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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Japan's Top Military Official: No Sign of UFO Invasion - Japan's top military official earnestly revealed that the country's Air Self Defense Force had never encountered an extraterrestrial unidentified flying object.

Fat Albert Urges Bill Cosby to Come Clean - Even Fat Albert wants Bill Cosby to come clean.

It's a Moral Imperative to Heckle Bill Cosby - Nobody should be outraged or surprised that`s there`s a heckler in the audience at any comedy venue, especially if the comic on stage is accused of being a serial rapist.

Would a Hillary Clinton Administration Be Transparent About UFOs? - I don`t know what`s scarier: Another Clinton presidency or discovering that there's a thriving extraterrestrial community in Area 51.

Texas Trooper in Trouble for Posing with Snoop Dogg - A Texas Department of Public Safety trooper has been reprimanded after posing for a photo with rapper Snoop Dogg.

Kmart Pooper Wore 'Dropping a Load' T-shirt - Police arrested a woman accused of urinating and defecating in a box at Kmart while wearing a T-shirt that said 'dropping a load.`

Statue of Lucille Ball Creeps Out Residents of Her Hometown: Video - The artist responsible for this abomination should be tarred and feathered, burned at the stake, crucified, and have his remains fed to Rosie O'Donnell.

'Price is Right' Model Commits Epic Gaffe: Video - Manuela Arbelaez accidentally revealed the price of a sedan before the contestant had a chance to select it, clinching a victory for the lucky - and definitely unsuspecting - player.

April Fools: CERN Announces Discovery of the Force - CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, got into the April Fools` Day spirit by announcing the discovery of the Force from the Star Wars films.

Indiana Pizza Shop: We Won`t Serve Gay Weddings! Outrage! - If O`Connor wants to be a good Christian witness she should serve everyone in her community with a smile.

Kelly Clarkson's Triumphant Return to 'American Idol' - I never watch my former favorite show any more; I made a one-time exception for Kelly Clarkson. Like good wine Clarkson has aged very well, she`s an Idol, a superstar and a legend.

Epic Fight in Kentucky Involving a Bra and a Ceramic Chicken - Police say they arrested a 31 year old Lexington woman after she strangled a stranger with her bra.

Coachella and Lollapalooza Ban Satanic Selfie Sticks: Video! - The two top music festivals in the United States, Coachella and Lollapalooza, are telling their visitors to leave their selfie sticks and narcissism at home.

At 51 Lisa Rinna Looks Great in a Tiny Bikini - Rinna`s 51-year-old body looks terrific, but those unnatural lips have got to go!

Onions Engineered to Avoid Bad Breath, Tears - A Japanese firm announced it has developed tear-free onions that are low in the enzymes responsible for causing watery eyes in onion-cutting cooks.

Viral Video: Kids Creeped Out by Teddy Ruxpin - Some things from the 80s should enjoy a renaissance: Molly Ringwald movies and an MTV that actually airs music videos. But Teddy Ruxpin should be left burning in hell, and not terrorizing today`s impressionable kids.

Animal Who Stole Wedding Ring From Dying Woman Sentenced to 20 Years - A Wichita man will spend more than 11 years in prison for stealing a wedding ring and other items from a woman who was dying from a brain aneurysm in a Taco Bell drive-through in December 2013.

Meet Marnie the Dog: The Newest Internet Sensation! Video! - With her tongue permanently sticking out, and her head lolling to one side, Marnie is an unlikely celebrity. But Marnie`s adorable personality and her albeit freakish appearance has garnered her gazillions of fans.

Weatherman Steve Frasier Has Epic Wardrobe Malfunction Live : Video! - Weatherman Steve Frasier was getting ready to deliver a live update on Minnesota`s KMSP when he realized he missed a step getting dressed for the day.

Puppy and Kitten BFF! Video! - Dogs and cats aren`t supposed to be best friends, but try telling that to Adele, a four-week-old abandoned kitten and Chip, a five-week-old Chihuahua puppy who was given to the shelter because his owners claimed they couldn`t care for such a young puppy.

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