 | Britney's Kids Will Join Her On Concert Tour - "Both Sean Preston and Jayden James will, in fact, be joining Britney throughout the duration of her tour. The Circus kicks off in New Orleans on March 3rd."
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 | Britney Spears Worried Crazy Over Stolen Journals - Britney Spears is in a panic over stolen journals and video interviews. |
 | Navy Frees $1 Billion Missile Cruiser - "The Navy on Monday freed the $1 billion guided missile cruiser that had been stuck for more than three days since it ran aground close to the coast of Honolulu.
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 | Too Much Texting With Friends Can Make Young Girls Depressed - Too much chatting with their friends can make girls prone to anxiety and depression, a study has found. |
 | The Crime Of Many Gitmo Prisoners: FWM (Farming While Muslim) - Gitmo is a symbol of American arrogance and disdain for international law. Obama has promised to close it down within a year, but that's not soon enough.
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 | Support Breast Cancer Research: Buy Dell's Promise Pink Laptops - "Dell announced today a partnership with Susan G. Komen for the Cure to raise money through Dell's new Promise Pink laptops." |
 | Columnist Judith Warner: I Dreamt Obama Was In My Shower - I dreamt of Barack Obama. He was taking a shower right when I needed to get into the bathroom to shave my legs.
Judith Warner |
 | Janitor Throws Away Student's 7-Year Collection Of Lizard Dung - A British university has apologized to a Ph.D. student for throwing away his treasured, seven-year collection of lizard dung. |
 | 2 British Cops: One Sees Flying Saucer, Pal Spots Beast Of Essex - Keystone Cops In The UK? British finest report sightings of flying saucers and Beast of Essex. |
 | Barack Obama And Religion - Obama has been badly burned by his dalliances with ministers like Rev. Wright and Rick Warren, but he continues his flirtation with "men of god". |
 | Lady Fails Written Test For Driver's License 771 Times - A woman in South Korea has failed the written exam required for a driver's license 771 times. |
 | 60-Year-Old Lady Delivers Twins - A 60-year-old woman in Calgary has given birth to twins after going to India for fertility treatments. |
 | UFO Hovers Over Houses Of Parliament - "A multicoloured spacecraft seen floating opposite the Houses of Parliament was among the hundreds of UFOs reported in 2008, it has been disclosed." |
 | Chicken Hawk Dick Cheney Has Turned Into Chicken Little - "The former vice president warned Wednesday that there's a 'high probability' the U.S. will get nuked by terrorists during President Obama's watch."
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 | Try To Make Baby Smile: Go To Jail - "Police scrambled eight patrol cars filled with armed officers after a man in his 50s pointed a toy ray-gun at a baby and said 'Pow, Pow'" |
 | Guys: Sign Up For Online PMS Alert - ONE hundred thousand men sick of copping a monthly serve from cranky partners have signed up for an online pre-menstrual syndrome alert |
 | Dude Dons Sleeping Bag As Cape And Tries To Mug A Guy - When you are robbing a person it's imperative that you look imposing and intimidating. When you wear a sleeping bag as a cape , you don't look very scary. |
 | Paris Hilton Goes On Shopping Spree To Help Global Economy - Paris Hilton: 'It's really scary about the economy right now. So the way I'm playing my part in helping is doing a lot of shopping wherever I go.'
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 | Christian Bale (Batman) Goes Ballistic - Christian Bale goes on a profanity-laced tirade against film crew. |
 | Sheyla Hershey Sets World Record With 38KKK Breasts - Hershey`s humongous boobs make Pamela Anderson`s mammary glands look like mosquito bites. I have never understood the fascination |
