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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Outrage: Obama Declares 'Muslims Built the Fabric of our Nation' - I can`t wait until Barack Hussein Obama retires to his homeland of Kenya.

Rockies Give Away 15,000 Jerseys with Troy Tulowitzki`s Name Misspelled - As high as everyone is in the Mile High City, I`m surprised anyone noticed the typo.

Viral Video: Overjoyed Pooch Passes Out During Reunion With Owner - If you want someone who will love you unreservedly and unconditionally, adopt a dog from your local animal shelter today!

Samsung Phone Caught Fire Under Sleeping Girl`s Pillow: Video - If I had a 13-year-old daughter I would be more worried if she slept with a cell phone under her pillow, than if she slept next to her boyfriend.

Viral Video: Puppy Snuggles With Round Head Charlie Brown-Type Baby - It`s axiomatic that cats rule the Internet, but this cute baby and adorable puppy are doing their best to wrest control of cyberspace from felines.

Pit Bull Saves Chihuahua's Life, Now They're Inseparable: Video - A pit bull with a heart of gold carried around her Chihuahua friend on the streets of Savannah after the little guy was stricken with a severe eye infection.

Redneck Lady Calls Cops to Complain Her Meth Was 'Laced' - An Oklahoma woman wasn`t satisfied with the purity of her methamphetamine, so she decided to do something about it.

Megan Fox: I Want to Join Expedition to Find Bigfoot - If the History Channel produced a show about an expedition to find Bigfoot starring Megan Fox it would draw blockbuster ratings. Of course it wouldn`t hurt if Megan donned a camouflage hat, camouflage string bikini, and high heels instead of hiking boots.

2009 Underwear Bomber Plot Failed Because He Wore Same Drawers for 2 Weeks! - Nigeria is a hellhole populated by scammers, drug traffickers, Islamic militants with a penchant for kidnapping young girls, and underwear bombers with poor personal hygiene.

Walmart's Ice Cream Sandwiches Won't Melt in the Sun! Boycott Walmart! Video! - Walmart ice cream sandwiches are a perfect treat for souls burning in hell, but I would strongly urge parents not to give them to their vulnerable children.

Viral Video: Selfish Cat Refuses to Share Her Yogurt - Cats are cute, cuddly and selfish and territorial as hell, as this video proves.

Megadeth Drummer Nick Menza Films UFO - The drummer from American thrash metal band Megadeth has filmed a UFO in the sky above his house in California.

Man Goes in for Circumcision, Wakes Up to Discover Penis Missing! Video! - An Alabama man has filed a lawsuit alleging that a hospital amputated his penis instead of giving him a circumcision.

Black Postal Worker Goes Postal: Stylist Took Too Long to Untangle Her Ratty Weave! - A female African American postal worker walked into a beauty salon with the unrealistic expectation that the hair stylists could un-knot her tangled weave during her break from work. It would take less time to solve a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle or to prepare your taxes.

551-Pound Man Wants House Arrest Sentence Reduced Because He Can't Leave Anyway - A Florida man who weighs 551 pounds asked a judge to nullify the rest of his 30-month house arrest sentence because he can`t leave his home anyway.

Was Joseph Rudolph Wood's Execution Botched? Hell No, the Animal Died! - Many newspapers have described Wood`s execution as a botched execution,the only botched execution is one where the low-life scum who richly deserves to be put to death survives.

Outrage: Twitter Staff 3% Hispanic, 2% Black, 30% Female! - Twitter and other social media giant corporations don`t mind if minorities access their sites, but they are loathe to welcome us as employees.

Sarah Palin Blames Speeding Ticket on Sammy Hagar: Video - Sarah Palin was jamming out to some classic rock while driving in Alaska and it apparently got her motor running a little too fast.

Snoop Dogg Smoked Weed at the White House! Did Obama Join Him? Video! - Snoop Dogg hosted Jimmy Kimmel as a guest on his Internet talk show and told Kimmel that he once smoked weed in a White House bathroom.

Viral Video! Old Man Throws Away Canes, Drops it Like it's Hot! Dancing Machine! - A video starring an old dude dancing has temporarily eclipsed all the cat videos on the Internet.

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