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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

The Sarah Palin Nude Painting Controversy - A Chicago artist is drawing crowds to his bar after painting a portrait of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin in the buff.

Pirates Seize Ship And Demand 20 Million Ransom - When I think of pirates Johnny Depp`s fey interpretation of the scoundrels comes to mind, but real flesh and blood pirates are still wreaking havoc on the

Bicyclist Has A Rough Day - It seems fairly obvious that a bicycle is not a car, but many cyclists behave as if they were driving. They put their lives at risk and impede the flow of traffic, by riding in front of a driver at ten miles below the speed limit.

Don't Expect Every Kernel of Popcorn to Pop - Steve Kaplan was watching "Superbad" and munching on popcorn when he bit into an unpopped kernel and broke a tooth. He sued the theatre owner for his dental bills.

Sarah Palin: Dinosaurs And Men Coexisted - "Soon after Sarah Palin was elected mayor of the foothill town of Wasilla, Alaska, she startled a local music teacher by insisting in casual conversation that men and dinosaurs coexisted on an Earth created 6,000 years ago

71-Year-Old Man Pregnant? - "A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received this surprising news in the hospital`s paperwork: `Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant.` Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen.

Crazy Dentist Barges Into A Woman's House And Yanks Her Teeth Out - Going to the dentist is bad enough, but imagine a dentist breaking into your house and yanking your teeth.

Sarah Palin Carved Into Cornfield - "An Ohio farmer would like to invite you to get lost inside the head of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

Obama Wins Debate - "A national poll of people who watched the first presidential debate suggests that Barack Obama came out on top.

Sarah Palin's Pastor Problem - Sen. Barack Obama`s presidential aspirations were almost derailed by the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The junior senator from Illinois has not learned his lesson, he still goes trolling for votes in black churches.

Bill Clinton Heaps Praise On McCain And Palin - John McCain has run the sleaziest and dirtiest presidential campaign in recent history, even Karl Rove has rebuked McCain for his dishonest commercials.

Movie Star Paul Newman Dead At 83 - Newman was cool, talented and a decent human being. The screen legend gave most of the proceeds from "Nature`s Own", his food company, to charity.

Would You Buy A Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Cone Made From Human Milk? - "Mooove over, Holsteins. PETA wants world-famous Ben & Jerry`s Homemade Ice Cream to tap nursing moms, rather than cows, for the milk used in its ice cream.

Clay Aiken Comes Out Of The Closet - "This news is shocking, on par with `birds fly,` `fish swim` and `water is wet.` Clay Aiken is gay.

McCain's Skin Cancer Subject of Political Ad - Some Republicans are waxing apoplectic insisting that this ad is beyond the pale, but McCain`s health is a legitimate campaign issue.

Ed McMahon Raps For FreeCreditReport.Com - If you look up the word "shill" in your Funk & Wagnalls, you will see Ed McMahon`s mug shot.

Sarah Palin's Disastrous Interview With Katie Couric - In Palin`s gab fest with the obsequious Hannity, the Fox News talking head lobbed so many softballs that she managed to hit a few singles.

Magician David Blaine To Hang Upside Down For 60 Hours - "Blaine, a 35-year-old magician and showman, strung himself upside down above Central Park`s Wollman ice skating rink on Monday and plans to stay there for 60 hours.

Thief Steals Empty Beer Truck - A thief who should probably be considering another line of work failed to take a quick peek inside a beer truck before he stole the damn thing.

Huge Pig Terrorizes Old Lady For Ten Days - Let me see if I understand this correctly, this fat pig holds a poor old lady hostage in her home for 10 days and then he`s rewarded by being dispatched to pig heaven?


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