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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Stray Cat Scares Bejesus Out of Wanker - A customer at a Tennessee garden center was caught on security camera jumping onto a store counter to avoid a stray cat that wandered in.

Teen Student Shows Up For Senior Prom in a Casket! Video! - Alexandrea Clark arrived to her senior prom in a hearse on Saturday at Americus Sumter High School, and said there was a good message behind it.

Rep. Jim Jordan Tells Anderson Cooper He's Never Heard Trump Lie - House Freedom Caucus co-founder Rep. Jim Jordan repeatedly insisted in an interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper that he has never heard pathological liar President Donald Trump tell a fib.

Brush Your Cat At Least Once a Week - Grooming your pet will also help you bond with him, he may think twice about scratching your furniture if you show him a little bit of attention.

Little Girl Draws Crude Drawing of Her Beloved Kitty on Missing Pet Flyer - A young girl is doing everything she can to find her missing cat.

Guide Dog Trained to Sniff Out Burger King Whoppers for Blind Owner - Burger King's U.K. branch released a video to YouTube of a guide dog being successfully trained to smell out flame-grilled Whoppers for his visually impaired owner.

Two Men Arrested for Being Black at Starbucks in Trump's America - I avoid Starbucks like the plague, I prefer not to patronize an establishment that's a magnet for slackers, wankers, hipsters and other assorted millennial riff-raff.

New York Daily News Headline: PEE BRAIN! Trump is a Pea-Brain Golden Showers-Loving Freak - The White House needs a solid cleansing, the People's House needs to be hosed down, washing away pee-stained Trump and his all of his lackeys.

Christian Conspiracy Theorist David Meade Predicts Rapture Will Take Place April 23, 2018 - The Bible warns us in Matthew 24.36: But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Crazy Woman Offers to Trade Car for Entire Stock of Necco Wafers! - A Florida woman really loves Necco Wafers, the colorful candies made by a Massachusetts-based company that is currently at risk of shutting down.

Outrage: Alabama Football Team Prays for Donald Trump at White House! - Members of the University of Alabama football team prayed with President Donald Trump on Tuesday afternoon as they made their ceremonial visit to the White House as winners of the 2017-2018 College Football Playoff National Championship.

Diamond and Silk's Coonery and Buffoonery Resonates With Trump's Racist Base - It sickens me that two black women shucking and jiving in support of a blatantly racist president garner millions of views on YouTube.

Dude Stabs Woman With Steak Knife Because He Didn't Like Texture of His Steak - I guarantee that the next time this woman fixes a steak dinner for her man, it will be cooked to his exact specifications. I can also guarantee that there will be a next time, stupid women rarely kick their violent boyfriends to the curb.

College Student Uses CPR She Learned From 'The Office' to Save Squirrel - Michigan University student, Natalie Belisto, isn't a useless wanker like her contemporaries, she used CPR to save the life of a drowning squirrel.

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox is a Master at Trolling Donald Trump - Viva Fox! You made my day, please continue to troll Trump, we hate him even more you hate the bastard.

Is Melania Trump Mocked More Than Any Other First Lady? - In their alternate reality conservatives claim that no First Lady has been demeaned and mocked more than Melania. Bitch, please!

Trump's Twitter Typos - But then again even if Trumps tweets were free of typos and punctuation errors, they are still the ramblings of a sick and twisted mind.

Bizarre UK Police Sketch Breaks the Internet - A British police department's computer-generated sketch of a suspect is going viral thanks to the face's unrealistic proportions.

Trump Tweets Thanks to Rasmussen Reports Poll - President Trump took to Twitter on Tuesday and commented on a poll from conservative-leaning Rasmussen Reports that shows his approval rating at 50 percent, ahead of where former President Barack Obama was at the same point in his presidency.

Robert Paul Reyes: My DNA Results - Culturally and racially I identified as Hispanic, regardless how much the blood of my European conquerors may be in my DNA.

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