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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Woman Kicked Out of Mall For Wearing Revealing Dress - The establishments guys frequent (pawn shops, gun shops, sporting goods stores) are usually stand-alone buildings. We only go to a shopping center when we are dragged there by our girlfriends or spouses.

Bigfoot Competing With Montauk Monster For Headlines - The human genome has been fully mapped, and the scientists at CERN may be close to discovering the "god particle" that explains how sub-atomic particles acquire mass.

Liberal Rocker Jackson Browne Suing John McCain for Copyright Infringement - Jackson Browne is the poster boy for progressive political activism, his songs are infused with his liberal ideology.

Will Colin Powell Endorse Barack Obama? - `I do not have time to waste on Bill Kristol`s musings,` Powell told ABC. `I am not going to the convention. I have made this clear.`

Ellen DeGeneres And Portia de Rossi To Tie The Knot This Weekend - The pair are reportedly planning a small, intimate ceremony with only a few close friends and family.

Angry Wife Auctions Huge Panties Of Husband's Mistress On eBay - "An Australian woman has taken revenge on her cheating husband by auctioning his mistress`s "huge" panties and his "size small" condom packet on eBay.

Religion Is A Deadly Virus - The virus goes by many names (Southern Baptist, Roman Catholic Church, Shiite Islam, Scientology), and it`s infected over 90 percent of the world`s population.

Elizabeth Edwards Doesn't Deserve Sympathy - Elizabeth Edwards has incurable cancer, an awful prognosis that renders victims with a feeling of helplessness and resignation. The treatments for cancer, radiation and chemotherapy, physically and emotionally drain an individual.

Huge Inflatable Dog Turd Scares BeJesus Out Of Swedes - Artists never suffer from the equivalent of writer`s cramp, they can create anything and label it "art" and the gullible public will eat it up.

Is John McCain Too Old To Be President? - Sen. John McCain, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee turns 72 this month -- this is a good time to reflect on McCain`s "age issue".

John McCain Should Mellow Out - Sen. John McCain reminds me of the grouchy old codger with nothing better to do than to sit on his porch swing all day,

Waterboarding and Coney Island: A New National Pastime - The scene using robotic dolls is an installation built by artist Steve Powers to criticize waterboarding, a simulated drowning technique the United States has admitted using on terrorism suspects, but that rights group say is torture."

Obama Supporters To Learn VP Pick Via Text Message - "Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is close to choosing a running mate, and the first person to find out could be you.

John Edwards Should Immediately Take A Paternity Test - "John Edwards ex-mistress Rielle Hunter says she won`t have a paternity test conducted on her daughter - not now, not ever.

Is The Montauk Monster Destined For Hollywood Stardom? - The Montauk Monster isn`t exactly a pretty boy-- the beast is not a prime candidate for Hollywood stardom.

Televangelist Victoria Osteen Acts Like A Primadonna - Victoria Osteen, as a minister of Jesus Christ, should not have been in the first-class compartment.

Is There More Than One Montauk Monster? - One Montauk Monster is a novelty, a laugh, and a great conversation starter. But an army of Montauk Monsters is no joke, it`s the type of horror that keeps folks awake at night.

Kooky Grandma Drives With 4-Year-Old Girl On Roof Of Car - A grandmother spent the night in jail after she drove her car with her granddaughter on the roof.

Is McCain Ad Implying Barack Obama Is The Antichrist? - The McCain campaign is subliminally suggesting that Obama is not the Messiah, but the Antichrist. The ad in question refers to Obama as "The One"

Newsflash: Clay Aiken Is A Father - "The former American Idol contestant and music producer Jaymes Foster welcomed a baby boy Friday morning, the singer said in a statement on his Web site.

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