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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Singapore Restaurant Utilizing Flying Robot Waiters from Hell! - Robots give me the willies!

Robot Vacuum Cleaner From Hell Attacks Sleeping Woman! - I`d rather rent out my spare bedroom to Charlie Manson than bring a robot vacuum cleaner inside my home.

South Korean Cafe Features Two Live Sheep - Sheep in a restaurant is a baaah baaah bad idea!

Man Lists 'Drug Dealer' as Occupation on Arrest Report - A West Palm Beach man listed his occupation on an arrest report as drug dealer.

Female Mugger Sprays Man With Pepper Spray - Charlotte Mecklenburg Police said a woman attacked a man with pepper spray outside his condominium on Fairview Road and demanded money from him.

Is Bobbi Kristina Brown a Victim of Foul Play? Is Her Gay Boyfriend Responsible? - Our thoughts and prayers are with Bobbi Kristina Brown!

UFO Group Claims They Can Summon UFO's by Meditating! Video! - Not one but two glowing UFO ships appeared over the horizon off the scenic coast of Vero Beach, Florida, last week, and a group that charges $2,500 for training sessions in how to communicate with UFOs claims that its members summoned the twin objects to appear by meditating."

Bruce Jenner the Transgender Woman is a Dead Ringer for Sarah Palin! - Just man up you publicity-obsessed freak!

Uber Offers Kitten Delivery Service for One Day in Australia! Purr-fect Idea! - I commend Uber for thinking outside the litter box, and conceiving this unusual and delightful promotion.

Pope Franics: It's OK for Parents to Smack Children for Bad Behavior! Amen! - Corporal punishment doesn`t need a theological basis; it`s just frigging common sense!

Ferguson Police to Test Non-Lethal Weapon! The World Has Officially Gone Nuts! - Welcome to the madhouse, it`s now politically-incorrect to kill criminals, even when they lunge for an officer`s gun.

Home Movie Shows Chicago Cubs' Wrigley Field in 1930s - A black-and-white home video shot at Wrigley Field in the 1930s shows a crowd of Chicago Cubs fans at a game during the early days stadium`s iconic ivy.

Barber Offers 'Benjamin Button' Old Man Cuts for Misbehaving Brats - If you don`t embarrass your unruly son to correct his evil ways, when he grows up he will embarrass you every time his mug shot appears on the Internet.

Plus-size Ashley Graham Graces Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue -- In an Ad - It`s not just rappers who like "thick" women, many men prefer curvy women. Heroin chic females aren`t my cup of tea; I`ll take a voluptuous Kate Upton over a thin as a rail Kate Moss any day of the week.

Sidney Poitier a Legend, Bill Cosby a Disgrace! - Legendary actor Sidney Poitier is terribly disgusted with embattled comedian Bill Cosby.

Pandas Are Adorable Escape Artists! Video! - A panda cam at China's Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding captured a hungry bear squeezing between iron bars to raid a neighbor's bowl of milk.

Seahawks WR Doug Baldwin Mimics Pooping During Super Bowl Touchdown Celebration - Doug Baldwin is ratchet to the core!

Punxsutawney Phil is a Pimp! - Punxsutawney Phil, the world`s most adorable seasonal prognosticator, saw his shadow on Monday morning, portending six more weeks of winter.

Jimmy Fallon's Epic 'Fresh Prince' Skit! Video! - The most epic video ever?

Chic to Release New Album! Good Times Are Eternal! - Chic is timeless!

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