The mayor of a small Southern California city says he will resign after sharing an e-mail picture depicting the White House lawn planted with watermelons.

Dad Stabs Adult Son In Butt Because He Didn't Remove Hat In Church - A warrant has been issued for the arrest of a man charged with stabbing his son because the son failed to remove his hat while the two attended church services.

Help Old Lady Cross The Street At Your Peril - "A good Samaritan who pushed 3 people out of the path of a truck before being struck and injured has gotten a strange reward for his good deed: A jaywalking ticket."

Nicky Hilton Places Bum Under Citizen's Arrest - Paris Hilton may be a brainless twit, but I kinda like her sister. How can you not like a socialite who dines at the IHOP and places a homeless dude under arrest?

Thief With A Penchant For Balsamic Vinegar - "A sign hangs amid the bottles of vinegar at Newport Avenue Market. It's simple, to the point: "Thanks to the Balsamic Vinegar Thief this area is now under surveillance. We will get you."

Will Octomom Accept $1 Million Offer To Star In Porn Flick? - "The Southern California mother of octuplets is being offered $1 million to star in hardcore porn."

Cold Cheese Sandwich And Milk For School Lunch? - "A cold cheese sandwich, fruit and a milk carton might not seem like much - but that's what's on the menu for students in New Mexico's largest school district without their lunch money."

In Bid To Save Career Chris Brown Enrolls In Anger Management Class - "In a reported attempt to regain his 'good guy' image and learn to control his aggression, Chris Brown is taking anger management classes."

Dude Tries To Steal Laptop To Check Facebook - Sheriff's officers said a 19-year-old man snatched a Starbucks customers laptop after being told he could not use it to check his Facebook account

Everyone Hates Octomom - For a day or two Nadya Suleman was known as Miracle Mom, but now she's Single Mom, Welfare Mom, Bulging Lips Mom, Psycho Mom, Angelina Wannabe Mom...

US Airways Will Stop Charging For Sodas, Juices and Coffee - US Airways announced Monday that free beverage service will resume on March 1 on board its planes.

Army Charity Hordes Millions, Our Vets Neglected - As soldier's stream home from, the biggest charity inside the U.S. military has been stockpiling millions meant to help put returning fighters back on their feet

Psycho Dentist Makes Housecall To Grab Lady's Dentures - "A German court Friday found a dentist guilty of assault for forcibly extracting the dentures from a patient who did not pay a 700-euro (623-pound) bill."


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